I’ve had an INTENSE week.
I live inside my head. That means that objects seen from the OUTSIDE of my head are often LARGER than they appear (if I see an innuendo lain on that, I will scream – you know who y’all are! Yes, there are more than one of you. I keep some icky company 🙂 🙂 🙂 ).
I am am ducking my head off from online JUST a little bit for a while. it’s gonna be temporary. I’ll hang a bit at the listening party tonight for final Fu, simply because I want to. But, after that – I think that after this week I’m going to need a good amount of time to just actually WORK on the music part of things in an isolated fashion. This week really kind of got to me. It reminded me of other weeks in other places with other conflicts and other feelings that … well…
They hurt. And I have that kind of brain where I need to just sit someplace and feed myself brain food until I feel better. Because I’ve always been in this game for the same reasons. And I can’t afford to get sidetracked. When you’re in this thing you have to put your eyes on the finish line and if you start thinking about things like pecking order or hierarchy and paying attention to that stuff you will fail. And it’s gotten me before. I can’t let it get me again. It’s a head game and I can’t be around it until I’ve redisciplined myself out of a SXSW-mindset. At least enough not to listen to how much more impressed-with-than-me I should be by famous people.
After all, I have a hard drive full of the most interesting drivel on the planet that, if I’d been in the right bathroom with the right agent at the right time – maybe I’d be geekeratti too and I would be having the Humility Conversation with myself right now; taking a break from TMA because I needed to stop being an asshole and complaining about non-organic hotel shampoos or some stupid Hippy-ass Austinite not telling me the appropriate directions to “So-Co.”