Complications in Social Networking: Why I Beat It & Took a Little Breather

1. I am friends with the Pope. Pals. Buds. Homiest of Homies. On…uh… the Sacred Spacebook so, I’m his North Star, and he’s my Cardinal Effort (I’m not really, but that would be really pope-dope, and I grew up Catholic so I get to make jokes because I come from a long tradition of doing so and I can use the Church for object lessons. This is a Cautionary Metaphor. I humbly offer it here for the ben-a-dict-efit of all (#boo #aStretch).

2. Anyway, I posted this status update and the Bishop of Rome commented on it in a way that made me look a little Vroom-Vroom. Nothing I couldn’t banter back. Just a little zoomzy, you know, kinda a bit racy..? #nervouslaughter

3. but it just so happened that my friend David Beckham (not THE David Beckham…this is ANOTHER Mr. Beckham. I have not linked him because he’s very shy and he said I could use his name but not link his page) …wellll – Mr. Beckham “liked” the post. So I hoped that our dear Pontiff’s good natured and spicy fun using me as humor’s sacrificial lamb wouldn’t be taken amiss. I don’t want anyone thinking I’m a silly filly. Also notable was an additional “like” by Mr. Beckham’s friend Arthur Miller (not the playwright – he is no longer with us, but Mr. Miller the distiller is).

4. BTW, the post was something random concerning gardening, or life on the farm; like about Oats or something. No. Not my friend John. As an aside, I don’t talk about John anymore because we got into an argument about copyright infringement so I put Mr. Oats in one of my filtered groups (not Mr. Oates, he’s AWESOME!). Mr. Oats ALWAYS has an opinion and so do all his friends and frankly; I am CONSTANTLY getting sucked in and it’s a TOTAL time waster and before you know it, sure as donuts make your keyboard sticky, you’ve ka-spacebooked away your practice time.

5. Well, if you add all your Squa-squa-networks together, it just ka-escalates … so don’t go thinking that things are any better on The Google or Twitter or anything. It’s not. You have to show some restraint. Which brings me back to my story.

6. My friend Michael Jackson (no! not THE Mr. Jackson, although I know how it would be easy to be confused, because my friend has a warped sense of humor and posts profile photos of THE Michael Jackson and Inspirational Quotes about just looking at ‘…the man in the mirror’ before judging others. All that so that you can get your guard down and then he ruins it by posting some gross haiku like: do you wanna see, what I can do, baby girl… to your P.Y.T. ) – yeah … this friend got pretty bad himself in my post. His Holiness (or “Eggs 16,” as we call him during bowling) had already started the ball rolling and back and forth we went about me “sowing my wild oats” and then the ante was up when Mr. Jackson had to say something dirty about a plow and then all hell broke loose. I think friend pope made one more comment, and that was all good old MJ needed! Thank goodness no one made a dirty comment about Mr. Oats!

7. But see, I’ve been hoping that David Beckham would interact on my page for forever! So I was in panic about the post going in this snurly direction. I mean, I like saucy references to farm equipment as much as the next person – but you can’t go back and re-filter posts! Privacy Controls at the Sacred Spacebook are CRAP! I think it’s some kind of Advertising Related Conspiracy or something, although Mr. DJ Ranger Den (that’s my Old Man) thinks I have the paranoia. But I am sure you, oh Fair Fourth Wall, do get it about wishing your friends would be on Better Behavior and consider that like Mr. Miller the distiller seeing and liking your post because of Mr. Beckham’s news feed – you have a friendship with people like His Holiness as well. God can totally read your comments.

8. But on I go with Damage Control! I say “ha ha… I kinda shut the barn door on all THAT” or “we could argue about this till the brown-chicken-brown-cows come home” or something silly-yet-jokingly-validating to Lighten the Mood. It would have worked with Eggs, because he gets Family Values and would have reassessed my concern for the whole congregation of Postal Participants. Usually, I can trust MJ too. But something was off with him today and he kept going WAY over the line, taking the post in The Wrong Direction. And by then I was fearful that I was Offending People.

