1. My sleep cycles are shark attack-whack.
2. I am having dreams about laundry. Whats wrong with me?
3. I’M WRITING NON-CONTEST SONGS! JUST ‘BECAUSE.’
AND PERFECTING THEM and PRACTICING. I WROTE THIS in CAPS BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT. Am BEHAVING like a PROFESSIONAL. ZOOOP!
4. I have a pervasive headache but have gotten rid of the bad habit of using Lowercased “i” to refer to my Bad Self. Schwing.
5. No, not a “headache.”
6. I want some coffee.
7. The laundry I dreamed of was still wet from the washer and boring. It was in Australia (not boring) and my mother-in-law wanted us to take it to my sister-in-law’s house so we could hang it up on a clothesline for all to see it a’flapping in the breeze all Continental Style and stuff. Because it’s fine to just let your undies fly in Alternative Laundry Cultures. Furrrf. #underworldproblemsthatAreNotReallyproblems
8. There was a jaunty trumpet solo in my dream, but this is not really relevant.
9. I want more chocolate, but my rear end grows ample.
10. A Loving Friend who I go WAY BACK with gave us tickets to see Neil Gaiman tonight. I’ll write about this on the internet later like someone who is culturally observant. SERIOUSLY.
11. I have stuff to say about dental hygiene, but it’s a REALLY HARROWING TALE involving Irresponsible Pinterest Usage, a nasty chemical burn, an only slightly kerfliffly immune system, an actual trip to the dentist, non-denominational and playful supplications to an undefined household faerie of Tooth Care/Antiinflamatories/Antibiotics, HARD CORE Mouthwashes made by Advanced Industry, and a comfy sweater. I think I’ve said enough.
12. Another friend got me lipsticks for my birthday that were sent in a package. One of the VERY NICE (YSL!) lipsticks is in a flash and grown-up shade I have nicknamed “FBI Agent Red.” I’d look pretty fetch in an Agent Scully get up about 20 pounds ago sporting this shade before I cheese popcorned it all off of my greedy little gummer. The glosses are nice and class-act too. I might wear one to the show tonight, with my green skirt and a top appropriate to my advancing age. Earrings too. Why not go for broke? It’s almost my birthday and I should seize this golden age.
Winter is coming, my gremlin comrades.