Quick Things including my Undone Halloween Pun Costume

1. I said to Titty Bingo on Twitter (they’re a band and everyone with a car or a guitar case has their sticker now. Except me. Why the hell don’t we have several of these? What kind of Austinites are we?!?! Must rectify this immediately.) … anyway, I said to them during Halloweek that I would post a description of my funny Halloween costume and then I forgot to do it. #fail

2. This week, my brother got married, I had two migraines that are not technically migraines, experienced insomnia, and then when I slept had weird audio dreams that intersected with Traveling Minstrels of LadyTown again, if you know what I mean (you do).

3. There’s lots of stuff about white man privilege going around on the web now and I don’t know how I feel about this. I think if we didn’t have discrimination and ugliness in the first place then we wouldn’t have to make sure that one of the kids didn’t get better presents than the other kids who got crappy ones or just didn’t get any at all. But maybe that’s a bad metaphor, because it’s true that people shouldn’t be buying tiny babies jeweled iPads. Or yachts. And I know that as long as there are things like Instagram accounts for the extremely wealthy that there is probably some kind of Classist Problem. I also know that my niece would enjoy a jeweled iPad. For about 7 seconds.

4. I have a new lipstick that is amazeballs, but it feels frivolous to be over-the-damndamn-moon about this.

5. Okay, back on Topic. So I was going to do this thing for Halloween. This is what I told the TittyBingovians I was going to write about.

PROCESS
-rent nun costume or steal one from convent.
-wear ribbons and medals and first place and best of show stuff on top of robes and habit.
-also be visibly carrying flask and/or bottles and other drinking paraphernalia.
—-this was all so I can go as

…..The Best Bar Nun. {ROUSING ROUND OF APPLAUSE}

…I still may do this. But now I have to wait until next year. Or at least until Girl Scout Cookie Season. So I can get my clerical discount (that’s not a real Thing).

6. that was a lot to read to get to the costume.

7. I do not have Apology Cookies for anyone reading this. It’s a blog.

news-y news news

1. I feel a little better. I found out some online stations are playing the Psychotics track I sent in for the Texas Honeys thing. So Song Fight strikes again. 🙂 Not too shabby. Maybe we should actually do the freakin’ album one day. I’m not even sure if BatP has a trading card!

2. There is a ‘DJ Ranger Dentrading card at SongFight.

djrdCard
You can get it (if you take a chance and order a partial pack) here.

3. I just bought a festive spring frock online. I don’t know why I felt it was necessary to tell you this. Probably because I haven’t been very Present online, and I feel that cuteness might make this Forgiveable or something. This dress is pretty damn twee. I’m thinking I’ll wear knee socks with it and pretend I’m six. #am40.

4. We’re having hamburgers tonight and it’s a bad idea.

5. We’ve started a new show called Continuum. It’s taking over my life.

6. Part of me thinks I should just quit trying to be a productive human and become a professional Netflix Consumer. Do they make those?

7. I don’t know why I can’t blog consistently like a normal human Bean every day or so. I wait fifty years and then do a billion-blogs-in-one-day. Sigh.

grumpholio

1. Results came out for Spintunes final. There was no way to predict that outcome. Can’t help but feel responsible for the “fails” (score-wise … the songs were great!) of my folks a bit, as everything I have touched in the last few years of contests I’ve participated in that has not been helped by a Psychotics intervention has died … as if I have bad contest-karma. Don’t know if I’ll do Nur Ein.
2. I won’t tell husband that. He’ll roll his eyes.
3. Am reworking the Hudson and Day Rd 1 entry for this go, and then will go back and do our first ever Rd 1 entry. Then I’ll get Alyssa to send another vox for ’97 and redo my drum part for the Takethisjobandshoveitsong.
4. Everyone liked the cheesecake I made. I’m getting fat.
5. I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I dreamed of opera last night. These thoughts are surprisingly unrelated.
6. SXSW is almost over. I have more to say about that kind of thing and about social media and all kinds of things … but don’t know if I will. Yes, that was one of those Uppity Statements. #dramaticsigh
7. I washed my hair but I loathe this conditioner. New hair on the 27th. Try to remain calm.