9. Example. I’ve been worrying for months about my great-great Aunt Berniecey Telulah McMegaphonezalo (not an actual aunt. She might know the pope though). I had concern that she and perhaps other members of my family would see some of my more unsavory friends posting Heavens-Knows-What on my page or making Unsavory or Controversial Comments. And I feel bad, like I am ashamed of my friends. How dare me!

10. In support of a dear friend of mine, Winslow, I liked the International Alliance of GLBTNinjas (this page blogged about here for Entertainment Porpoises only) page a couple months ago. I was afraid of Raised Newsfeed Eyebrows, but did it anyway – because we should be proud of our friends’ and support them when we can. But I feared conservative family would sanction me for my interest and support of “alternative” lifestyles – although I have to say, for the people living them, alternative to WHAT? Alternative to being yourself? But then there is the counter-fear of offending my friends with The offense of the Offended, therefore offending people who just want to see LOLcats and Gangnam Style (you know you wanna watch this again ……).

As well, if you tell people you’re into Ninjutsu, then are you, really, in fact, truly interested in Ninjutsu? Or are you just interested in it like hipsters are interested in the Zombie Apocalypse and flash mobs? Are you just jumping on a bandwagon to say, “hey I’m cool because I support THAT…”? Such things prey on my mind. But I know that even with a light sneeze, I am sure to offend someone merely by being ill and posting about it – as I am in this meta-metaphor being an attention seeking sneezer who is not sensitive to people with REAL illnesses and people may come to Question the Path I may take to the recovery of my common cold. And really, what makes MY cold more common than YOUR cold?

11. All of my friends, however, were included on my innocent post discussing farming. It was actually intended for the interest of David Beckham (again not the football star and I also meant Mr. Miller the distiller, not the playwright) and my ex-boyfriend’s old uncle who actually is an Amish farmer and ventures onto the internet sometimes (he isn’t an orthodox man, and who are you to judge what people do in their spare time??). But it felt weird to worry over what these two might think of the degenerating morality in Michael Jackson’s comments (how could I possibly “like” a person like MJ when he made such RUDE comments? What was wrong with me?!). AND to worry about a wide cross section of people varying from my ex’s Amish uncle (who I shouldn’t even be CONCERNED with, OMG! why am I even FRIENDS with an ex anyway???), to Auntie Telull-lie, to poor David Beckham, to a Mr. Oats who probably wouldn’t even see the post but if he heard about it would know I had friends of “Questionable Nature” AND that I was filtering him!

So I deactivated my account for the good of everyone and the good of Farming and the good of Family Values and Progress and indeed, America and also World Peace too – and the children and all things green and Lasting; and when I decided to creep back onto the Spacebook, I deleted the post Post-haste-ily even though I was upset about doing so because it started out with such an interesting cross-section of people liking and commenting Upon it … and at the beginning I was successful at bringing it out of Yucks-ville. I was proud of that. I haven’t posted again until recommending an album for a friend (that’s the truth!) and I live in fear that someone will ruin that for me (also true…)

But at least some of us are mutual friends with the Pope. My goal was that as diverse as is our audience, we “get” that just because we are engaging in microbloggery, we do not need to act like we are raised in barns. Which is rather funny because as you have probably gathered, you cannot trust that Human Nature will not escalate these problems even though you can Wholly See that some conversations are really meant for more Private Eyes.

Things…

1. I’m doing some work today. My cat is not being helpful. I wish she’d go hang out with Otis.
2. I have a slight headache and an attitude problem.
3. I’m retagging and releasing some old posts that I didn’t publish before, some are from years ago. Sorry if this alarms anyone and you are like…but… but… this doesn’t make any SENSE!!!!
4. I ate noodles today, and that’s it.
5. I’m finding a lot of poetry in this computer.
6. my goodness this blog is boring today.

national. treasure.

what is it, exactly?
tell us.
write it down in a list.

WHO?
Who asked you to do that?
Are you saying *I* did?
What do you
mean
by THAT?

What
do you do?

well
everyone
does that

what else can you do
what are you doing
who told you to?
who wants you?
who even cares?
blah
blah
blah

(nobody says that!)
(tell us……

….who
said it.

