Waiting for Nothing.

1. I’m scared today. today smells bad. like it won’t end well. or start good.
2. I have an uneasy relationship with musicals. I don’t have a “musicals” voice. maybe the whole thing is that I’m really not easy

2. I am thinking of doing songfight. I have a song for it, but I am STILL waffling about it.
3. I’m going to San Antonio again today. My family has been supportive and awesome and wonderful and full of surprises.
4. I’m at another point again where I’m getting REALLY frustrated with online life. Except that it’s REALLY good for keeping in touch with my family and longtime, IRL friends that I’ve known for-forever.
5. I’m not sure where the bottom of the pool is anymore. I think I’m drowning.
6. The music thing is flowing over my head and I’m too short to tread. I need to find a place to stand soon, get my bearings, and figure out a smart plan. Stupidity is what leads to statements like – “this has happened before” and “I should have known better than to” and “but I thought that it was going to be like…”
7. I have been walking around in a daze thinking that everything was okay. Time is passing me by and I have got to act in order to produce reaction. This is a fundamental law. Um… DUH.
8. So Back to the Drawing Board. To finish. I’m going to do some piano working again. And bury myself in piano making until things are done right and proper and until I am satisfied with things. Because I have a feeling that it’s going to be another 2008.

Which was a great year for talent. It’s what got me where I am today. Which is good enough to know I’m better than this thing I am. Which is waiting for nothing to happen to me.

I realize that there were a couple repeated numbers. I do NOT care. ARANKAAHAH!

Waiting for Nothing.

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