EXCUSES WITH FRIENDS: Part TWO

I am achieving MORE unrighteousness in the Words with Friends-friends game. I can only say I’m sorry, and offer these excuses, which are that they wouldn’t take these perfectly fine words which are good and great and are Spelt correctly. So don’t get out the rieth of legad and beat me with it. Flarg.
(see THIS previous entry for context CLUEZ)

GLOSSARY PT. 2 (via the XONDORIAN ROYAL INTERGALACTIC EMBASSY)
[not in alpha-bet-soup-ic-al order...]

lauuv
a more dastardly sort of trowel

pimay
a sure footed and lithe water bird with a long, beak that gets into absolutely EVERYBODY’s business.

le
yet ANOTHER note to follow sol,

Zitth
Xondor’s second moon. A Very Suspicious Place, indeed.

Quegad
both the plural and singular form of the mysterious rock creatures of Zitth

qued
a quorum of Quegad

li
yet ANOTHER drink with jam and bread.

biocene
the geological epoch in which bacterial life began to form

theel
a strange substance best not discussed.

vaceby
grandma abhors a vaceby.

bisec
the vein that runs across a well pumped gym member’s upper arm at a finer workout establishment

Vaces
flower arrangements with spy-eyes.

Theid
The ruling body of the Eomen (who are clarvoiant magic users)

Rieth
SEE “Legad”

Legad
a place of good spelling. See “The Rieth of Legad”

THE RIETH OF LEGAD
The stick that you hit people with who don’t spell real good.

ilmet
an ear-creature. but it’s not really gross or anything. no really. it sounds worse than it is.

Bitti
Legal trouble of the intergalactic sort.

xealew
a tuber similar to a potato, but purplish.
*****************************************

in conclusion, here is a photo of me getting all Nur Ein-y on everybody’s hiney. So LOOK OUT BELOW (i.e….where I am coming from!!!)

Nur Ein VII: Round Zero

1. And so it begins.
2. And not rather well.
3. I’m hoping it improves. I’m about to go try some piano-y stuff …
4. *deep dramatic sigh*
5. ps. this is a SUPER SECRET place this is on … so BE CAREFUL …. #sharplyindrawnbreath!

discipline

1. Moderation
2. Nutella
3. laundry :/
4. MEMORY !!!!!!!!!
5. tracks. today.
6. cleaning. finally.
7. nur EIN!!
8.

DISCIPLINE

9. filters
10. practice.

How to Cope with Being Accosted By Extroverts

1. Back away slowly. These are paradoxically both the oddest and most common of earthlings. They may flutter their Pom Poms in your face and begin chanting arbitrarily.
2. Allow them to explain the presence of “toros in the atmosphere.” Remember. A willing suspension of disbelief is key.
3. In more intimate settings, allow them to dominate the conversation.
4. Do NOT make them read beyond a third grade level.
5. DO try to check your ire, and perhaps learn what you can from their strange social practices. [NOTE: Apparently, one must engage in discourse with other humans in order to run the planet.]
6. Easily overpower them with memes and well placed social norms.
7. Set up conventions based around mutually shared areas of interest but hold secret meetings in closed session with discussion of how to take the planet’s power from the Loud and Ignorant.
8. Begin smear campaign based largely in well placed internet promotionals and other materials celebrating the casual quiet superiority of the Introvert; and decrying the drooling common idiocy of all who needily derive power from others to engage pathetically on a social level.
9. Watch society crumble.
10. Drink Jolt cola. Revel in success. Set up detention camps with mandatory times of “Quiet Reflection” and “Thoughtfulness Indoctrination.” Forbid any comparison to Godwin’s Law.
11. Celebrate new found power of introversion and your new dizzying popularity and the Era of the Subjugation of the Extrovert.
12. Organize a series of gladiatorial games to rid the earth of these aberrations once and for all!
13. Purchase Pom Poms.
14. Like … OMG! April Fools! I *totally* tested introvert on my TestyMcThing! Its @suspiciousden’s birthday, crazy-s!!! Get over yourselves!!!

I’m just trying to hang on till International Absentminded Sexy Professor in Latex Day, y’all. Shaaa…

a blog i should have not posted.

1. I dropped my cookie in my coffee and it disintegrated.
2. I want a piece of cake and mexican coke for lunch, and probably vodka and ciggies too; but these are not healthy choices and will not improve my range or my carriage and demeanor. I think the Lunar Army are probably making Preemptive Strikes, because my moods are variable and Inconsistent. If you don’t like to hear about this, get off my blog.
3. that was squirchy, wasn’t it. Nothing I say is coming out right today. I sound like a bad transmission.
4. I’m behind on my work.
5. I’ll just get my things and go …. :/

EXCUSES WITH FRIENDS

I am behind in words with friends. This is because I am compiling a Dictionary of Unfairness. This is being posted here, and was also posted on my page at Facebook. not on my “official Facebook page,” which is sort of a shame, or even on my blog Facebook page, which honestly I don’t really know why I have one. I feel like I should produce Original Content for that, but the thought of this makes my earlobes wobble.

