I am very upset. The reason that I am upset is that I’m sick. For many reasons, I am a real baby about getting sick. And if I get sick, it’s hard for me to get better, so I get pretty scared.
When I get sick I have half a brain. This is half of the 3/4 of a brain that I usually walk around with. I don’t respond well to medication.
I tend to drive people away when I am sick, which is bad because that is usually when I need them the most. It’s a double whammy, because you’re usually also contagious and gross.
If I have any work to do, I can’t keep my mind on it very well. It doesn’t get done like it should. Fear mounts and I feel everything slipping away. The world goes on without me. I’ve been sick before, and I stayed sick. So every time I GET sick, I think, am I going to stay sick this time too, and not be able to get any work done? Is this it for me?
A little dramatic, I s’pose. But when there has been a lot of silence around you a lot of the time, and you have worked really HARD to overcome that … you are afraid of everything you’ve built just disappearing in the wind.