B.R.A.T.ty Post

I’m sick. The kind of sick we don’t discuss in polite company. So I won’t. I’ve smelled nicer though. &-You’ve all heard it before, but my breath could improve. I have been showering often. I don’t know why I pop on here to tell other people’s phones, tablets, and screens about my level of hygiene. Does this fulfill anyone?

I suppose when I said I wouldn’t discuss being sick, I was Politely Lying. I was saying “oh, you shouldn’t have,” when quite clearly you should–so quite certainly I will. Tastefully, but mournfully, I’ll share with everyone my short list of Woes:

1. Bananas
2. My husband requested a joke here, but I felt it was in poor taste. So all I will say is I advanced several levels in many tiny games and I dont like Sudoku as much as I once did. 
3. Rice.
4. some really DIRE and cryptic texting about what I’m going through with some exceptionally feelingful emojis that got pretty damn insightful but oh yes, I will spare you my tender audience. Plus the death knell of a Medical Call. to my Father, a retired pediatrician–who is just trying to live a life of peace and write a book about how to raise children in a godly fashion. #thestruggleisreal
5. Pudding I found out from him I should not have consumed which contained Regretted dairy. I know because I assembled it from a pudding powder package from scratch.
6. excessively comfortable pants and a percussive headache somehow connected to my digestive processes.

Uh oh ….. NUMBER SEVVVVVENNNNN: 
THIS JUST IN!!


husband went to the Houston Texans game (sorry, luv) and BEL BIV DEVOE did the halftime show and he did not get ONE SECOND of video clip!! 🙀

8. travelling minstrels taking the red-eye to Lovely Austin Bergstrom International Airport #sorry #thestruggleisreal
9. pathetic work sprints in a haze of illness denial.
10. serious bingeFlixing of shows whose plots and cast members I will forever associate with suffering and tiny sips of tea and the aforementioned BRAT diet.
11. A MESSY house that could be worse. This still does not make me want to cross that line where I make the word adult be a verb, but it’s starter-lesquerly.
12. abject misery and a certainty of a very dire future gastronomical outcome indeed.

That’s probably enough, y’all.

ps. Yes, the Texan cheerleaders are wearing jort-overalls over half-shirts. All in white. After Labor Day. 

I have no opinion on these matters. 

‘..If I were you, I’d take precautions.’

  ***********************

photo is:
-the halftime show at the Houston Texans game today featuring the Texan cheerleaders and Bell Biv Devoe doing ‘Poison’ which probably rocked. pic by husband MMcA.

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B.R.A.T.ty Post

Day 2.1

1. I said I was going to blog every day. I didn’t. Maybe. I also forgot to eat black eyed peas on the 1st. We ate them on the 2nd in a delicious soup. Maybe I’m just a late person.

2. I still have the coughlings from my flu. It’s also raining. I feel like the character in that Dar Williams song ‘The Blessings,’ I think that’s what it’s called … where it’s raining and she has to move her stuff that night and it’s all dire in the first verse. I ran out of tissues too. Woe is me.

3. My hair itches and my left eye hurts. Clearly I’m a creature of grave pathos. Also the Traveling Minstrels are having their lovely tour through their lunar timeshare. Of course. Why wouldn’t they be? Woo hoo. I do have a gorgeous new toothbrush, but it’s a flu toothbrush so it’ll have to be gotten rid of.

4. I can’t write a poem today for you because I am too boring right now. My brain is a colander and there is just the spinach sitting there. I got nothing.
Here is a picture I took at the doctors long ago in 2014, before Christmas even. Ah…but we were all younger then…..
Here, feast your peepers on the good Old Days!:

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Day 2.1

quick one.