worst-case-scenario handbook for her – live burial autumn collection

typical of you
the model should last
an hour or two
take deep breaths
don't light a match
yelling will lead to panic
like all futile cries for help.

recycled lids, will have some give
if you feel flex.
she'll make the shirt a shroud
and wind it around the head
like a summer scarf
you'd keep your sunset hair in.

if she sees her space
is ironclad
escape will be
impossible.
don't think about
yourself,
that you could be
the one the villain got away with
just work it.

maybe …
a ring
a key
(a jeweled hip flask!)
Then -
three quick taps
three slower then
and SOS
anything, just hear it!
..and come to damsel distress
maybe listening, maybe there's something to this.
these days maybe with underground reception
send a brief, well thought out text. 
"I'm running out of air lol. send reinforcements"

if the thing is made of pine
kick at the cheapness of it
with stilletto anklet boots
'till the dirt rushes right in
-try to sift-quick to the bottom,
filter it out.
stand up on
what weighed it, silent down
and then climb out
looking worse for wear
like an archeology adventurer
but still like
what the Dead dragged in.

pink

If you look to the side of my blog (if you are on my blog and not reading this on some other sort of thing), you can see that I have Fetching Pink Hair. This makes me Happy. 🙂

I am having some snickky health problems that are making me Un-Happy. Ever since my concerning health problems of 2008, and then again the ones that I had over the last 2-3 years, I have assumed that every time I get a Weird Body Twinge – this time it is The Cancer. I am certain I will only dodge the bullet for so long and that soon my number will be up despite a fortune teller assuring me that I will be an old woman and also I am superstitious.

Photo on 2013-05-31 at 15.52

It has turned out to NOT be a huge problem it is a combination of Stress and Aging. I think that perhaps I am not really aging gracefully but am being dragged into my 40s kicking and screaming like a 6-year-old. This is not very seemly or dignified and I am going to try to do better and not holler and Carry On Cranky in the restaurant of life about not liking the Adult Menu of Destiny and that I would rather have the mac and cheese and Menu Crayons and also I don’t have to do what you say, Mr. Poopy Pants! So There, Underwear!

So when I get all wound up in this way I get all shrill and impossible to live with and I slurk around getting nothing done but worrying and obsession. This is unfortunate, because I just cowrote a cool song about a bounty hunter that is up at songfight by Billy and the Psychotics and you should go listen to the fight and vote for it and other good ones if you feel so inclined-plane. Even now, I am trying to review it today but I have gotten only halfway through them because when I write reviews of anything my documents are encyclopedias of aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……

I have the relatively new iPhone (pictured) but have not turned on SIRI because I feel that she is creepy. Also, I have a sandwich that would like to be eaten. I know. It told me. Sandwiches are smart.

I Do Indeed Exist, and have Not Fallen off the Face of the Earth

1. I haven’t posted in a while, and I need to. You don’t become Invisible unless you stop wearing clothes…
…wait a second… THAT’S not what I meant!!!
2. let’s try that again. This is a family blog. Yeah. I’m serious.
3. I’m drinking TopoChico out of a tiny, tiny bottle and am going to my writers thing tonight. Tomorrow I am going to visit some friends and that’s exciting. If this update is boring your previously bouncy hair into a state of limp lifelessness, I’m very sorry. Perhaps you need more exciting shampoo. It’s not up to me to make your existence bounce like a 1980s Prell commercial with my Blog’s Funny Wit. You won’t find that kinda consistency here, kids.
4. Something happened over the weekend. It’s a serious thing. I may talk more about it if I can find the appropriate time or words to do so. I am sorry to be so cryptic. Things are also happening to me personally, and have been for quite a while. They go back for perhaps years. At some point, I will take stock, and then perhaps since I started out talking about myself in this Bloggar-ly way, I will return to that. I’d stopped doing it because I’d grown increasingly private. Maybe it’s time to become more like myself again. There’s nothing wrong with that. Damn I’m mysterious. If I could sew, I would certainly make myself a cape.
4. Mike is making some potato-pork chop thing. It smells good. I don’t feel hungry but much as the heart changes the mind of her mercurial sister, the brain; a nose changes the mind of its fickle brother, the stomach. Pronouns are not set in stone here, your milage may vary. I know better than to burst with pride at that metaphor, but I’m trying, people.
5. I painted my nails and toenails recently and they look fanTASTIC. They are blue sparkly and the toenails I did weird pink and blue and green with polka dots like fun ice-creamy colors and I look like it’s time to have a fun party. All I need is icing, a crossbow, and a reason.

