Blogging at the Blogathon

1. So. I’m here at blogathonatx (blogathonatx.com). I can assure you, I did not literally Blog My Own Face Off. To provide you with too much information, as is my way – I have this weird Thing on my chin and I had to get my father, a Nice Physician, to meet me at his office and he tried to deal with it. So I was late.
2. Honestly, I don’t think providing this information to you is indicitave of Savvy Blogging. The truth is, I am not really a very savvy blogger. Nor do I have a clear cut mission in live. What I do have is a domain and a Vague Plan. At some point, I will get things together. This will happen some time over the rest of the month.
3. How is this different than the rest of the times I have said these Sorts of Things, you may ask? Well, this time, I have a little green feeling. A little green feeling is a little different from the other colors. It’s a center of the rainbow go. It’s proof of progress but an indicator that there’s a lot to do to make headway in the future. It’s light at the end of the tunnel but you can see the trees waving around outside a little more clearly in the sunlight.
4. Do you know what I am talking about? No, you probably don’t. We are at a party and you have excused yourself to get punch even though your glass is full. This is the type of blogathon that this is turning out to be for me. There’s a lot of stimuli in the room and it’s really tempting to write stream-of-consciousness like a confessional. This is something that I used to do WAAAY back in the Olden Days.
5. Now that I have taken you into the dark, nonsensical tunnel that is my thought-process; you are probably going “huh?” Truthfully, I can’t explain why I am a LOT more disorganized than I have been before. All I can say is that I’m irked that I am further away from the goals I wanted to be closer to; and I have found myself unable to give myself credit for a lot of the milestones I’ve hit. I think I need to do that. Being a Surly Individual is not going to help me find jumper cables for the spaceship – or stop writing extrodinarily bad metaphors … or learn to spell…or looking at people walking by my table with inviting expressions rather than with @suspiciousden in my eyes like they have tried to sell my spleen to circus performers.
6. So, at my dad’s clinic, my father asked me if there had been stink bugs. “Why?” I asked him. Because they hover around your face and put their P R O B I S C U I T S (not how the word is spelled) in it. these are called kissing bugs. There’s more information, like a doctor with a weird name and stuff. I’m going to dinner with him on Tuesday and we’re going to talk about bacteria and vile parasites of the face over a nice meal and then I will know terminology and stuff. I said “can I put you in my blog!?” thinking *people really need to know about this stuff!* and it’s true. I bet if you are reading this, you really want to know about what a lurking stinkbug can do to your face. So let my mistakes be a lesson to YOU.
7. Actually, we just moved. So yet again, I think it’s just hormones. I’m going to the Dude-You-Don’t-Wanna-Hear-About-It-Doctor on Tuesday as well, so I-May-Say-Something-General-And-Seemly about my Well Being, if you like.

This is the worst blog in a while, y’all. Fitting, as I’m having lunch at Blogathon. Flarg.

8 is Enough

Nur Ein results are up. I lost. None of this – ‘there were five winners’ crap. There were four dudes who knew what they were doing and one clueless little thing who had a good guest round. People said I made rhythm mistakes in my work; and instead of defending my work I got all unsure, assumed I was wrong and didn’t even bother to check and think I might be right, or that I might have been going for a flavor of something. And if wrong, understandably so in the same sort of way others overshoot the mark in their ways when they apply an effect. Now there’s an odd taste in my mouth about the Trying of the New Thing.

By the time I thought to somewhat defend myself it was too late – ironically, I failed the tongue twister challenge. If 7 is a lucky number I deserved an 8. I’ll think too deeply on the math and raise you. Right on its side is the number of infinity.

Will I do Nur Ein next year? Probably. Will I win it? I think I’ve figured out I shall never win it! But I will continue to try.

This was not the Nur Ein of last year where I came out feeling awesome and like I’d nailed the dismounts but cracked my ankle a bit. This is one where I tried new interpretations of all my old tricks while everyone else strapped on cool-as-s4it electric guitars or iron-clad reputations and the panel looked into my messy dreamworld in disbelief and said “wtf is this craziness?!”

Xondor. Welcome to Xondor.

Someday I will write the stories and the characters and the planets and all the little silly things I have been writing about but really, honestly……..
…….my shit IS stories. It’s even been said.

“no one wants to read a novel.”

Not only did the losing thing happen, the whole Nur Ein itself was filled with uncomfortable underlying and embarrassing social challenges that made it difficult to do my work. Interpersonal problems. Weirdnesses. Connundrum. Crisis of conscious-type stuff. Pestilence. Deaths. Sick pets. Relationship problems. Family issues. Internet “stuff” that is upsetty (these things happen). Stuff you can’t complain about on the boards because it sounds like you’re making excuses for why your song blows.

I found the entire time I couldn’t communicate with people in the way I wanted. I couldn’t get my point across. I felt uncomfortable with the discussion in and around the conversation (what does that even mean??) It had that odd vibe around it that a kid has when the adults are arguing and it’s like “shhhhh…let the grown ups talk….” but you know something mean and shitty is going on. But all you can think to do is cry and say “but, but…this is DUMB! Why can’t everyone be nice?!” so you feel lame and keep quiet. And it’s good that you did. This is just how the adults talk to each other! You would have embarrassed yourself! (again). Things are all fine! (_yep)

Mostly all this is me hitting the apex of Things; the top of the pile Ive needed to scale in order to make hard decisions about how out-of-hand I let things get in both professional and personal life.

I’ll never be “ready” to “do it” if I’m not ready already.

That’s what my lucky numbers indicate. Signs point to now.

No, I’m not quitting. No, I’m not even quitting contests. I’m too old for musical methadone clinics. But I’m also too old to change, to force my fat butt into a rock and roll cheerleader uniform. And certainly too old to do such things on my own.

