I played a gig last night that some friends lined up for me. They have these creatures that are NOT gerbils called degu(s?). I’ll write more about them later, but I watched them later over dinner at their place. They were bathing in the dirt. My cats do this sometimes, but I think this is really a regular necessary thing for them – how they kind of take care of themselves. I was thinking about degu(s?), and this gig I played, and personal conflict, and self care, and dancing, and writing music, and getting organized, and cutting to the chase, and not knowing an outcome of a dearly thought upon Thing… and I thought, ‘is it time for a new list of thinky things?’ I wondered if it was time for some affirmations of some kind. I don’t normally go for staring in the mirror and talking to myself in the traditional manner. I do rehearse scenarios and play out characters. I’m writing stories and pretending I’m someone else. I probably look like a little kid walking around talking to myself.
I don’t know if it really is true, all these things I say below. I seem to be getting by just fine. But I think it would make my life go better to maybe have a few boundaries in place. Who knows these things?
1. The thing about a dialogue is that it takes two to tango, in real life, real issues. Otherwise you are perpetually living in fantasy and playing the other part yourself. And who can guess another’s reality, even if it seems likely and obvious from surface observation that a Thing may be easy to peg?
2. You can yell at a wall until you’re blue in the face, the wall is not going to turn around to show you the pictures hanging on the other side. After you’ve knocked you have to see if the door is going to open. But if there isn’t even a door there to begin with and you’ve been knocking on one of those sides -of-houses made to look door like… well then, you’re wasting your time!!
3. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not because it won’t get you anywhere. No situation is worth the sacrifice of your real-ness. If you are auditioning good behavior for popularity, love, or high regard; you fight a losing battle.
4. Sing with your own voice and not someone else’s that they gave you. Inverse of two; decorate your own walls and let in who deserves to have doors open to them. And those who outstay their welcome………..
5. Do trust the people who have stuck with you at your worst…….
6. expect answers to important questions and expect better from people.
7. Do not tolerate living in confusion, guilt, fear, envy, or unfulfilled longing. Fill with knowledge and purpose.
These things are things I would normally do if I went with my gut. When I do go with my gut I am much happier. And one should really never have to explain their reasons.
Just do what you do unashamedly because it is your nature to do it. Continue to do it and be it – and do and be nothing else. I shall live this way. Foist your will on no one and move peaceably around, doing what is true. Learn from the dirt, I guess. Weird but relaxing.