I have made myself very, very sick. It has just become clear to me how in-over-my head on certain projects and obligations I am. I want to pull back out of some things but I’m very emotionally invested in many of the things.
I’ve learned parts to them. I’ve made pianos. I’ve NAMED some of the pianos. Done hours of painstaking research. It’s heartbreaking really. I’ve gone out into the studio, with some of these pianos. I’m crushed, a little bit.
When you get to a certain point in your complete mental breakdown … when you realize that you’ve LOST it … that you may have done some ill-advised things and perhaps JUMPED THE GUN … well, I do a series of things.
1. I obsessively make pianos.
2. I nail bite.
3. I start flogging myself with Hungarian Rhapsody #2.
4. I OverShare with people who will later turn around and hurt me ijustknowit.
5. Apparently, I become addicted to the internet.
6. Apparently, I start participating in religious discussions, which is what I clearly stated several years ago that I would NEVER AGAIN DO.
7. I remake pianos.
8. I let my house go. Really go.
9. I do not complete songs, but keep writing more and more.
10. I do not do laundry in an epic way.