It doesn’t. But you believed me for a second….

Anyway… I’m sorry if you have to read this twice. Except, on reflection, I’m not really; I went back and rewrote this introduction so you the reader would know that I do very much Care. Also, I think reading a dictionary will do you a heap of good. It’s time to learn, goblins.
(I called y’all goblins on spacehook too – if there’s any Y’all here…)

WORDS WITH FRIENDS, UNFAIRNESS-ED they TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE COUNTED and WOULD HAVE on XONDOR my HOME PLANET.
(not necessecelery in order, because it doesn’t “go” as well that way.)

Adaht
similar to the tango

Heisune
phase of moon

Hemoni
a forest of mean, mean trees with bad attitudes.

Teele
one of the smaller units of Xondorian currency

Thule
a tool similar to a hammer and a chisel

Eleth
a tool often used in combination with the Thule.

Tuleh
a Courtship dance

Ethele
a non-reactive, and indeed, tasty and nutritious chemical compound native to Xondor which tastes of butter and chocolate. It nonetheless becomes flammable when combined with the milk of Earthling cows.

Leethe
A native Xondorian biped resembling a lavender colored ostrich with spindly legs and Rather Flat feet. With a long Slender neck like a giraffe and long floppy ears.

Leethi
The plural form of Leethe

Apa
a small colorful bird about the size of a cherry that lives symbiotically on the lush fur of the Leeth.

Peuma
How you bid farewell to a gambler who has won the Center Sweep. Never while either party’s back is turned.

Eomen
a guild of clairvoyant magic sages and tellers of fortunes making their home in and around the Squirkesian wetlands in strange, difficult to find houses.

Mapol
The proper term for a grouping of leethi
as in
… ‘a Mapol of Leethi migrating through the Great Hemoni during Second Triple Heisune is considered an auspicious sign by the Eomen.’

vonc
a light swear word, often used as a replacement for other more vulgar terms.

smoat
my husband says this is a carbohydrate attack. I think that’s a stretch

nohovump
when something is really quite a stretch

zive
a Baroque danse similar to the Sarabande, except that one can moonwalk to it.

epemey
the amused, yet mildly agitated apathy preceding feelings of truly affronted and pre-revolutionary Vigor and Zeal.

ps. I’m thinking of doing something with my notes, and perhaps even all these lists. we may discuss this, you (my adorking public) and I, (who am me (WHAT?!?)) on this here blogittyblogMCblogaDongaDingDong.

#putmeoutofmymisery.

Overlord-in-Training

1. interesting discussion on Facebook about how the gentle manipulation of humans may be a positive thing…hmmm. I will get back to you on this.
2. I have two tasks to complete. Then there will be NO EXCUSE not to move on to the FINAL FRONTIERS of ROOM CLEANSING and COMPUTER DOMINATION…
3. my bathroom is atrocious. I’m seriously from a poisonous species. You do not want to know me. No. Get out. I am serious. It’s better this way……(cue sadViolins)
4. I’m thinking of avoiding the Internet but that actually feels ill-advised and irresponsible. Addictive Internet behavior and compulsive negativity does not mean one needs to quit blogging and withdraw one’s President-ence. I just need to go back to the practicing.
5. I have a thought that I might like to bake this weekend, so that Cake-like-Birthday-product may be had. Also Birthday boy (birthdays last a week!) will get to pick his dessert..
6. We are going on a barbecue trip tomorrow (Saturday). We’ll most likely make a video as well we haven’t done that in forever. I know I keep saying that, but No! I mean it!, and it is True! …you mark my words … you mark my words …
7. I will now take a short pause to rub my hands together nefariously. I will take a photograph of myself doing so, ever mindful of the fact that on Twitter we are talking mildly about Narcisstic ReTweeting. When I am Queen, we shall retweet EVERYTHING I decree. Even my BLINKING shall be reTWEETABLE.
8. Calm down. OMG…I’m totally KIDDING. I have no idea what kind of mood I’m in …but NO…everytime I type something into Twit-deck, I do NOT require an advertisement for a magic iPhizzle. No THANK you, green-egg-icon-space-bot. Gettenzie-a-life!!!!!
Here is my Fetching Series of Photographs, oh People of the Screen….gaze and B A-Mazed.

(Really, I just end up laughing at my own stupidity at the end, as my Hatched Plan does not come to Fruition.)

[LATER EDIT.... did I spell "narcisscisstictytic wrong? Probobably. Oh whale. This is the way the detergent gets in our cherry soda. Flarg.]

spring cleaning: pt2

1. rain. irony.
2. define irony. I myself am too busy working. I own 2-3 early Alanis albums and read the Oatmeal so keep that in mind. or, you know. don’t.
3. GAH, I hate the cold. Captain Suck-It has gleeked upon my sundress.
4. It’s time for French toast. It’s not made by the French, it’s made on Large Bread from Texas and is delicious.
5. I’m craving seafood tonight and I want it in the form of tacos.

A Factual Picture of the here-sitch-now-itch.

