1. Something strange happened to me today. I think that I am starting to feel more spiritual.
2. This does not mean that I am feeling more Religious.
3. I have not been blogging very much, because it is a terrible idea for me to engage in Blogging While Bitchy.
4. My health situation should be in an “in the know” state sometime next week.
5. I am finding social networking more and more exceedingly annoying. This is giving me a more clinical detachment from it than ever before. This is not really a good thing, because being warm and emotionally engaged was what made me … well, ME.
6. It’s Vampire Season, I’m noticing.
7. I like people to be interested in me because they feel I am creative and have something to say. I like people. I had a great weekend and am learning more and more that I actually DO like people … that if there weren’t so much MEAN-NESS in the world, I might be straddled well between introversion and extroversion. With a little more emphasis on being introverted, perhaps I could get lots of self-directed work done. I think I drew inward because of disappointments and extended hurt and fear.
I am hoping that this can be healed, with time.
I went to dance
in the crowded bar
resplendent in my nudity
I covered up my sweaty
… akin to everyone’s;
with disapproving, leaking fingers
… but really, everybody had these.
Something inside of me,
but floating in periphery
was the first to point –
And the robe of my religion
could not shield me
I had no frame of reference –
for automatic writing
of a truth
became a painful
But what truth?
the one that’s told to me
by modern seers with clout the size of
common comic books …
I crack around
the edges of the painting
for an answer …
Seek admission to the temple –
drive all the faster
Now I force (a little)
-a kind of quiet integration
to enlarge the “living room”
that I feel a lonely truth in.
I’ve got a lot on mind, and I’m very nervous.
I haven’t been a spiritual person. Not in a while. Not since the last time I was quite ill, actually. So it surprised me that tonight, when I am frozen stock still once again in fear and dread and uncertainty … that I actually prayed.
It was particularly ironic on this day.
I have mixed emotions about all that right now. I may explain in more detail at some point. For now I will put my weary head on my pillow, and hope for good dreams, and for what my grandmother used to say, which was “happy face in the morning.”
Yes. I’ll definately take that order of love now please
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