)

and

what?

uh.

WHY are you…
exactly?

Atropos Remembers Her Lover

all of a sudden
I saw my hands were old.

they’d aged three decades in as many months

i know how much a ferryman should cost.
(enough to know how much, he still expected…

lots)

a universe of starry skin cells
all interconnected
time stretched out like a stranger …

all of a sudden
my soul felt cold.

I’d forgotten that I had a soul.
They told me such was not
my right to stretch and hold

my hands lacked lines once, for a while
the body underneath them
honey over polished stone

time stopped!
…all a sudden
and it was as if your arms
were made of gold.

******************
ps. THIS is a good old entry and another fitting poem for now.

Slippage-B-Gone

1. this morning I am wearing Charming Pyjammas (A word I refuse to argue with the Spelling Faeries over). I took a photo, for your perusal.
2. my brainstormy list of things to do is disorganized and frightening and it’s really no wonder I sit around drooling a lot.
3. New hair tomorrow! No idea what color I will be…
4. It is time for Autocorrect and me to have a STERN set of HARSH WORDS about It PREEMPTING everything I say-dammit. I clearly look Silly and Incomp-a-toad. And I donut like this. Not one tiny bait.
5. My friend that does my hair thinks my music is great but that I’m a Writer, really. It’s a good time for a hair appointment…
6. Billy and the Psychotics got reviewed at Song Fight by Jim of Seattle. If you don’t know what this means I shall just tell you that it was really cool and told me a lot, some of which I already knew. I got some ideas on how to solve The Problem (Me vs. Consistently Writing a Melody/Hook). Solving the problem is HARD. I did better this week (we’re active at songfight.org); also managing to pull off not sounding like the Mucinex Faerie.
7. My piano is tuned!!! YAY!!! I had something bloggy to say about Mr. Nick Litterski, whose name is Difficult to Spell; and I think it had something to do with his fixing of the sustain pedal and all the hilarious innuendo one can gather when you are using exciting and inventive techniques to make sure one does not suffer from continued pin slippage which affects the sustain pedal’s ability to perform. The proffered solution indeed rose to the occasion; my pedal is working smoothly thus far, and I am acting like a real tool right now in this blog. I think I even said “that’s what she said” before “I am totally blogging this!” Anyway, back in six months to check for the tightness of tuning pegs. I’m totally in the wrong field. Or maybe not, as I am both a lyricist, and a cad.

It’s Vampire Season.

1. Something strange happened to me today. I think that I am starting to feel more spiritual.
2. This does not mean that I am feeling more Religious.
3. I have not been blogging very much, because it is a terrible idea for me to engage in Blogging While Bitchy.
4. My health situation should be in an “in the know” state sometime next week.
5. I am finding social networking more and more exceedingly annoying. This is giving me a more clinical detachment from it than ever before. This is not really a good thing, because being warm and emotionally engaged was what made me … well, ME.
6. It’s Vampire Season, I’m noticing.
7. I like people to be interested in me because they feel I am creative and have something to say. I like people. I had a great weekend and am learning more and more that I actually DO like people … that if there weren’t so much MEAN-NESS in the world, I might be straddled well between introversion and extroversion. With a little more emphasis on being introverted, perhaps I could get lots of self-directed work done. I think I drew inward because of disappointments and extended hurt and fear.

I am hoping that this can be healed, with time.

DENISE NEW YEAR

HAPPY NEW YEAR! It’s that time of year again, so here are some fun facts about Denise New Year! I hope you are having a good one, and having a good Monday during this special holiday sneezon!

1. October 1 is the Day of Denise New Year and April 1 is SuspiciousDen’s birthday! So they are 6 months apart! I tend to behave more foolishly in the Warmer Months so my Silly Self takes over. You know, or not
2. On every DNY, a major revelation is revealed. #mysssstery!!
3. I make 5 resolutions every year now on this day.
4. It’s cold in my living room.
5. We’re going out to dinner.
6. I’m so pleased at how much progress I’ve made in the last 12 months, personally. I couldn’t have done it without a couple of key people. They know who they are and they always show up for me.
7. I’ve been lying low lately.
8. Tomorrow I am going to the doctor. I will have more to say about that soon. I’ve needed to talk about that stuff, and get on with this business of my life for a long time. I will do what needs to be done, whatever they say. I have no idea what’s going on with me, truthfully, so I’ve been hanging out and laying low.

