just keep blogging

Let’s keep this goodness going.

This was when we parodied Cats at the Long center for Over the Lege.
  1. My brain is fried. I feel like lava does when it has broken up with someone. You want to explain but you really can’t go back now, can you?
  2. I have to finish writing a stand up comedy routine, of all things. I do not feel very funny today, or even silly. I open my mouth and this strange whiny noise comes out.
  3. I have not worn makeup in many a moon so I found a mascara-laden portrait of myself which I took in a dressing room.
  4. I like when I practice piano but I will go on and on with that and it’s not really constructive the way I do it, like I’m trying to board an enemy ship.
  5. I’m concerned about my hands because they go numb a lot and I don’t know why. I’m trying not to over-do the elderly schtick.
  6. I do miss working the way I used to and I miss the theater.
  7. I miss doing musical improv. I didn’t think it would happen. Maybe I will do some soon. You can do that over the internet and you can even do it with other people. I just haven’t been wild about trying with anyone in particular–and I know that this is really on me.
I’ve been making random font photos in instagram but I think I’m just doing it to be a jerk.
  1. I have a person who is annoying and I have complained about this person before. Apparently they are on facebook again, taking credit where credit is don’t. This should be like that Far Side cartoon. Like acid off a duck’s back?
  2. I have been way too caught up in old mentalities. There are so many of them to choose from. They make me dusty and unfunny. I do not think to speak in funny accents and it wouldn’t occur to me to put on a jaunty hat. I wrote about important things before but I also did so while I was reading far too many news articles. I think coming across as stodgy for the sake of stodge is not very important. No one wants to wade through a lake of word brick. I think I have strong opinions about this.
  3. I sound like an old movie that did not make the list of better podcast options.
  4. I have a new fear of the old vampires. Not the sexy kind either.
  5. If I’m out of the contest that’s all fine. I need to get used to the fact that the thing about a list of things to do is that it has items on it and that one ought to do them.
  6. I’ll just fix my song in a leisurely way and do things that are the most important as the priority. Move toward what will get me paid first. Song contests feel good and you meet deadlines but you are not getting money to do this. Of course, if I did not do all the things that did not give me money, I would die in obscurity and no work would be done at all ever.
  7. have actually been putting things up on the internet more than I used to so there is a small line of credit going into my self-satisfaction pig bank.
  8. I have most assuredly been drinking too much. I am most definitely too old to be doing so. I’ve never even been that much of a drinker. But beer tastes better when you ought to stay home. Hey! That’s on an unlucky number! :O
  9. Gardening is more difficult for some people than for others.
  10. Don’t even ask about dental floss. It’s insane to speak of these matters.
  11. I think this blog right now is meaningless. But I don’t care. I need to start just doing things for myself or I am going to disappear.

Secrets and Songs

Hi it’s me.

(this is not the song the post is about)

I wrote a song once years ago for that song contest I have historically done (Song Fight!) called Colorblind. So not recently. Recently-now I am thinking to finish a song called ‘This is Fine.’ At the moment, I don’t know that they’d have a title like “colorblind or Only I think it is meant to be spelled in the overseas sort of way with what I think of as ‘vacation vowels’—so with the ‘U.’ Like in the improv game Be More British.

Anyway, I did this long ago. Because it was the given title and we were told to. This had to have been sometimes between 2009-2011. I think I was supposed to not have a chorus and sort of meander along or maybe tell a story or I don’t remember. Typically for me at that time, I wrote it about a super secret almost-relationship I had had which was frustrating to me. I wanted to write about this thing that had happened so briefly that nobody in the entire universe even knew about so much so that I often forget it was there. Now, this is decades ago and I was so different.

In songwriting, not even five-ish years ago, I used to be vague but also forthcoming. I wrote in metaphors. But always, I look for signs. Maybe I’ll do this #songcontest I used to do again and maybe I will not. It seems to be a deadline my songwriter clock respects for some reason. The only other way I hustle is for an opening day or money.

I found these old lyrics, looking for paper. These were not the ones I used. These were full of flowery metaphors and obfuscations about what I was going through then. And my songwriter muscles are a bit out of whack after the switching gears into improvising and not sitting and crafting scenes and moods and a musical agenda. But there has to be a balance, right?

Hi again.

This is a photo of something bloggish and relaxing so that your eyes are not bored. I saw it when I had a lunch break from doing something exciting.

Is that cryptic? I’m really sorry. I’ve gotten really burnt out on the internet and social media in general. I could blame a lot of things. The political climate just…everywhere. The general level of discourse. Cyber overcrowding. My basic moodiness. But I’ve been good and fine and happy and stuff. Just normal me. And I’ve been busy and the things I used to complain about here are mostly mischiefmanaged and all that.

