1. I am trying to write a post explaining how I feel and am once again revealing too much.
2. I’m not in a bad place. This is a good-feelings post. It sucks a little when you can’t share good-feelings-things because you are a deeply personal alien and you have to wear your armor at all times. The exoskeleton is hard to remove.
3. I am thankful for what I have. My life has not been like this before. I feel that I have reached a place of safety.
4. There are people who try to understand me
5. There are even people who trust me. Even though trusting someone who is a ticking time bomb is a scary thing.
Maybe this is why when I stop and really think about it, every day for me I have a beating pink heart and a thankful red center. Because I feel very loyal and very loved. And if my loved ones don’t feel loved back it’s because I am a crazy person Right Then and have put on a rubber mask with nine eyeballs and hair and worms and I do not look like my Xondorian Self. Perhaps I am hard to see, that day.
But you could read this and it would be true any day.