1. I’ve been doing this thing where I completely overhaul my poetry because I’m not sure who I Am. I’m just going with it. It’s because I’m real artistic.
My enigmatic poems lurch nauseatingly forth, adverb laden, pretentious, pregnant with pregnancy
like barbecue sauce across the surface of The Lord’s good tablecloth
utterly Not Doing it For Precisely
Anyone at All…
2. I drink too much lately, I’m just going to admit that. MEASURES are in place. I’m WAY to old to start over-drinking in my 40s. That is NOT the way to have a mid life crisis. I need a convertible, or an exotic lover who smells like spice market and wears a caftan and Mysterious Sunglasses and also has 3 Swiss Bank accounts in his disposal and a private plane. I’m naming him Thor. Because that’s way reasonable to think ‘I’ve done MY damn time! I should get a THOR!’
3. It’s not apropriate or Right to own A Thor in these judgy and unfriendly times, so I require a droid. Just think … A droid with a minibar and other special amanatees. #counterproductive
4. I think I’m not blogging as much because of my Attitide Problem. There’s no vaccination for an attitude problem so no one is immune, they still run rampant and are the leading cause of unnecessary depth.
5. I think one of my secret internet identities might be a Sociopath, but I’m not sure. She shows no remorse and just does as she likes. she also doesn’t care if I floss, and this has been the problem ALL ALONG with the obsession with dental hygiene in this blog.
6. I’d tell you more about the state of My Bod, but that’s a slippery slope (not literally).
7. THIS JUST IN. There is now a #7 here, because there used to be 2 #5s (on accident) and one was not formatted correctly. So this is a bonus. I still am going to be eating cheese, for now.