Here is a blog I forgot to hit send on this early afternoon because I have neglected my chores and other adult items.
Hello greetings Earthlings. It has been a while. I haven’t written since LAST YEAR and I realize this. For now I am writing a gratuitous blog for MYSELF after doing reviews for the Spintunes Songwriting contest. I ended up erasing pages of review-work because I was predictably effusive and weird and needed to purge several documents one after the other–leaving only scant scadlings of myself behind. Now I worry there are some concerned thoughts “my god, if this is the edited stuff–what must this brain contain!?!” But worrying what others think of you is sort of like a seahorse pausing in front of a mirror refusing to wear an outfit because the plankton MIGHT get offended. Not that any of these contestants were plankton. That is NOT what I am sayyyyying……
As of of elevensies reviews had not yet been posted so perhaps there are some Spintunas clamoring for my head? (LIES: Reveiws posted as of the publishing-not-writing of blog. No one surrounded house with torches and pitchforks and tumbrils). No matter. In writing these reviews, I learned some things. Some of these things I should have already known, but:
- I REALLY REALLY REALLY like a run on sentence. You all are experiencing this as we speakeasy. There is no cure or hope for this. I know this about the run on AND adverbs because when I go into Grammarly (The latest incarnation of The Man but toward the populace of My Soul) or visit the Hemingway website (same but different) I get all stuffily miffed at its kind suggestions for improvement of my hot mess. #alasicannotspell #throwbackSunday
- Also, I don’t really care as much as I claim to about punctuation and the Oxford comma. That bugged me a little that I let that one slip bye-bye.
- I am nicely coming along as a work in progress no longer caring if people know I am crazypants. But I am not there yet and am still a bit of an Apology Aardvark.
- NEWSFLASH! An egg slicer does not just have to ONLY SLICE EGGS!! Husband showed me a reddit thing about this today and my mind did the emoji explodey emotion except with less pyrotecnics and brains.
- If I had to misspell anything in the reviews I wrote, I would MUCH rather it not have been “PREROGATIVE” (#MASSIVEEYEROLL, #iamasquare). If Micah who is running this thing now bothered to correct this for me, I stand corrected and should not have Said Anything.
- It’s hard to finish up reviews with children around the place (we were kiddo-sitting the last day)! I should give extra points for the parents in the group!
- I am far more nervous about submitting reviews than songs. My writing-writing is WAY more clumsy than my songwriting. But when I think about getting into poetry again as I used to be confident doing (saying “I am a poet”), I get the creeping skeeves.
- In songwriting I myself cannot be offended by reviews. I will submit the most ridiculous experimental trash, and psychically dare you to insult my efforts. Sometimes I get served a heaping review of Justice Toast and I deserve it. It’s not nice but I needed to bring home better bacon so it’s on me. Other times reviewers tell me something useful in a fully horrid fashion but again they have given me a gift (in improv, everything is a gift). I don’t know why I am so overconfident not to feel a bit precious about my tunes. I think it’s because ever since forever I have thought of a piano in front of me as a great Shield … even if there were better, cooler piano players around me that could read and jazz improv and Play Very Quickly and all that. I also know through years of living that my songs are Ass. But I love them and so do others and I clean up nice when I want to. It’s not all dental hygiene and apology reverb. And I want to give the gift of overconfidence somehow to other people, but it’s hard to do that when you are made of strawberries, secrets, comedy, feathers, and jello. (THERE’S MY COMMA!!!)
- Despite not wanting to turn reviews into a blog entry or put too much personality ridiculousness all over them—I mightily failed. They got a big vat of Ranger Den all over them and not a lot of well worded sense. At least one person requested more. They will live to regret this I am ka-certain.
- I will probably talk about improv in successive reviews, after brave-ing myself up with blog entries such as these. I may do videos, you don’t know!
- I might talk about music a little more deeply in next reviews, maybe even theory which I judiciously avoid doing because it feels like Hideous School Talk. But demons do not own music theory, so why not overcome trigger-y memories concerning those wilted salad days and share the hoarded dragon wealth.
- The older I get, the more meander-y it gets. Oh whale (Why am I obsessed with the ocean?).
- I think I miss songwriting but I have a block that is way more than three apples high. I know full well how to put on my big girl songwriting panties and deal with it, but overwhelm tends to hit me harder these days.
- This is too long. Perhaps that makes it unlucky. Hahaha. We totally make our own luck. PHBTBHBHBHT, thirteen!
- If you do not know what the hell I am talking about because you are a reader of this blog–follow this link. Also go listen to THESE songs which I ranked (I at least managed THAT)
- It sounds like I’m beating up on myself, but I’m actually sort of okay about it all. I came up in various environments where apologies were less about being apologetic and more about being an announcement that you were a person taking up space in a more than slightly orthodox way. I am still unpacking that.