Poetry will be posted later, and possibly some pictures. For now, I just thought I’d write.

Slippage-B-Gone

1. this morning I am wearing Charming Pyjammas (A word I refuse to argue with the Spelling Faeries over). I took a photo, for your perusal.
2. my brainstormy list of things to do is disorganized and frightening and it’s really no wonder I sit around drooling a lot.
3. New hair tomorrow! No idea what color I will be… 🙂
4. It is time for Autocorrect and me to have a STERN set of HARSH WORDS about It PREEMPTING everything I say-dammit. I clearly look Silly and Incomp-a-toad. And I donut like this. Not one tiny bait.
5. My friend that does my hair thinks my music is great but that I’m a Writer, really. It’s a good time for a hair appointment…
6. Billy and the Psychotics got reviewed at Song Fight by Jim of Seattle. If you don’t know what this means I shall just tell you that it was really cool and told me a lot, some of which I already knew. I got some ideas on how to solve The Problem (Me vs. Consistently Writing a Melody/Hook). Solving the problem is HARD. I did better this week (we’re active at songfight.org); also managing to pull off not sounding like the Mucinex Faerie.
7. My piano is tuned!!! YAY!!! I had something bloggy to say about Mr. Nick Litterski, whose name is Difficult to Spell; and I think it had something to do with his fixing of the sustain pedal and all the hilarious innuendo one can gather when you are using exciting and inventive techniques to make sure one does not suffer from continued pin slippage which affects the sustain pedal’s ability to perform. The proffered solution indeed rose to the occasion; my pedal is working smoothly thus far, and I am acting like a real tool right now in this blog. I think I even said “that’s what she said” before “I am totally blogging this!” Anyway, back in six months to check for the tightness of tuning pegs. I’m totally in the wrong field. Or maybe not, as I am both a lyricist, and a cad. 🙂

20121102-105345.jpg

spring cleaning

1. The mountain laurels are ridiculous and amazing and I miss my mom.
2. There have been no bluebonnet sightings yet, and part of me is thinking………..
3. …spring cleaning! There’s no place for spring like Texas. No one hears about this because every summer the blistering A$$DUMB temperatures no one but a southerner or a Hadean can really “get;” these Highs wipe the memory of our golden months away. Everything parches and dies and then they make rules about water.
4. In nice news, pretty news, in Spring you sometimes still need a sweater or even sleeves while the beautiful flowers are out. There is nothing more gorgeous than a sundress and sneakers and a little sweater. Yeah, I like hyperbole.
5. There is nothing more satisfying than a clean room and a clean slate and memories that aren’t going away being put away anyway; and realities that are not going away being told that they will go here or there but no.. further.
6. there are beautiful pictures of simple spaces all over the Internet and I know that I can make something healing for myself that I have needed for more than a year now. I have imagined my house in my brain; and if I am the type of person who can fit in a backpack happily like a silly bunny, then I can surely make a little den for myself in my own real home that is actually mine for sure and not wander all freaky like a nomad inside my mental space.
7. It doesn’t matter what kind of energy surrounds me or what other people are doing. It doesn’t matter who-thinks-what of me or where I came from. Now is the time. I have few obligations and few unfinished-businesses lying around. It is all happy work. All other things shall remain undone, because I owe myself that.
8. I am finally waking up, and for the right reasons. But I have been for a while. I am who I am. I am trustworthy and it’s a waste of time to explain twice what I have said once. Anyone who has heard me say the same thing over and over doesn’t quite “get” how privileged they are – but they will. It is time to do the things that I have avoided for so long. To do all I can do and go take all of what I can find for myself. Because I’m too well trained to Slave away for free. Or even, for strange or shaming pay.

