I felt pissy and invisible this morning. I think this is because I have been too tired to put out videos or complete the majority of work I have been promising – LOTS – of people. This is partially because it has been a million-dy ba-jillion degrees outside. But it’s not now! I just had a rather pleasant day and I spent a lot of it taking breaks outside reading and not feeling responsible for reporting my whereabouts. I practiced as well, a whole lot. This has been my joy!
I think that this practicing will get me back into the groove that I have been complaining that I’ve lost. I am at heart a solitary creature but I haven’t really liked my own company for such a long time – although I have been so desperate to get back into it. But you’d feel the same way I have felt if you used to be able to play like me and then for quite sometime just lost a lot of your smarts… and couldn’t pull off a lot of your good material. It’s really hard to suddenly bore yourself. And then to feel guilty about doing so! Other people have had it SO much worse than me. I never felt like I had the right to complain. But I should have. I should have complained louder and practiced harder. Maybe this all would have been over sooner.
No matter. Regrets are silly.
I am working on a REALLY cool tune that is working out. Maybe the weather is giving me energy. Maybe my body mistakenly thinks that sexy-time is coming because it’s fall. I LOVE fall. Fall is when Denise New Year comes (Oct 1). Fall is when I get better and can wash summer ick and disappointments and bad mood and mistakes away. It’s before winter, where I shudder and moan a lot because the cold is, well – COLD – and I’m a gigantic wuss.
Although, cold is good for marshmallows and cuddling and fire and pie. And baking. And I’m in YAY my kitchen is SO GREAT mode.
By the way, my kitchen is so great I want to start a cooking show.
One thing at a time.
(I would cook with LOTS of butter. Butter rules.
No vegans were harmed during the making of this post and I can use the oil based stuff on a batch. We’re equal opportunity at my house! Thank Moo, said the cow!)