So I’m staring at my screen, with these lyrics which I have loved, and I have hated and I have loved and I have hated. It’s just exactly like my life. I’ve had nothing but crazy up and down and side to side for the last few. It’s mostly been the sleeping. And I’m not sure why. I think I’m going through something, and I think it’s about the writing. I know that it has something to do with the combined months of March and April. These are scary times for me.

I had a friend read cards for me tonight, and that was scary. Good, and what I needed to hear. Whatever you believe about such things. But it was pretty eerie. Because hearing that things are not all in YOUR immediate control (which is something that I already know) – is always a heady thing. Seeing things happen that you aren’t sure should – seeing things comfirmed. And also having your fears and your fears about your roles assuaged. That helps too I guess …

I’m pretty tired, so I won’t be here for long. But I think that’s what the real problem is right now. I’m really overwrought. I’m not getting work done because I’m not well rested. So there are no lists. If there are no lists then there is no followthru and there can be nothing but stupid decisions made.

And I am making a HOST of bad decisions. If I’m not careful I’m going to mess up EVERYTHING. Which is not good because things are going so well 🙂

Mascara and extreme fatigue are not friends …