1. Speak from the heart:
My heart got broken this weekend. That’s a little inappropriate to say, since you are not supposed to get heartbroken when you are married. Rest assured, that’s all fine. Nonetheless, I feel bruised and icky and it’s going to take me a while to swallow my food without taking tiny, tiny bites.
2. Be honest about yourself:
Um……. I like to eat BBQ. Um… but it doesn’t sit well with me. So last night, I..
3. DONT’ Over-share.
Oh. Yeah. Okay.
4. Don’t air your personal business online.
Oh. That. Sorry about number one then. I’m fine. Really. Heh. Totally cool.
5. Don’t be fake.
Oh wait. I’m not fine? My week has not been fine? Uh “zombie apocalypse?” Shasta anyone?
6. Don’t rely on memes to …
STOP! I don’t know how to blog!
7. Bolster your boring lack of content with jaunty photograp..
Ah! This is I can do.. We said a JAUNTY photo …
8. We don’t really want to see that cat right now.
oh yeah… that’s true. we don’t know what’s making the smell.
9. so, about this jaunty photograph..
He made me a business card!
10. are you pretentious now?
you’re just jealous because I use italics and can play the pee-iano.