1. My weight is fluctuating, and I feel like a gas planet. nobody needs this information, but you have it nonetheless.
2. I have leeks I need to cook. They will go in a soup with potatoes that (which?, who?, whom? potato? poTAH-toe?) could be more polite.
3. I’m still feeling bad about beginning the blog in this way. I feel bad about my lack of internet behavior. My life has been pretty awkward lately. But I feel like the internet and I are these old exes that are meeting at a fancy dress party. We have a fairly cordial relationship and have the same mutual friends so we really need to get along. There’s no reason to dislike one another either. But I really don’t like the way he’s been behaving lately and sometimes the way he (my ex, Internet McMashonnaheugh) conducts himself is pretty piss-poor. But all of my friends think he is the bees knees and their relationships with him are really important and they remind me of the great things he and I used to do together when we were good friends and they totally think I should forget the BS that is in the past and stop focusing on the negativity and my tendency to use really, really, really bad ex-boyfriend metaphors. So I’ll do that.
4. Dude I’m like so meta. Also, it’s really charming that I’m being all hipster-y and colloquial all up in this blog. Yo.
5. It’s been agreed that nobody thinks I sound cool or like Mr. T when I talk like this. I don’t even remember Mr. T saying “yo.” I think only pirates said “yo.” I actually looked up Walking the Plank the other day after watching ‘Hook’ and it sounds really screwed up and I don’t know why we celebrate this in our culture like it’s this big party trick. I don’t want cannonballs tied to my ankles so that I can die in the sea. That’s messed up!
6. I need more coffee except I don’t. I’m also noticing I don’t have many new tricks and I really, really, really need to get some. For now yeah … I’ll get my things and go.

I will be back later. I know. Nobody believes. 🙂

quick one.

before the music starts

1. I feel kind of weird today, like it rained in my brain and I have to shake a lot to get the bits of water out. I think bits of my mind are leaking.
2. My breath could improve. Flossing starts up again today.
3. Gah. I know that’s so gross.
4. My phone hates me. I keep dropping it and kicking it across the floor and things like that.
5. I got new Cubase though. I’m playing with that today.
6. I have some writing to do today but I’m all out of fizzy feelings.
7. My hair is haggy.
8. My feet are un-pretty.
9. I’m just a real mess, aren’t I?

before the music starts

Smack to the Future

1. I haven’t been well. I had to go to the hospital last night for chest pains and this was NOT a good time for that because I am in the middle of some C R A Z Y interpersonal crap right now that is dramatic-only-to-me. One of those situations where something is waaaaaay more significant to you (who is me) because inside your (who is my) skull you (etc) are the goddess of your (zzzz) own little universe. Like when The Royal Third-Person-in-this has a crush on a celebrity and sees they died on-screen or they’re having a perfect child with a gorgeous model or something. They Royal Me’s clock is t-i-c-k-i-n-g and so All-of-the-Us-es go home and eat all of the chocolate in the entire univers….

2. ker-SCHMACK! AHEM!

3. well. That was very unhealthy, wasn’t it. Anyway. Femme-femme-la-dramatics wasn’t why I was in the hospital.

4. My breath could really, really improve. I think I should floss more. I have become a really unsexy creature.

5. $hi! don’t judge me! It’s not like I NEVER floss or take showers! GAH! I just need to get my priorities straight. The other evening I noticed that I had a gnat encircling my head, like Pigpen on the Peanuts cartoons. I thought daaaaaamn girl…. you have REALLY let yourself go………. it was like that time in college when I let my trunk rot out because I was depressed and couldn’t be bothered to take whatever died out of it. That, is depression. The inability to lift the fork up to your mouth that has the food on it and starving to death. Everyone calls your Death By Apathy a suicide and doesn’t call it depression and mention starvation. They think how could she!? Didn’t she know people cared?!? What about GOD!?!?!?

6. My chest hurts. Anyway. That’s why I was in the hospital. I thought that I was having a heart attack. I was in a great mood, but I had stayed up all night writing and doing work and was in a good mood and had written emails and hit “send” on the last one I wrote which was nice and then my chest ripped in half. I knew it was not just something dumb so I woke Mike up and said “we need to go now.”

7. I ended up thinking it was something gastronomical but I didn’t want to be the girl who went home after thinking it was just something flurpy and then dies in her sleep. They laughed when I said that. So now I have to go to a cardiologist. I’m one-upping this. I’m going back to martial arts. Because exercise is boring unless it’s hard core(ing).

8. I could really, really, REALLY use a time machine. I think the time machine should go to the person who doesn’t need it though, really. Because I’d probably just screw up again, but in the past.