Nice Snazzy Blog Post Title

1. My teeth are fuzzy and my brain is flopsy because I fell asleeping in the Granny couch
2. I have a Ferocious headache. It has a persnickety attitude and a foul temper and has sharp, pointy teeth like a deranged walrus. rarrrr.
3. So, two years ago was the Song Fu release of ‘Something Very Horrible (Bluebeard’s Lament)‘ This was probably the birth of Duality237 – a project with Joe “Covenant” Lamb which made a lot of really pretty songs. When I realized that today because I pay attention to silly things like when I put which songs out and when certain Song Characters and Internet Personalities and Identities of mine have birthdays well … I felt old.
4. When I go to bed, I am not checking for gray hairs.
5. How do we spell gray anyway? Is it ‘gray’ or ‘grey?’ Do we get to pick? Is it the one choice that we actually HAVE in the English language?
6. Facebook keeps crashing, so I cannot “like” anything at all… Boo to this. Boo. Here is a tiny list of things that I would “like”
-My friend Manhattan Glutton won this week’s Song Fight. Yes we took a photo in New York drinking Manhattans. We look silly.
-My new hilarious friend from someplace in the middle of England is writing a Soap Operatic Fish Saga. It will continue tomorrow. Right now there has been a dastardly deed done. I would love to share and link the fishsticks out of this somehow. It is not yet Available to the Public, no, but only to the trusted Few. I will Tell the minute it is on the shelves for consumption.
-oh. apparently I am allowed to “likepianoteq. This confirms and validates my choice that the piano I made for An Extremely Late project I am Woefully behind on needs to just be done with and I don’t need to redo it.
7. Why would the cat scratch the sofa RIGHT in front of me as if I don’t know what’s going on?!? I wasn’t born yesterday!!
8. In conclusion, this is a picture of the Fun Snake Shoes, one of which broke under the sheer tension of its awesomeness. I took it in the old house. I need to get them fixed so I can try to break my neck again. Why yes, I am aware that these are the most frivolous shoes in the galaxy. No, my blogtatistic friendstrels, I do not feel inclined to care if I have a predilection for Silly Footwear!
9. I went out for dinner with my Dad at the Grove tonight (well, last night). That was nice. We had wine and cheese and tiny sandwiches. I am behind on like three food reviews. This is difficult because I don’t necesscelery want this to become a Food Blog. But if that’s what happens oh whale, right?
10. Good Greasy Griefazoids I’m sleepsy. This is probably because it is Bologna O’Clock in the morning. Zounds. Ack. flib. Monge. Flarg.
11. I totally had to add a number eleven to this blog post, and a title before that. My cut and paste left out half the entry, including the picture. But I think it looks nicer with this litte disclamatory on the end, don’t you?

Head Messy

1. throat hurts
2. head hurts
3. eyes stingy
4. My Hand? … I’m just relieved to have two functioning ones..
5. I am a little tired of having this same nightmare over and over again
6. this time my legs ached when I woke up, and my foot burned. This is because in my dream it got bit off by some fish or something. Or just.. Something random happened and I was meant to just start bumping into stuff while drowning in the dark at night this time; having random body parts grazed or bitten off.
7. The ship was so much closer now but I can’t look at it. It’s some kind of beautiful fancy dress party.

I realize I was still wearing one shoe and a vest and a white sundress and that I have lost my necklaces and looking down to check for my watch and bracelets… my entire left hand is bitten away as well.

I think I woke up then. Losing hands is too much for my brain. I could lose anything but a hand, I think. That probably sounds selfish. I ran into a guy without a hand at the taco place the other day. I always want to throw up when I see something like that, which makes me feel guilty because I am projecting myself all over them. They are human, and coping with a trait..a body fact – just like I would.

I only *think* I would die. I only *think* I would stop breathing.

I do wonder if I would waste away a little bit though. It’s a scary thought and I’m going back to sleep.
Sheesh..