Head Messy

1. throat hurts
2. head hurts
3. eyes stingy
4. My Hand? … I’m just relieved to have two functioning ones..
5. I am a little tired of having this same nightmare over and over again
6. this time my legs ached when I woke up, and my foot burned. This is because in my dream it got bit off by some fish or something. Or just.. Something random happened and I was meant to just start bumping into stuff while drowning in the dark at night this time; having random body parts grazed or bitten off.
7. The ship was so much closer now but I can’t look at it. It’s some kind of beautiful fancy dress party.

I realize I was still wearing one shoe and a vest and a white sundress and that I have lost my necklaces and looking down to check for my watch and bracelets… my entire left hand is bitten away as well.

I think I woke up then. Losing hands is too much for my brain. I could lose anything but a hand, I think. That probably sounds selfish. I ran into a guy without a hand at the taco place the other day. I always want to throw up when I see something like that, which makes me feel guilty because I am projecting myself all over them. They are human, and coping with a trait..a body fact – just like I would.

I only *think* I would die. I only *think* I would stop breathing.

I do wonder if I would waste away a little bit though. It’s a scary thought and I’m going back to sleep.

Head Messy

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