scary-pants gnomes

Here is a post I wrote in the middle of the night upon my phone and I guess I thought ‘I should not upload this because I am asleep.’ I am glad that Sleepy Denise has some discretion. This is a Good Sign. I shall upload it now because Awake Me thinks differently and is amused. Also, here is a photo because my blog looks like mashed potatoes lately. It’s another frickkin gnome, I realize … a gnome in the snow from long ago … but I’m thinking that perhaps it might help me think of a Scary Song if I finish all my chores. I have not written a song at all in MANY MOONS since BatP finished L’Occitaine and so Fruuuuugh.


1. am up in middle of night. Can form basic cave person sentences. Me apple, you bacon. We llama, you garden hose. Don’t order the artisan grits. Meow.
2. that didn’t mean anything.
3. I had a dream earlier tonight about 2 of my old friends arguing with me in a speedboat about the Internet and music and writing. I think it’s a sign. These were people from long ago, or from more pivotal times of ME when different decisions should have been made. And I know that the me I am now, inside, is a different me than the one people might assume they are dealing with.
4. I know that this is about me, getting my work done. I know I need to protect my own flow. I’ll work on this.

I have no idea what I was talking about.
the Me of Today

ps. scandalous Cherry Pi did participotato with Dr. Lindyke in the first round. I’m not claiming much responsibility for this.

scary-pants gnomes

boring backyard haiku

I have decided to please your eyeballs by finishing off my blog-ventures and showing you five haiku based upon what I can see out here in front of me



chronicled too much
still they don’t do anything
my lazy lawn gnomes


if my crocs offend
maybe just get over it
and all is mended!


husband washes snapware
left in trunk of car for years
smells UN-delightful


HINT: apparently
the trick is to WATER plants
then they do not die.

this is a haiku
that is about these haiku
dude. i’m so meta.

boring backyard haiku

Gnome more Mondays


It’s getting summery. We skipped spring, I think.

I was going to not do a list, but I’m fooling no one.

Ah, April.

1. My Dropbox upload thingy on my iPhone is slow.
2. I clearly have nothing to blog about.
3. This week’s round one entry is approximately two-ish minutes and has already been judged too soft.
4. I think I might record next week’s on my iPhone because my DAW is betraying me with clicks, pops, unexplainable and unwarranted latency issues, and empty promises.
5. I’m starting to think “what’s it all for?” I blame Moon Stations. Which is not what I really mean but is a clever euphoniumism.

Gnome more Mondays

my exciting headache and other Boring Information.

1. I’m reading old entries in this blog. They are trying to amuse me and make me laugh and I’m thinking “not now, blog! I have a headache.”
2. I actually do have a headache, so that was not just said for Comedic Effect.
3. At my new house with Magical Flooring, I have a birdybath with sillyfrogs in it in my backyard.
4. Porch Kitty likes the back porch a lot and has not begun festooning the place with Poo.
5. I do not know why I felt it was necess-a-squarey to capitol-ize ‘poo.’
6. We have placed our gnomes.
7. I’m feeling sick today, but this is not really Breaking News because there is always SOMETHING a-foot in Dees-ville.
8. I am too lazy to rave about Blogathon, my website development, or the Texas Honeys thing today (my husband knew when it was coming out and I didn’t!) – but I’ll talk more about it soon, SOON. Today I wanted to make lists and whine about the dull Throbbing ACHE that is my headache. This is my BLOG. Why do I have to promote myself all the time, I ask you? Can’t a body just sit here and WHINE? Can’t I complain? I think I should be able to whinge and MOAN!!!
9. Okay, that’s done. Promise. Damn, I need a massage.
10. The husband is getting his American citizenship tomorrow. Yes, he still gets to be an Australian. Yes, he had to take a test, so he now knows more about our government and history than ALL other Americans combined. I’m so proud.

my exciting headache and other Boring Information.

Static Cling

I’m gearing up for something so I thought I’d just get organized and write something now. Maybe I’ll stick this on the internet and maybe I won’t. I’m getting pretty sick of myself, that’s for sure. Something has changed inside me, that’s for sure.

I am a person who likes to hide and likes things quietly to be loud. I like to hide in the chaos of things. It helps me to decide on courses of action so slowly that they don’t really feel like firm decisions at all. But I don’t really DO a thing until I have made a committment. Not until a proclamation has been made. I wasn’t married until I GOT married. I don’t go on a trip until I get in the car and back out of the driveway, or wheels lift into the plane, or the boat pulls away from the dock. I’m not out of the audience and performing and seperate from one world into the next until the chords have ushered me into the song and I’ve started to sing. And even then, during all of these seemingly permanent things, I am negotiating escape strategies. Maybe except for the last scenario. I am pretty impervious to sabotage-y thought in performance. Maybe because I don’t get traditional performance anxiety.

I think I’ve been dragging my feet on some of my projects that need doing because I am scared of the next phase of things. This has happened before in my artistic development. I think I am scared of striking out and I am afraid of change. I think that my next bit of change is going to involve being more improvisatory and it’s going to involve being more of an individual. I think that I am scared to really OWN it.

I think that I am in that “waiting for something” phase of rest and that is never a healthy place for me. There is too much time to think. Too much time to think is NEVER a good thing for me. This is why lists (and I don’t mean my bloggity type), are so very important to me.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I don’t like little sayings like these. But there is a reason that things become rote. It’s because there is a certain truth to them. I am an easy believer of things that feel good, and I want things to turn out for the best. I will run from a challenge and an oppurtunity for growth because I don’t want to hurt. But at some point, I will suck it up, and go back to the climbing wall. I’ll see a sitch for what it is. I’ll slap myself across the face. And I’ll climb up and over and onto the next thing.

Because I’ve been sitting inside my house for too long and staring out the window thinking destiny is coming for me. It’s not. I have to go out and make destiny. And I have to stay on my toes. Because eventually, every single thing I do gets old and loses its effectiveness. Every video, every photo, every song, every lyric, every blog, every poem, every piece of me. This is the nature of things, if you choose the internet.

This is why if you don’t take time for yourself, you become that reactionary soulless blob that lately, I’ve started to recognize in the mirror. And there’s nothing less sexy than the desperate.

Maybe it’s just over-stimulation. Both in real-time and imaginary. Something to think about as I sit here staring at my gnomes and my monkey. Yeah. I have a monkey. He’s chubby and grey and lives on my table.

Maybe if I finish compiling NaNoWriMo I’ll get another gnome.

Static Cling