Meanwhile, here’s an old photo of the death star in Legos at the mall:

This has nothing to do with this post.

Blogging at the Blogathon

1. So. I’m here at blogathonatx (blogathonatx.com). I can assure you, I did not literally Blog My Own Face Off. To provide you with too much information, as is my way – I have this weird Thing on my chin and I had to get my father, a Nice Physician, to meet me at his office and he tried to deal with it. So I was late.
2. Honestly, I don’t think providing this information to you is indicitave of Savvy Blogging. The truth is, I am not really a very savvy blogger. Nor do I have a clear cut mission in live. What I do have is a domain and a Vague Plan. At some point, I will get things together. This will happen some time over the rest of the month.
3. How is this different than the rest of the times I have said these Sorts of Things, you may ask? Well, this time, I have a little green feeling. A little green feeling is a little different from the other colors. It’s a center of the rainbow go. It’s proof of progress but an indicator that there’s a lot to do to make headway in the future. It’s light at the end of the tunnel but you can see the trees waving around outside a little more clearly in the sunlight.
4. Do you know what I am talking about? No, you probably don’t. We are at a party and you have excused yourself to get punch even though your glass is full. This is the type of blogathon that this is turning out to be for me. There’s a lot of stimuli in the room and it’s really tempting to write stream-of-consciousness like a confessional. This is something that I used to do WAAAY back in the Olden Days.
5. Now that I have taken you into the dark, nonsensical tunnel that is my thought-process; you are probably going “huh?” Truthfully, I can’t explain why I am a LOT more disorganized than I have been before. All I can say is that I’m irked that I am further away from the goals I wanted to be closer to; and I have found myself unable to give myself credit for a lot of the milestones I’ve hit. I think I need to do that. Being a Surly Individual is not going to help me find jumper cables for the spaceship – or stop writing extrodinarily bad metaphors … or learn to spell…or looking at people walking by my table with inviting expressions rather than with @suspiciousden in my eyes like they have tried to sell my spleen to circus performers.
6. So, at my dad’s clinic, my father asked me if there had been stink bugs. “Why?” I asked him. Because they hover around your face and put their P R O B I S C U I T S (not how the word is spelled) in it. these are called kissing bugs. There’s more information, like a doctor with a weird name and stuff. I’m going to dinner with him on Tuesday and we’re going to talk about bacteria and vile parasites of the face over a nice meal and then I will know terminology and stuff. I said “can I put you in my blog!?” thinking *people really need to know about this stuff!* and it’s true. I bet if you are reading this, you really want to know about what a lurking stinkbug can do to your face. So let my mistakes be a lesson to YOU.
7. Actually, we just moved. So yet again, I think it’s just hormones. I’m going to the Dude-You-Don’t-Wanna-Hear-About-It-Doctor on Tuesday as well, so I-May-Say-Something-General-And-Seemly about my Well Being, if you like.

This is the worst blog in a while, y’all. Fitting, as I’m having lunch at Blogathon. Flarg.

More D Than Perhaps You Need (‘SHA!!)

