My brain is fried. I feel like lava does when it has broken up with someone. You want to explain but you really can’t go back now, can you?
I have to finish writing a stand up comedy routine, of all things. I do not feel very funny today, or even silly. I open my mouth and this strange whiny noise comes out.
I have not worn makeup in many a moon so I found a mascara-laden portrait of myself which I took in a dressing room.
I like when I practice piano but I will go on and on with that and it’s not really constructive the way I do it, like I’m trying to board an enemy ship.
I’m concerned about my hands because they go numb a lot and I don’t know why. I’m trying not to over-do the elderly schtick.
I do miss working the way I used to and I miss the theater.
I miss doing musical improv. I didn’t think it would happen. Maybe I will do some soon. You can do that over the internet and you can even do it with other people. I just haven’t been wild about trying with anyone in particular–and I know that this is really on me.
I have a person who is annoying and I have complained about this person before. Apparently they are on facebook again, taking credit where credit is don’t. This should be like that Far Side cartoon. Like acid off a duck’s back?
I have been way too caught up in old mentalities. There are so many of them to choose from. They make me dusty and unfunny. I do not think to speak in funny accents and it wouldn’t occur to me to put on a jaunty hat. I wrote about important things before but I also did so while I was reading far too many news articles. I think coming across as stodgy for the sake of stodge is not very important. No one wants to wade through a lake of word brick. I think I have strong opinions about this.
I sound like an old movie that did not make the list of better podcast options.
I have a new fear of the old vampires. Not the sexy kind either.
If I’m out of the contest that’s all fine. I need to get used to the fact that the thing about a list of things to do is that it has items on it and that one ought to do them.
I’ll just fix my song in a leisurely way and do things that are the most important as the priority. Move toward what will get me paid first. Song contests feel good and you meet deadlines but you are not getting money to do this. Of course, if I did not do all the things that did not give me money, I would die in obscurity and no work would be done at all ever.
have actually been putting things up on the internet more than I used to so there is a small line of credit going into my self-satisfaction pig bank.
I have most assuredly been drinking too much. I am most definitely too old to be doing so. I’ve never even been that much of a drinker. But beer tastes better when you ought to stay home. Hey! That’s on an unlucky number! :O
Gardening is more difficult for some people than for others.
Don’t even ask about dental floss. It’s insane to speak of these matters.
I think this blog right now is meaningless. But I don’t care. I need to start just doing things for myself or I am going to disappear.
1. I was going to write a Facebook note, but decided against it. Remember notes? Notes were cool. I liked notes. I was going to write one and I figured if my Friends got to the bottom of the note, then they will have read the whole thing. I supposed if they got through it without complaining of boredom, then I’d keep writing them. Or maybe I wouldn’t. Who knows.
2. That’s a photo of me in my 20s playing the guitar. Yesterday, it was my birthday. I’m 43 now. Then just right there below is a photo of me now. Pretty freaky!
3. I think perhaps I’m tired or something. I’ve really been dragging lately. I’ve decided to try these goofy new supplements. I’m not going to discuss them with the internet, but we’ll see how they go. I put a LOT of work into researching them and they go really well with all my medicine that I am not admitting to taking or saying that I don’t take either. In fact, this paragraph didn’t even happen. I don’t even exist. Just move on to the next thing.
4. I once described this as the Seinfeld of blogs. When I did this, my husband sent me this link which went into vast details about post-modern thought in comedy and how things had evolved. I was not amused and felt like I was being told that my sense of humor was an asshole and that people ten years younger or so than me were a kinder, more intellectual and evolved species of human. This irked me and made me think that I was being told I was some kind of artistic orangutan. I think that my reticence to make everything I write into some kind of a morality play because I don’t WANT to be that ethically superior person dates me. Or maybe it doesn’t.
5. I have a headache.
6. I’m not making excuses.
7. I need a newer computer. Or maybe I just THINK I do. Maybe I can wait. I haven’t decided yet. I think we just THINK we need new things. Maybe it’s a disease.
8. I don’t understand a lot of what has happened in 2016. But I accidentally wrote a book of pretty substantial essays. I don’t want to talk much more about it for fear that I will jinx it though.
9. Why do I want a smart watch? Why? I know I don’t need one. Next I’ll want a chip in my brain, or a flying car. Sigh …..
10. I had coffee too late in the day again. Also, I think my older notes were more intellectual. But I could be wrong about that.
11.There’s no rule saying that items must make sense or that I have to stop at ten.
