determining my own cover charge

1. once again, I stayed up all night.
2. I’m at an impasse on my Gift of Music, and I’m meant to go to this open mic thing tomorrow. I’ve got to get this done and I’ve had forever to do it. This is NOT COOL. Ack. It’s just been a damn tough year. But do it I shall. It’s not for lack of plugging away. Ironically, I will go probably back to the first idea I scrapped weeks ago and then shelved for forever after that.
3. The most surprising people pay attention to you when you least expect it; and then people you think would always-always pay attention to you no matter what forever and ever just sometimes … don’t. This has been a real day of that, both for the good and for the bittersweet. For the annoying and for the silly.
4. I am damn tired and need to stop staying up all night. Did I mention that?
5. I have completely redone my blog. This was in a vain effort to get music lodged into my head and ideas flowing. It did NOT work.
6. Also posting about Spintunes didn’t work. Nothing will flow. None of my regular multi-task productivity tricks work. I may read a book tomorrow.
7. It’s a bit frustrating to find piano parts on your computer that are orchestral reductions written for characters that are part of a Live Action Role Playing Adventure-thingy. You know that they are out there somewhere. You feel a bit stalkerish, knowing enough about them and the way they move and (supposedly) think and act during eating and drinking and running and laughing and loving and wanting and being afraid to write what you think there themes would be. And yet you never will know them and you get creepy hide out and try not to seem creepy towards it all…

I always want to blog about this stuff, I never do. I never publish stuff I want to blog about, but I’m starting to do it and interesting things are starting to happen to me because I am Choosing to be brave. I wonder how much more interesting my life will get if I just decide to be brave, and speak from what I know. I already feel more dissatisfied about how things have been. If you refuse to sit there in silence, you think about the things you have been allowing to happen to and around and inside and surrounding you. If they are unacceptable in the least you think … perhaps it’s time for a stop to be put to that, and for me to rewind back to the time when you had to know the password at the door to get into the VIP room that was me. :

I have a lot more to say about this, so I’m not going to say another word about it. I’m going to sleep and then I’m going to get up and work. Last time I talked about my crap to other people they got bored and I agreed with them about all THAT.

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determining my own cover charge

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