9. The mosquitoes are out of control. Also I think I avoid things sometimes when I don’t know what to do about stuff.

Smack to the Future

Bed List For a Blog

1. I ate cake. Red velvet. I think I have a carbohydrate intolerance, but I did not finish it {ADDENDUM: the cake. not the carbohydrate indulgence. geez …}
2. I’m changing when I take my pills again in hopes they’ll Work. My sleeping pill which I hardly ever take but need to tonight gives me skunky breath.
3. I think I’ll start feeling more alluring in general in the coming weeks. I’ve been antacid level sexy for months now. this will change and possibly soar up to breath mint sexy, or cream cheese sexy. Maybe fizzy drink sexy. There’s hope there.
4. No more candy crush or that game where the horses fall from the puffy clouds into meat grinders below.
5. More water tomorrow.
6. My new shoes are pleasing me and still feel new.
7. I want to be in a better place. I need more out of life than to float by like this.
8. That baby (my niece) is so cute that dryads are singing songs about her (not the same dryads that sabotaged our Internet at the previous house we lived in).
9. Redirection on my projects tomorrow.
10. This is my official reminder to practice. It’s all about motivation and being motivated helps I think.

Bed List For a Blog

Blogging at the Blogathon

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1. So. I’m here at blogathonatx (blogathonatx.com). I can assure you, I did not literally Blog My Own Face Off. To provide you with too much information, as is my way – I have this weird Thing on my chin and I had to get my father, a Nice Physician, to meet me at his office and he tried to deal with it. So I was late.
2. Honestly, I don’t think providing this information to you is indicitave of Savvy Blogging. The truth is, I am not really a very savvy blogger. Nor do I have a clear cut mission in life. What I do have is a domain and a Vague Plan. At some point, I will get things together. This will happen some time over the rest of the month.
3. How is this different than the rest of the times I have said these Sorts of Things, you may ask? Well, this time, I have a little green feeling. A little green feeling is a little different from the other colors. It’s a center of the rainbow go. It’s proof of progress but an indicator that there’s a lot to do to make headway in the future. It’s light at the end of the tunnel but you can see the trees waving around outside a little more clearly in the sunlight.
4. Do you know what I am talking about? No, you probably don’t. We are at a party and you have excused yourself to get punch even though your glass is full. This is the type of blogathon that this is turning out to be for me. There’s a lot of stimuli in the room and it’s really tempting to write stream-of-consciousness like a confessional. This is something that I used to do WAAAY back in the OlDen Days.
5. Now that I have taken you into the dark, nonsensical tunnel that is my thought-process; you are probably going “huh?” Truthfully, I can’t explain why I am a LOT more disorganized than I have been before. All I can say is that I’m irked that I am further away from the goals I wanted to be closer to; and I have found myself unable to give myself credit for a lot of the milestones I’ve hit. I think I need to do that. Being a Surly Individual is not going to help me find jumper cables for the spaceship – or stop writing extrodinarily bad metaphors … or learn to spell…or looking at people walking by my table with inviting expressions rather than with @suspiciousden in my eyes like they have tried to sell my spleen to circus performers.
6. So, at my dad’s clinic, my father asked me if there had been stink bugs. “Why?” I asked him. Because they hover around your face and put their P R O B I S C U I T S (not how the word is spelled) in it. these are called kissing bugs. There’s more information, like a doctor with a weird name and stuff. I’m going to dinner with him on Tuesday and we’re going to talk about bacteria and vile parasites of the face over a nice meal and then I will know terminology and stuff. I said “can I put you in my blog!?” thinking *people really need to know about this stuff!* and it’s true. I bet if you are reading this, you really want to know about what a lurking stinkbug can do to your face. So let my mistakes be a lesson to YOU.
7. Actually, we just moved. So yet again, I think it’s just hormones. I’m going to the Dude-You-Don’t-Wanna-Hear-About-It-Doctor on Tuesday as well, so I-May-Say-Something-General-And-Seemly about my Well Being, if you like.

This is the worst blog in a while, y’all. Fitting, as I’m having lunch at Blogathon. Flarg.

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