a tiny list

1. I’ve been doing this thing where I completely overhaul my poetry because I’m not sure who I Am. I’m just going with it. It’s because I’m real artistic.
 

EXAMPLE:


My enigmatic poems lurch nauseatingly forth, adverb laden, pretentious, pregnant with pregnancy
like barbecue sauce across the surface of The Lord’s good tablecloth
utterly Not Doing it For Precisely
Anyone at All…

2. I drink too much lately, I’m just going to admit that. MEASURES are in place. I’m WAY to old to start over-drinking in my 40s. That is NOT the way to have a mid life crisis. I need a convertible, or an exotic lover who smells like spice market and wears a caftan and Mysterious Sunglasses and also has 3 Swiss Bank accounts in his disposal and a private plane. I’m naming him Thor. Because that’s way reasonable to think ‘I’ve done MY damn time! I should get a THOR!’

3. It’s not apropriate or Right to own A Thor in these judgy and unfriendly times, so I require a droid. Just think … A droid with a minibar and other special amanatees. #counterproductive

4. I think I’m not blogging as much because of my Attitide Problem. There’s no vaccination for an attitude problem so no one is immune, they still run rampant and are the leading cause of unnecessary depth.

5. I think one of my secret internet identities might be a Sociopath, but I’m not sure. She shows no remorse and just does as she likes. she also doesn’t care if I floss, and this has been the problem ALL ALONG with the obsession with dental hygiene in this blog. 

6. I’d tell you more about the state of My Bod, but that’s a slippery slope (not literally).

7. THIS JUST IN. There is now a #7 here, because there used to be 2 #5s (on accident) and one was not formatted correctly. So this is a bonus. I still am going to be eating cheese, for now.

a tiny list

scary-pants gnomes

Here is a post I wrote in the middle of the night upon my phone and I guess I thought ‘I should not upload this because I am asleep.’ I am glad that Sleepy Denise has some discretion. This is a Good Sign. I shall upload it now because Awake Me thinks differently and is amused. Also, here is a photo because my blog looks like mashed potatoes lately. It’s another frickkin gnome, I realize … a gnome in the snow from long ago … but I’m thinking that perhaps it might help me think of a Scary Song if I finish all my chores. I have not written a song at all in MANY MOONS since BatP finished L’Occitaine and so Fruuuuugh.

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1. am up in middle of night. Can form basic cave person sentences. Me apple, you bacon. We llama, you garden hose. Don’t order the artisan grits. Meow.
2. that didn’t mean anything.
3. I had a dream earlier tonight about 2 of my old friends arguing with me in a speedboat about the Internet and music and writing. I think it’s a sign. These were people from long ago, or from more pivotal times of ME when different decisions should have been made. And I know that the me I am now, inside, is a different me than the one people might assume they are dealing with.
4. I know that this is about me, getting my work done. I know I need to protect my own flow. I’ll work on this.

I have no idea what I was talking about.
Signed,
the Me of Today

ps. scandalous Cherry Pi did participotato with Dr. Lindyke in the first round. I’m not claiming much responsibility for this.

scary-pants gnomes

Day 2.1

1. I said I was going to blog every day. I didn’t. Maybe. I also forgot to eat black eyed peas on the 1st. We ate them on the 2nd in a delicious soup. Maybe I’m just a late person.

2. I still have the coughlings from my flu. It’s also raining. I feel like the character in that Dar Williams song ‘The Blessings,’ I think that’s what it’s called … where it’s raining and she has to move her stuff that night and it’s all dire in the first verse. I ran out of tissues too. Woe is me.

3. My hair itches and my left eye hurts. Clearly I’m a creature of grave pathos. Also the Traveling Minstrels are having their lovely tour through their lunar timeshare. Of course. Why wouldn’t they be? Woo hoo. I do have a gorgeous new toothbrush, but it’s a flu toothbrush so it’ll have to be gotten rid of.

4. I can’t write a poem today for you because I am too boring right now. My brain is a colander and there is just the spinach sitting there. I got nothing.
Here is a picture I took at the doctors long ago in 2014, before Christmas even. Ah…but we were all younger then…..
Here, feast your peepers on the good Old Days!:

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Day 2.1

Part 2 (actually, I did)

Dear Readers,
I am in the middle of writing a blog post about something or other. I wasn’t done with it. WordPress posted it anyway for about five minutes and 1.7 people might have seen it from Twitter or wherever because I’m on my iPad. Sorry about that. What a great start to our year. Perhaps no one is reading this. Perhaps I should go to sleep. These are the kinds of problems that I had long ago, when the diplodoci roamed the internet. I’ve been on here too long for this silliness.
Ack,
me

ps. tomorrow I will take a photo of something. maybe food.

pps. I will also maybe include a poem because a lot of you started following for that and I feel like I am falsely advertising here with my whining about how I do not blog flah flah wah excuse excuse-itty-poo rather than just write-writing away. Perhaps I will write a nice poem about blogging for an audience, like a circus pony. I am not trying to be sarcastic. I think I have a disease right now where everything I say sounds sarcastic, like Sarcasmiosis (which was not a very creative name for that) or maybe we will call it Splarvus Syndrome, for when you are afflicted with the sarcazzies. Anyway, I’ve started blogging another blog right here now during this edit–which I resolved not to do (even though that was Not one of my resolutions (not that I made any)).

