more me

1. I practiced. I’ve been kind of practicing to practice.
2. I flirted. With my computer. I haven’t done that in a while. I looked at it and I’ve been neglectful. I’ve mostly been paying attention to the internet and not really to all my nested folders and my lists, and all my little tiny corners where I keep things.
3. I thought briefly about just quitting and doing it all for me. How bad would that be?
4. I wondered why I do this? This music thing.
5. I started thinking about making my duet into a solo, simply because it is going to be SO emotional to write. I’m trusting the process and its safety less and less. I am remembering. I am listening to old recordings and remembering just *why* they were never released.
6. I’m having fun with the concept of collaborating, but am starting to resent a cloud over my head that I have felt before – where I feel like I have to learn and play covers or die. I don’t mind doing my friend’s material, but other people’s material in excess starts to feel … like another situation that didn’t work and was awful.
7. I’m casting about and wasting time because I’m, once again, not really committed to a course of action. I am at that point where I need to remember that I can trust myself and my old plan, because it was dependent on an old plan of just me doing the things I JUST needed to do.
8. All the talk online gets into my head and makes it mushy. All the constant updating gets addictive and is hard to wean from. You start to wonder things. Many of those sentences begin with the words, “why,” “why not” and “why won’t” and end with “me.”
9. I’m getting pretty frustrated with things online, actually. I don’t think I’m getting my point across here. I don’t think I have really made my impression really stick in people’s minds. I’m going to have to regroup somehow, and think about this a bit more.
10. I know who voted for me, and why I won. I’m proud of myself and grateful to them.

more me

Comment ...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s