I am going to pause and give myself the silent moment of extreme credit for the massive amount of work and accomplishment I know I’ve done. I think I’ve stretched myself more in 2 years than is really believable. That doesn’t really get prized in any way. You prize your own self for that by getting up in the morning and not quitting a Thing.

And I think I’ve been a little bit brain-fuzzy in thinking. Yes I have thoughts for the new title. Amazing ones. But more importantly I’ve got some plans for some other stuff I’ve let go undone for way too long that I used to be up to all the time.

I never did talk about Blogathon, or do anything about it, did I?

{edit: I do have to say, and not just to be PC, if you go to hear this round…the songs are all excellent. I didn’t lose to anything mediocre.}

EXCUSES WITH FRIENDS: Part TWO

I am achieving MORE unrighteousness in the Words with Friends-friends game. I can only say I’m sorry, and offer these excuses, which are that they wouldn’t take these perfectly fine words which are good and great and are Spelt correctly. So don’t get out the rieth of legad and beat me with it. Flarg.
(see THIS previous entry for context CLUEZ)

GLOSSARY PT. 2 (via the XONDORIAN ROYAL INTERGALACTIC EMBASSY)
[not in alpha-bet-soup-ic-al order...]

lauuv
a more dastardly sort of trowel

pimay
a sure footed and lithe water bird with a long, beak that gets into absolutely EVERYBODY’s business.

le
yet ANOTHER note to follow sol,

Zitth
Xondor’s second moon. A Very Suspicious Place, indeed.

Quegad
both the plural and singular form of the mysterious rock creatures of Zitth

qued
a quorum of Quegad

li
yet ANOTHER drink with jam and bread.

biocene
the geological epoch in which bacterial life began to form

theel
a strange substance best not discussed.

vaceby
grandma abhors a vaceby.

bisec
the vein that runs across a well pumped gym member’s upper arm at a finer workout establishment

Vaces
flower arrangements with spy-eyes.

Theid
The ruling body of the Eomen (who are clarvoiant magic users)

Rieth
SEE “Legad”

Legad
a place of good spelling. See “The Rieth of Legad”

THE RIETH OF LEGAD
The stick that you hit people with who don’t spell real good.

ilmet
an ear-creature. but it’s not really gross or anything. no really. it sounds worse than it is.

Bitti
Legal trouble of the intergalactic sort.

xealew
a tuber similar to a potato, but purplish.
*****************************************

in conclusion, here is a photo of me getting all Nur Ein-y on everybody’s hiney. So LOOK OUT BELOW (i.e….where I am coming from!!!)

useful words I made for a slow day

1. fl’anger: little tiny flurffs of passive aggressive steam let off online; to take the pressure off (not to be confused with a FLANG{ER}, which I think is a sound effect used by the combination of infinitesimal delay and chorus-type things to vary the tops and bottoms of your envelope, I think… it can go WHRONNNNG if you like.)
2. flurff: a unit of emotion
3. sklorg: the sense of nauseating unfairness that crushes your soul when someone has metaphorically eaten your adorable chocolate bunny; and the entire World is cheering them on Whilst it is being Done to you.
4. zwip: a philosophy of happy calm realism that allows one to roll with all Punches.
(husband wants to know if there shall be a book called ‘Zwip and the Art of Motorcycle Repair’)
5. shoggs: shoes that have suffered a Dastardly Puddle Invasion
6. blurgged: you sat in a puddle. In jeans. So this describes you now.
(I didn’t though. I just thought I’d clarify! Nor did I step in a puddle)
5. stoozered: “Jay said ‘Den go to bed’ and she was right ‘cuz I’m *stoozered*…but I finished my work anyway…” (jay did not say that in this Particular Instance but would have had she thought to Do So)
this means too tired to work but Pressing on to the Finish.

those are some words. there will be more later. I am sleepy now.
Here is a medium -sized photo of a little Lego farmer being abducted by aliens for your Viewing Pleasure…

Stealth Weasel Militias will attack your Serenity, if you Allow This.

1. I feel better
2. Sorta
3. I have a lot of work to do for a lot of stuffy-stuff-stuff
4. I feel really odd right now (no, as opposed to the normal “odd,” in which I just feel weird; in that I feel Quite Queerly Strange-io, as though something is eerily OFF (and quite possibly amiss )…
5. I have a lot of people that I’m real excited about but for various reasons I must hold back.
6. I have so MANY things that I want to do but for many reasons I don’t allow myself to just do them.
7. BUT
I have things that I am going after. I am a particular sort of person. Yesterday I was working on a blog and I was phrasing it in a negative way. Maybe I will finish it later, in a positive way. Hmm. Because even though the blog was being written for a negative reason, it was about positive influences.

Have a safe day, everybody.

ps list.
1. I must get my tags in order!
2. I must begin to link things again!
3. I must become more expedient about how to integrate all my social media and the blogging so that it takes up less time and I can put in more content.
4. I need to figure out how NOT to be so Xondorian about my content that I am putting myself into Awkward Turtle situations.
5. I should forgive myself too. Cuz that’s important.

Morning pages would also be a good idea, as would establishing a nice space in my home both for recording, broadcasting, AND thinking that doesn’t look like it’s been attacked by a Stealth Weasel Militia.

Because they will just GO TO TOWN on your serenity, if you let them.

Oh Spirit or Energy of Influence Over Me,
Please grant me quietness
not to fret about punches that will roll me regardless.
Remove fear so that I may apply true actions to all situations with discretion
and eyes that see to determine these things…
because there are people-sized weasels, and vampires, and zombies, and other
Media Popular creatures eating my brains -
so it’s hard to remember
My Prayers.

-Signed Denise.
the Xondorian.