Part 2 (actually, I did)

New Year Post

1. Happy ‘New Year Post.’ No one has called their blog post this today.
2. During 2014, I feared blogging because everyone this past year has been so frickkin unique. I sound kind of bitter about that, don’t I? It’s not like I want a clone army. Really. I don’t.
3. If I had a clone army, they would do my bidding. I’m sure that this would not be a unique specification for a clone army.
4. I am not going to tell you any of my resolutions, or whether or not I made any, because such things are pointless. I will remind you that the Girl Scouts will come in February, and that we will be ready for them. We will buy their venomous wares in moderation, and nothing will go awry with any plans we may (or may not) have made.
5. Last year didn’t suck, but it didn’t rule either. I’m not going to make predictions about next year. I’m not making any:
-Predictions
-Promises
-Pastoral Portraits with tiny Piglets
-Plum Puddings
-Puns
6. should all equations be four, quad?
that was horrible.
It is no longer appropriate to write this blog in the Eastern Hemisforest. Or across the sea, or in the sea with the fish. They are probably sleeping.
7. Anyway, I made a list, and I did stuff on it. More tomorrow. No. Really.

New Year Post

Quick Things including my Undone Halloween Pun Costume

1. I said to Titty Bingo on Twitter (they’re a band and everyone with a car or a guitar case has their sticker now. Except me. Why the hell don’t we have several of these? What kind of Austinites are we?!?! Must rectify this immediately.) … anyway, I said to them during Halloweek that I would post a description of my funny Halloween costume and then I forgot to do it. #fail

2. This week, my brother got married, I had two migraines that are not technically migraines, experienced insomnia, and then when I slept had weird audio dreams that intersected with Traveling Minstrels of LadyTown again, if you know what I mean (you do).

3. There’s lots of stuff about white man privilege going around on the web now and I don’t know how I feel about this. I think if we didn’t have discrimination and ugliness in the first place then we wouldn’t have to make sure that one of the kids didn’t get better presents than the other kids who got crappy ones or just didn’t get any at all. But maybe that’s a bad metaphor, because it’s true that people shouldn’t be buying tiny babies jeweled iPads. Or yachts. And I know that as long as there are things like Instagram accounts for the extremely wealthy that there is probably some kind of Classist Problem. I also know that my niece would enjoy a jeweled iPad. For about 7 seconds.

4. I have a new lipstick that is amazeballs, but it feels frivolous to be over-the-damndamn-moon about this.

5. Okay, back on Topic. So I was going to do this thing for Halloween. This is what I told the TittyBingovians I was going to write about.

PROCESS
-rent nun costume or steal one from convent.
-wear ribbons and medals and first place and best of show stuff on top of robes and habit.
-also be visibly carrying flask and/or bottles and other drinking paraphernalia.
—-this was all so I can go as

…..The Best Bar Nun. {ROUSING ROUND OF APPLAUSE}

…I still may do this. But now I have to wait until next year. Or at least until Girl Scout Cookie Season. So I can get my clerical discount (that’s not a real Thing).

6. that was a lot to read to get to the costume.

7. I do not have Apology Cookies for anyone reading this. It’s a blog.

Quick Things including my Undone Halloween Pun Costume

news-y news news

1. I feel a little better. I found out some online stations are playing the Psychotics track I sent in for the Texas Honeys thing. So Song Fight strikes again. :) Not too shabby. Maybe we should actually do the freakin’ album one day. I’m not even sure if BatP has a trading card!

2. There is a ‘DJ Ranger Dentrading card at SongFight.

djrdCard
You can get it (if you take a chance and order a partial pack) here.

3. I just bought a festive spring frock online. I don’t know why I felt it was necessary to tell you this. Probably because I haven’t been very Present online, and I feel that cuteness might make this Forgiveable or something. This dress is pretty damn twee. I’m thinking I’ll wear knee socks with it and pretend I’m six. #am40.

4. We’re having hamburgers tonight and it’s a bad idea.

5. We’ve started a new show called Continuum. It’s taking over my life.

6. Part of me thinks I should just quit trying to be a productive human and become a professional Netflix Consumer. Do they make those?

7. I don’t know why I can’t blog consistently like a normal human Bean every day or so. I wait fifty years and then do a billion-blogs-in-one-day. Sigh.

news-y news news