1. lists have become popular and i am constantly comparing myself to other people. I read that such behavior is not what happy people do in a recent article posted by some extremely useful Twitter friends of mine that I haven’t met yet but who are on Austin bumper stickers Famously everywhere and generously and positively #follow-Friday lots of people. This makes me realize that I am comparing myself to happy people. I Cannot Win.
2. Everything I do right now feels trite and boring.
3. I am the acne monster from the Hormonal Lagoon. I cannot be looked upon. I am hideous. I should write a cute song about myself and sing it in a Texas accent to the French people and perhaps I will make it big on French radio. Or does it work the other way around? I don’t think it does unless I sing in French.
4. I’ll get right on that. I’m sure I can just go learn some French in a jiffy. Perhaps one of my alert readers (nod to the immortal Dave Barry) can put this for me into a Cute Song:

“My god, I am covered in acne!
Disgusting hormonal abberation which I have become
You will not look at me
or talk to me
I should not be talking to you anyway
I am a vampire
You are a donut
I am a werewolf
You are a shark
I am a shopping cart
You are a tree
I am the ocean
You are a pair of broken spectacles
I don’t like to fish
You watch movies about angry bears.
I got a telegram the other day
It said you were angry. It was not from you. But I find
I do not care. I do not care. I do not care.”

5. I somehow just KNOW that this translates into something Meaningful and Profound. I will sing it whilst smoking, and wearing a beret and stripes. They will Not chase me out of the country after I have arrived in Paris, but will Get It, and bring me orange soda. I don’t know if that is a thing over there, but I am out of my Jarritos Mexican coke which is Tamarind flavored and I find that I either want something Strawberry flavored or orange or a Mountain Dew or something.

6. I would eat a three musketeers bar if one came and tapped me on the shoulder.

7. I’m so oily right now it’s not EVEN funny!

i’m a loser baby, so why don’tcha kill me…

when you are a weak person in many ways, what do you do?

what do you do when you are easily distracted, when you have problems and there are things that get to you? when you can’t handle your anger and you are so consumed sometimes that you can’t really solve your problems and are distracted from what you have to do?

in my experience, denying the problem and trying to live with it in a calm fashion as though it does not exist doesn’t really help. reducing a mountain down to a small dot is not really possible. it is not possible to play hopscotch over Mount Everest.

It is possible, however, to move back home and admit that you are not a mountain climber and that it is more appropriate to play hopscotch on your driveway. It’s easier to navigate a bit of a slope, or a flat surface if you have grown up and moved away from your childhood home in this ridiculous metaphor.

It’s important to know that you don’t really have a duty to anyone but yourself. In a way, you almost don’t really have a duty to your family – no, not even your children. Your duty to your children is to remain sane for them so if they drive you crazy figure out what to do within your limitations so that you can be there for them in the way that is appropriate for your situation. I had a discussion with a good mom once and that was the conclusion that was arrived at. I’m not a mom – so that sounded good to me. It seemed like an appropriate way to apply boundaries.

If you’re a weak-boundaried person, perhaps you are NOT weak. Maybe it’s like a muscle. Maybe you shouldn’t be tasked to carry such a heavy load. Maybe it’s not really your problem. Maybe you should only ask yourself to deal with what you can deal with at the time you can deal with it.

I myself think that I have been dealing, emotionally, with too much. I have been taking on responsibilities, emotionally, that are not mine. I have been adopting roles that I should not have to play. I have not been enjoying liberties that I should get to indulge in. I often suffer in secret silence. I do not talk about being sick very much, and take time to myself to heal. I do not discuss rejection, because I am too proud. I suffer the proximity of those who have hurt me, and I have done this all my life. I should be allowed to apply distance and not have to show up when I think that doing so would shame me.

I’d like to hear an honest speech of defeat, and if I were a politician, I would give one. I don’t know what I would call my political party – and that is a subject for a far denser blog anyhow that I’m going to have to grow a different Sort of Courage to write; which will take time – but the tone of my speech would contain:

1. I worked REALLY hard to get here and I sunk ALL my hopes into this race.
2. I have very little agreement with my opponent and am feeling pretty jealous and bitter right now. Giving this speech is hard and it’s hard not to cry. I’ll do all I can to help, of course, and I will be as nice as pie and try to be gracious – but damn! I’d like to kick the proverbial rock and sure pout a little bit!
3. If at all possible and if I have the strength, I’m going to keep trying to achieve my goals.
4. It sure is embarrassing to lose when you try so hard.
5. All the mean things that people said about me hurt my feelings, because I like validation as much as the next guy. It’s really HARD to turn the other cheek.
6. “huh, huh. I said cheek…hehehehehe” {no, I wouldn’t say that. this is probably why I wouldn’t entertain a career in politics though. i am a child}
7. There’s lots of other stuff I’d probably say about my honest feelings. I’d try to put myself in the best light possible of course, but I might be honest about needing to get what I want.

Point is, for a while, I’d go away to lick my wounds, and not hang around the white house, or the mansion, or the place of office, or whatever – and torture myself while all the Fun was going down. Because I don’t think I’d be able to plan my next attack very effectively.

That’s just really not how I roll. I’m quite the sore loser.

Kick a rock.