I’m not ready to get into specifics. I’m really just kind of feeling “why”ish and lazy about it. I want to do the stuff that might get me paid and/or that promises emotional or experience payoffs that benefit me or people I care for in some way. I don’t want to type into a vacuum. But there was something that this blogging did for me. I’m trying to remember it. Maybe when I do and I can form a sentence about that, I will do more of it. Stay tuna-ed…

#nobodybelievesthis

#untilnextyearthen…

casual update

Today I am going to post in this blog. It is not going to get overly cerebral. It is not going to get weird. I am not going to write an apology, or a long treatise on where I’ve been and why I havejourneyed there. I’m not going into long metaphors about dental hygiene or my cats.

undefined

I actually don’t know what I’m going to say.

I used to know the purpose of blogging. It was like a public diary. Of course people wanted to know everything about me. I’m terribly interesting. Right? Of course. Now that we got that out of the way.

The problem was when the internet got mean and no one thinks other people are interesting anymore. It’s what my great (possibly great-great) aunt Mamie used to call “making the game schmeary.”

This is a situation of playing Uno and you keep getting all the skips and reverses and draw fours (none of the other wild cards where you can just peacefully change the color and move on). And the person to your right (where the direction of play is heading) keeps getting slammed by what they think are your dastardly dealings of death and pain. Draw 2. Draw 2 again. Oh. A Skip. Then someone else skips to you then you lay down a Wild Draw 4. You’ve said “uno” every time. In fact, one time you said it slow and they viciously said “UNO” at the same time but everyone at the table said “nooooooo,” that you got it in in time and now player-to-the-right is turning into a thunderous raincloud right before your eyes and the living room is about to be a category 5.

Scores are tallied. You’re only 3 rounds in and you were going to play 5. or six. But player on your right THROWS the cards into the air (you find the one of the missing Blue 4s two weeks later, chewed up by cats) and storms out and that’s the end of this metaphor. But did you MEAN to draw all those cards? Were you supposed to be NICE about it and just rack up the points so that they could win? Apparently so …….. apparently you’re supposed to let the wookie win or he tears your arms off.

This is not the way that things should work, and I said that I wasn’t going to do this but this is why I don’t write much internet anymore or post and why nobody can have nice things or coffee and pie in public. Unnnngh and flargh. You have all heard this before. “Go brush your teeth, Denise!”

Obviously the card throwers of the world are making the game schmeary and if you hold your breath and kick and scream in the cereal aisle because mommy won’t buy you Count Chocula then you are a SPOILT BRAT, right? This should happen across the board RIGHT? RIGHT??!?!

Does it happen? No. Some people can just have and do whatever they want. Some people can just WALTZ down fifth avenue and…

no. I wasn’t going to do that. Who cares? Who listens? Does this even HELP. So no. Not from me …

NOT TODAY! (throws improv dagger)

I will talk about improv tomorrow. I will talk more about myself, soon. Because I will come back here tomorrow (or soon) and write here in this blog some more (or soon).

#Noonebelieves.

back with more wapier writ.

1. I feel better, so I’m going to write a long post about some serious stuff soon.
2. I am tired of worrying about everything I always worry worry worry about, but most especially about grammar, autocorrect, and my #alasicannotspell-laden brain. This is a problem for another generation of rodents. But I always post something on some posty-place and think “AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHGIDIDSIDFLDSJGAKDKHGAD!!!” and just KNOW I looked like a wrong-its-using idiot-o-tron. What can be done about these horrid matters in a Time of Tiny-assed Keyboards?
3. I don’t even know what I say half the time anymore. but it seems I cannot be stopped sometimes. I consider that I fret about fat thumbs more than a shapely derrière a bit of a win though.
4. I will not post another thing about my dental hygiene.
5. You are now caught in a wormhole.

swish

1. Hello.
2. I’m doing some things. I thought it was important to tell you people that.
3. I was going to leave a jaunty haiku here, but that’s not the point of these things. I’m feeling rather despairing and cynical about it all so I’m not on the positive path. I’ll kick out soon. I think.
4. There’s a good reason I’m cerebral. It’s cold outside.
5. My cat’s gotten pretty damn needy. I get it.
6. I cracked my iPad. First World Problems. It isn’t really all that bad, and my own damn fault I’m clumsy and didn’t realize that if you continue to walk around with your fragile electronics exposed in a hardwood floor house – ‘tragedy’ will ensue. No one will feel sorry for you then, because who cares about your iPad?
7. I want to say “I have a really cool plan,” but am afraid I’ll jinx it.

If I stop now, maybe I’ll get lucky.

top secret bat guano

1. Greetings. I am sorry I do not ka-blog much anymore.
2. I do post things on the Networks of Social Importance. It is gratifying somewhat. But then my blog kicks sad sand along the pouty beach. Wah.
3. I have 6% battery on this phone.
4. I made it through 3 (in actuality, that’s 4) rounds of the Nur Ein song contest (which is linked on the side there) while all weird and depressed. I’m pretty stoked about this, because for the past four months I have had the mental clarity of bat guano. You can grow vegetables in it, but it does not produce symphonies, albums, or Great Novels.
5. I started going for walks and making routines and steadily working on Top Secret Projects that will Amaze and Delight. Really, they are not secret, they are more just hard to explain at the moment.

My battery power growls at me. I blame stupid Candy Crush and will tag tomorrow. Don’t judge.