Spositive Tots

1. I was not ready to look at the Internet this morning. No social media, no messages, no email. I think if I get some more of ME done, I can do this. But not yet.

2. On Tuesday, which is the tomorrow of this week–I have the dentist. Oh yes, you can be sure I will floss today as though I have been flossing all along. But you have all heard this before.

  3. Just listened to the Netflix Ted Talk on Starting a Movement (#dontYOUjudgeMEforcheese) and saw it explained that it is often a brave observer joining in with the Lone Nut with a good idea which starts a Thing. I think my problem has been in a word–disenchantment. I never believe in the godlike qualities of the nuts I come across for long, and prefer to forage for the nuts in my own sack of this delightful metaphor in the grand scheme of the wheel in the land on the time in the ultimate ever cheese (what?)

4. This is why I ate wine and cheese for dinner last night, late. But someday I will have even more nice things through the power of Spositive Tots. 

 

“tater’s gonna” ~d.mcA
 
‘tot mob’ ~d.mcA
  

Advertisements
Spositive Tots

Part 2 (actually, I did)

Dear Readers,
I am in the middle of writing a blog post about something or other. I wasn’t done with it. WordPress posted it anyway for about five minutes and 1.7 people might have seen it from Twitter or wherever because I’m on my iPad. Sorry about that. What a great start to our year. Perhaps no one is reading this. Perhaps I should go to sleep. These are the kinds of problems that I had long ago, when the diplodoci roamed the internet. I’ve been on here too long for this silliness.
Ack,
me

ps. tomorrow I will take a photo of something. maybe food.

pps. I will also maybe include a poem because a lot of you started following for that and I feel like I am falsely advertising here with my whining about how I do not blog flah flah wah excuse excuse-itty-poo rather than just write-writing away. Perhaps I will write a nice poem about blogging for an audience, like a circus pony. I am not trying to be sarcastic. I think I have a disease right now where everything I say sounds sarcastic, like Sarcasmiosis (which was not a very creative name for that) or maybe we will call it Splarvus Syndrome, for when you are afflicted with the sarcazzies. Anyway, I’ve started blogging another blog right here now during this edit–which I resolved not to do (even though that was Not one of my resolutions (not that I made any)).

Part 2 (actually, I did)

Quick Things including my Undone Halloween Pun Costume

1. I said to Titty Bingo on Twitter (they’re a band and everyone with a car or a guitar case has their sticker now. Except me. Why the hell don’t we have several of these? What kind of Austinites are we?!?! Must rectify this immediately.) … anyway, I said to them during Halloweek that I would post a description of my funny Halloween costume and then I forgot to do it. #fail

2. This week, my brother got married, I had two migraines that are not technically migraines, experienced insomnia, and then when I slept had weird audio dreams that intersected with Traveling Minstrels of LadyTown again, if you know what I mean (you do).

3. There’s lots of stuff about white man privilege going around on the web now and I don’t know how I feel about this. I think if we didn’t have discrimination and ugliness in the first place then we wouldn’t have to make sure that one of the kids didn’t get better presents than the other kids who got crappy ones or just didn’t get any at all. But maybe that’s a bad metaphor, because it’s true that people shouldn’t be buying tiny babies jeweled iPads. Or yachts. And I know that as long as there are things like Instagram accounts for the extremely wealthy that there is probably some kind of Classist Problem. I also know that my niece would enjoy a jeweled iPad. For about 7 seconds.

4. I have a new lipstick that is amazeballs, but it feels frivolous to be over-the-damndamn-moon about this.

5. Okay, back on Topic. So I was going to do this thing for Halloween. This is what I told the TittyBingovians I was going to write about.

PROCESS
-rent nun costume or steal one from convent.
-wear ribbons and medals and first place and best of show stuff on top of robes and habit.
-also be visibly carrying flask and/or bottles and other drinking paraphernalia.
—-this was all so I can go as

…..The Best Bar Nun. {ROUSING ROUND OF APPLAUSE}

…I still may do this. But now I have to wait until next year. Or at least until Girl Scout Cookie Season. So I can get my clerical discount (that’s not a real Thing).

6. that was a lot to read to get to the costume.

7. I do not have Apology Cookies for anyone reading this. It’s a blog.

Quick Things including my Undone Halloween Pun Costume

affection’s object

Photo on 9-5-14 at 3.18 PM
you don’t have to reject that man
to his face…
your fingertip will do.

you can slowly meet him screen-to-eye
and imagine how it all will play out.
you can scan his background without bothering
to buy the box of wine you would have needed in three months to dissect the
disgusting details of the night he suddenly stopped calling.

you can tell by his kitchen cabinets,
he would have taken approximately
six-to-eight months to betray you
utterly and completely.

or you can tell by this one’s shirt-tail
you would have never spoken on the phone
the sexual, dragon-fire spark would have dwindled out to the inevitable flop–
a slithery maze of texts, a relationship which eats its own tail.

But you can decide, preemptively,
NOT to eat your words
NOT to gain the weight …
NOT to buy The Ice Cream of Defeat,
The Tortellini Pesto of Shame,
The Pinot Grigio of Disillusionment.

you can simply drag your smooth fingertip
(or new, pink stylus—should you not want to sully hands in
this process!) across your tool–
the smartest of phones!
quickly, you may expediently hiss “nexxxxt!” in a self-satisfied stage whisper.

Then off he slides to the left!
And up pops the next item to be scanned in the
express lane of risk-free romantic expediency.

affection’s object

boring backyard haiku

I have decided to please your eyeballs by finishing off my blog-ventures and showing you five haiku based upon what I can see out here in front of me

***********************

FIVE TIME WASTING LITTLE SNIPPETS

chronicled too much
still they don’t do anything
my lazy lawn gnomes

image

if my crocs offend
maybe just get over it
and all is mended!

 

husband washes snapware
left in trunk of car for years
smells UN-delightful

 

HINT: apparently
the trick is to WATER plants
then they do not die.

this is a haiku
that is about these haiku
dude. i’m so meta.

boring backyard haiku