1. I’ve been lying kinda low lately. It’s blogathon though this weekend, so I’ll probably become a real Twitter-nuisance
2. My kitchen is done. This is a Big Deal. We have lots of Space I’m going to cook and have made grand, almost domesticcy plans. I do not care if this sounds lame. Denise New Year approaches (Oct 1)
3. Aren’t those the cutest tomatoes? We saw them at the store-zo. I don’t want to buy everything I see so I took a photo. It has not been Any-Thing-O-Grammed; those are just tomatoes in Well Lit Produce Section Lighting. Soon, it will be Tomato Soup Night weather. That’ll be ……. scrumptious. You’ll smell the garlic breath from wherever you are reading this, and shall Not!! want!! to kiss me!! Myself, I am fond of the garlic because vampire kissing never does anyone any good!
4. I need to journal and blog more. For myself. I think I’ve been scarce, because I’ve needed to be by myself. The piano and I have been eyeing one another like a couple who went “on a break” to “see other people.” there are some hurt feelings and ruffled feathers. Bad beliefs have set in. I’ve listened to, accepted, and possibly even encouraged surface-level definitions of myself that have been counter-productive. I’m way more of a spotlight person and less of a “wow! Youre SOOOOO amazing!!” person than I let on. I love to support others, but I have done this to my own detriment; ignoring the gentle feeling that kicks in which says ‘Enough now…’ Resultingly, there’s not enough left of me to throw into things and people I do feel really invested in. I’m behind on a lot of stuff I feel really passionate about. I’ve been fortunate to live in a kind to test environment where I’ve been able to rehearse the management of Where I Put My Time. Failure in this area isn’t undoing me. But it’s time to get serious because this won’t last. Not if I’m to market myself, or whatever. It’s just difficult to go back to the way I used to think of myself years ago, even though I have more skills now than I did then. Why would I value myself less?
Wow..thanks for letting me lay on your leather couch and yak at you while you took this time to read my blog! I DO feel better. Why yes, you are welcome to talk about your childhood or your grief over your Failed Tomato Crop in the comments section.
4. Also, I’ve been sick. This isn’t a huge Big Thing because I often am sick lately and have stuff..but this time it’s mysterious and I’m going to the doctor to ask what is going on. I don’t feel awful about this…I feel pretty positive about most everything right now. So maybe this will affect me well physically. Who knows these things? No, I will not post a blog about it if it’s something s’nasty. #thatmightbealie
5. I am feeling weird about personal posts again. Like “this isn’t very professional.” Yes. That same old crap. Clearly, I’m not QUITE ready for prime time, since I have yet to Accept the fact that I have blogged about Personal topics in a General fashion since before we stood in the lines for the Star Wars prequels (this is actually true).
6. We got addicted to Downton Abbey. Woe is us. If this isn’t a First World Prob, I don’t know what is. They don’t have the second season on Netflix, so I s’pose kingdoms shall fall… This is getting too long…
7. Additionally, this post is boring me like apple butter used to bore me when I was like 7 or so. I guess I didn’t really see the point of such a spread. It’s actually kind of tasty though. One shouldn’t disparage their own Self in their Promotions I guess, but if you have anything to say about my Tone perhaps for today just Hush and eat your toast and be happy I am blogging again, for Pete’s sake (who *IS* Pete anyway?)!

my exciting headache and other Boring Information.

1. I’m reading old entries in this blog. They are trying to amuse me and make me laugh and I’m thinking “not now, blog! I have a headache.”
2. I actually do have a headache, so that was not just said for Comedic Effect.
3. At my new house with Magical Flooring, I have a birdybath with sillyfrogs in it in my backyard.
4. Porch Kitty likes the back porch a lot and has not begun festooning the place with Poo.
5. I do not know why I felt it was necess-a-squarey to capitol-ize ‘poo.’
6. We have placed our gnomes.
7. I’m feeling sick today, but this is not really Breaking News because there is always SOMETHING a-foot in Dees-ville.
8. I am too lazy to rave about Blogathon, my website development, or the Texas Honeys thing today (my husband knew when it was coming out and I didn’t!) – but I’ll talk more about it soon, SOON. Today I wanted to make lists and whine about the dull Throbbing ACHE that is my headache. This is my BLOG. Why do I have to promote myself all the time, I ask you? Can’t a body just sit here and WHINE? Can’t I complain? I think I should be able to whinge and MOAN!!!
9. Okay, that’s done. Promise. Damn, I need a massage.
10. The husband is getting his American citizenship tomorrow. Yes, he still gets to be an Australian. Yes, he had to take a test, so he now knows more about our government and history than ALL other Americans combined. I’m so proud.