12. I haven’t turned on chat in any of my apps in thousands of years. I don’t want people to get a hold of me. It seems like going voluntarily to the dentist.
13.You can’t stop at 13. It’s bad luck. I have a house ghost. There’s protocols to follow.
14. I’ve been sneezing a lot today. Maybe this is what my headache is. Or maybe it’s something more dastardly.
15. I still like capitalizing nouns sometimes, and there’s nothing anyone can do about my need to do this precious habit-Thing.
1. My legs hurt. Clearly I am too, too old to clean. I need magic Cleaning Creatures. Somebody call Mr. Clean. Does he know them? That bald guy on the cleaning product bottles?
2. I’m not talking about the Brawny guy, they changed him. The Brawny guy used to be hot! Now he is all pudly looking (if you are the Brawny guy and one of My Adoring Public I am so SORRY! Perhaps you took a bad photograph! Or woke up on the wrong side of your blue ox..? It happens to the best of us…)
Anyway, THAT was a sad day for Den in the paper towel aisle!!!
3. I FOUND MONEY!!!!!!! While cleaning!
I’M USING THAT MONEY…
TO PURCHASE TACOS!!!
I also found
a. my baby book
b. poetry (read elsewhere on interwebs in vain attempt not to offend as it is slightly sweary and yet profound and of Artistic Merit)
c. tiny Australian flags
d. wonderful pre-edit lyrics in Hard Copy
e. an elementary school recorder
f. Slipper socks
g. a book of Mad Libs…..
(we’ll be having fun with this later, y’all) 😉
h. embarrassing photos of my old band, Anchorheads
i. tickets to Steamboat where Anchorheads played with people who have actual Music Careers now. Not that I don’t. Or won’t. Or can’t. Any way. I am SURE that these *ahem* GIGGING MUSICIANS are not currently in possession of
j. Aussie Flag Deely-Bobber Antannae with one Flag missing which I bought to surprise husband with for Australia day.
k. Mardi Gras beads which were acquired in a Responsible and Sober fashion. (I am not being Captain Sarcasmo here!!!)
l. Bunny Ears which are fuzzy
m. My SIGG bottle!
n. a weird ass chicken toy which I have already tweeted about
o. several Snooty Soaps
p. Two extremely special CDs
q. A pink guitar pick
r. an entire conga drum
s. a power puff girl sock
t. Pearl S. Buck’s ‘The Good Earth’
u. My Duality237 shirt with circle logo
v. a cow
w. an electric tea kettle
x. angry monster finger puppets which are green and blue, and one little lamb one that is eating grass and is crocheted or something.
y. A complicated boat toy I made from a Kinder Surprise.
z. A box full of WRITING UTENSILS!!!!
We just stopped at the most amazing place. We knew the minute we saw the Elf Shelf that it was special. Not to mention the moomoo cowcow wind chimes 🙂 Scoreza!!!
But there is always sadness in a palace of earthly delights. When covetousness hits, you must learn to restrain yourself and WALK AWAY!!! No matter HOW BAD you want the cutecute cupcake timer! Do I need anymore crap in my house?! No! No! A thousand times no!!!
So our visit with Travis Norris blessed me (here we are)…
(a photo where I don’t have 80chins, but Mr.Norris is still his photogenic self!)
..and I found a diet flavor of a Mountain Dew Adventure Flavor we’d been discussing over BBQ. It is called an ‘Adventure Flavor’ now because I decided it was 🙂
in conclusion, the consensus on Huey and his News – great band!!!!
We have been cleaning our rooms and packing. Mike found in his room.
– The coolest pen of all time -My watch which has been lost for like THREE YEARS
– the necklace I’m wearing
Another few things
-a postcard of Donald Roller Wilson‘s Mrs. Jenkin’s Late Night Dinner in Her Room Alone (While Out in the Hall Leading to Her Room, Her Small Friends Were Sleeping)
-some lyrics I wrote in 1997 or 1998:
(I’m slightly embarassed, but I’m going to type them anyway…)
Shimmying down the drainpipe
of your consciousness
Slipping out the back window
of your skewed mentality
Licking shrimp sauce from
the fingers of your innocence
This is a song about me
Well I went back down to
high school last night
Remembering that future
trip across the sea
This ain’t Euro Disney,
an opera, or a roller coaster
And I’m only gonna be what I will be
And I don’t give a rat’s ass
about the government
And they return the sentiment to me
They would illuminatti me
And gladly watch me bleed