I haven’t had a lot to say for a couple days. I’ve had a lot to process internally. It’s a big week next week and I want to do it right.
It’s really interesting when you’ve been kidding yourself. I really have come to understand the term ‘beating a dead horse’ a LOT in the past few months. Really it’s an embarrassing thing to do, and it makes you tired and sweaty and cry-y.
It’s hard to cry; and to want different people to be there for you than have chosen for yourself. When you’ve grown used to crucial parts of your support system that have collapsed, it’s easy to forget the people who do love you and who are there.
These people are gifts and treasures and make life easy and will ultimately help me succeed. This is really why I’m alive.
Often, people behave exactly as expected. I want to expect better – but they disappoint. But sometimes, a person will rise to the occasion and it will be someone surprising, someone special.
These are helpful days. They help you not to create situations for yourself. They help you break patterns. They help you form new alliances and new beginnings. They help you move on.
To concentrate on the important things…
Most important, they help you stop thinking about all the things you have lost. Which is a real blessing.