what i prepared

1. I feel sick today. I’ve been sick for a while. Then I got better. Then I wasn’t. I think I’m going to get better againishly-soon though. These things come and go. I get weak and think that I can do things that are beyond my abilities. Occasionally I push myself too hard and then I’m Flat Frog for a while. But this is all part of the Exciting Learning Experience.
2. Today I laid around staring into space for an appropriate amount of time. I decided to be kind to myself about that because I had a headache. I wrote lots of lyrics about the blueberry flavored jello in my head. I don’t know if they make that flavor of jello, but if they do there are lyrics about it now. I will move along from that because I do not feel like doing the research.
3. Cleaning is going slowly, but commence it must.
4. I like diet coke a lot right now. Diet Coke and electric guitar have made fall get here really quickly. So quickly it became winter and before I know it, it will be spring. Spring is when the bluebonnets come out and you can’t really beat that for being pretty in Texas πŸ™‚
5. I realize that I have been writing a book for all this time, and that it was SILLY to try to get it done in a November and silly to try to think that I could concentrate on anything else while trying to tell or even live my story. I have been writing so many songs that I cannot keep them organized. I have not stopped to breathe or take stock or even back up much of my work. If something happened to it, or me, I would be so very lost. I say things like this all the time, but really just in a half-hearted “i really should blah-blah” sort of way. I haven’t felt urgent need kick me in the soul-nads.

Until now. I need to get it together. Or I will die.

Luckily, if you practice something – if you work a piece into your hands so much so that it becomes second nature to you; if you are called upon to play it the thing will flow out like part of you. You don’t have to think or dwell if what you practiced so hard is the Thing you are good at. If it’s your thing. So you have to do a thing like that for the love of the sport, so to speak. Because it is your passion, your Fun! The thing that clocks your Soul! I cannot play the piano out of obligation. I just can’t. And I’ve been craving it, but it’s just been too hard because it has made me think too much and I have not been ready to do that. My technique was not at the level where I could afford to drift. I think I’m.. getting… there. Finally. When I need it most. Finding inspiration in the ODDEST, most UNEXPECTED places. Looking back at blogs of years past, wondering what will happen in years future……. It’s the Me that’s in flux. The Me that is moving through these scenes and then I leave them be and hopefully take stuff with me for the next bit..

6. Six seems like a good, sweet number to stop on. Or maybe eight. One, two… skip a few. 99..100! Six plus eight is an Awful number!!! Actually, this is Mostly because I am hungry and I want a sandwich. And to make a website. I have a lot to do because my partner and I are writing our TH#$*TN$# song and when I’m hungry I start patternizing and getting Pi in my EiEiEiEiEiEi. Anyway, about this song, this is a terrible thing so we’re working on two. OMG, it’s not that big a deal! Stop looking at it! ACK! whateverlybrothers! sheesh! Consequently, another one of the things I gotta do is remaster four5ths. This paragraph will now ‘splode.

I want to type more stuff but it is just too karmically dangerous.
Sometimes we wonder why we are crazy, my Identitweens and I.. πŸ™‚

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what i prepared

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