Just because you’re paranoid / don’t mean @Hodgman’s not after you…

1. I have had a Hell of a Week…
2. There have been a few people who have really helped me.
3. Things at home are doing okay.
4. My relationships that are closest to me, you know… like my marraige and stuff, are doing well and we’re communicating and all that good stuff.
5. Me and Randall are doing pretty well and I’m starting to get the house done. The deadline for the studio and the house being sorted out by my birthday is looking feasible.
6. Things in Duality are doing well and Joe and I are running a pretty tight ship. He is helping me and is VERY understanding…
7. I have good friends who care, both offline AND especially right now Online… and a GREAT online community that I’m part of…

All this is good right now, because:
8. Things inside Denise are NOT doing okay. My body is trying to destroy itself from the inside out, and if it has its way it will do its fair well best to ruin all the good things I have built.
9. My medicine has reached epic proportions of stupidity. Right now I have this ridicu-rash that makes me feel like some kind of leprous mutant.
10. I am also hallucinating slightly. I didn’t want to say this because it makes me sound a little insane… but:

11. I am afraid that I am going to get on a blog, or on Twitter, or on some other thing, and say something insane, like that the aliens have invaded, or that my husband is a zombie, or that Joe and I are going to go to the capitol and take over the government because we have just written a song about international sandwich spread that is going to change the nation even though he is not an American citizen, or that my feet have turned purple, or that Randall has invented an edible microphone and while I was sleeping he’s installed it in my stomach so that I am afraid to eat anything… or some paranoid crap like that.

See how insane I sound?!

This is why I decided to get off Twitter until I had gotten it “All Done.”

But I don’t know that isolation is necesscelery the best thing for me. Or minding my Ps and Qs as the Successful Musicians that I have Come to Admire do.

I think that what I will do is just continue to behave poorly as I do and hope that my insanity will continue to entertain.

I had an artifiction list that I didn’t post and was going to put in my NaNoWriMo project. I think I’ll release it. Rather than deleting my artifiction account, as I was thinking of doing earlier because I thought that it was being monitored and people were going to read my lists and bring Trouble to the Site.

This is about how it was when I got so freaky that I had to skip the moleman round of Song Fu Five because John Hodgman was on TV and commericals and other stuff all week and I thought he was stalking me mentally and I got very paranoid. So I did these vuh-blogs about how it was all a conspiracy and a sign and stuff and decided it would be better to avoid the whole thing.

Later I wrote the Beatrice Knifetongue song; but I was convinced that he was on some radio brain frequency trying to influence my decisions, because I had written my customary six or seven songs! It’s hard when you think celebrities are stalking you. I hope that a real celebrity NEVER stalks me because I am actually crazy and they so actually could probably succeed at doing it and no one would ever believe my protestations because my paranoia is well known!

See how silly it all is?


Just because you’re paranoid / don’t mean @Hodgman’s not after you…

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