In a perfect world, I will fix this.
I swear it shall be done
This is the MASTER’S OF SONG FU5 ENTRY that I made it in for just in time!

BTW: (*there’s a note at the end, about some lyrics)

“four5ths“

[1]
I never seem to finish / any thing I start
I never go audition / so I never get the part
Always sitting in the shadows / while the cool kids pass me by
Racking up excuses / and all the reasons why

[CH]
Four-fifths
It’s only four-fifths
And it’s not good enough to win your love
Four-fifths / and it’s not good enough
to make it …

[2]
This isn’t going well / I’ve just got something random down
I’ll commit to it right now / maybe you can’t tell I’m freaking out
… with a boy that makes you paranoid, your sit’ch is gonna crack
So you set yourself back up in case the other one don’t stack up

[CH]
Four-fifths, this is only four-fifths
And it’s not gonna be good enough / not good enough
Four-fifths / it’s only four-fifths
And it’s not good enough
to make it … to #1

[Weird trippy BRIDGE]
But you know that the other songs were perfect
…perfect and superior
and superior to everything
I ever, ever did
(the angst is palpable)

I obviously take exception to the rule … of mediocrity
“She’s such a fabulous specimen of a songwriter.”
(Look at her go …)
- – - – (na, na, na, na …)

Time bends slowly in exile
no one understaaaaands
in my bedroom all alone

ahahahahahah….
No one understands the bleak black dreary darkness that my emo soul demands….
(no one understaaaaands…..)
*

CH
Ah……
four-fifths
it’s always four-fifths
but apparently it’s not good enough
four-fifths / four-fifths
I’m always faking it / but it’s not good enough … for your love

REPEAT IMPROVY ADNAUSEAM PIANO AND VOCAL STUFF:
(only good enough for a fraction of your love
only good enough for a little tiny decibel of your love)

*this is an inaudible line that BARELY got heard in the mix. I decided to put it in the lyrics anyway. It’s kind of a rumbling grumble under everything. Oh welllwhale!

This is something I dashed off. It’s stupid. I haven’t been blogging very much lately. Haven’t really felt like it. I don’t really like to blog much anymore. I think I’m afraid of being online. I was happier when I had fewer people that I knew floating around here. Oh well. Ack.

Twas the hour before Fu’s due
My song was not ready
My brain was as useless as moldy spaghetti
The soundproofing was hung round the room with great care
(In hopes I’d record some sounds people could bear!)

As far as this fu, I was filled with foreboding
I’d tried several ideas – my mind was exploding!
I was cranky and smelly and needed a nap
I must admit that I yelled out “WHAT THE CRAP?!?!”

The screams drifted downstairs to my usually calm mate
(Actually he knows about how I run late)
I was swearing and screaming and saying “I quit!”
He walked calmly upstairs as I ranted about it …

“My mac it has stolen my song file away –
It’s a conspiracy … there is no way
I will ever continue in music again!
I’ve had it! I’ve had it! The suck demons win!”

The ironclad rule: “There’s no crying in Audio!”
Made me stop my ride in the psychopath rodeo
My husband was calm as he slid behind the Mac
He quietly helped me to get my file back

The song was a tad late, not as flash as I like
The levels quite off and the reverb not tight
Next round I will be more adroit with my time
(if you buy THAT … I’ll sell you a bridge for a dime …

The moral of the story, I know it full well
If you take it too seriously, this stuff will be hell
We’re here to have fun, to find friends far and wide …
Are we pros? Well, who knows? You’re the one who decides

{sing in freeform}
The chatting was fun, amusing and scary.
But I’m tired of thinking of rhymes.
I’ve got to eat lunch and also …
I’ve got self imposed deadlines …
I think I will eat a salad, and some water with limes
(If you’re a some-times-atarian, of burgers be wary)

It’s rainy and cold. This poem is bad. Ack.
Happy Fu, Merry Christmas. To all a good yak.

DENISE’S IDEAL DAMN DAY

1.Wake up. Drink some coffee. (awesome example)

2.Play some random piano for quite a while.

3.Do some writing.

4. Make sure I eat breakfast. While I do this I can catch up on all the reading I have to do. The online stuff. I have a tunna subscriptions, websites, MyTwitBook, all that stuff. Then I need to call venues.

5. Then I should write, and record, and rehearse. All day. If I have to run errands, I run them. But mostly, write, record, rehearse. Maybe clean.

So I need to time my internet time. That’s just how it needs to be. It needs to get done, but it needs to also be left behind when it starts to take over my life. It’s eating my brain. So ironically, I’m blogging about it. Sheesh …

Oh yeah. And I forgot to mention. Three things:
1. טלפון: עורית
2.
3. I’m in SONGFU again. This happened a couple days ago (the sign up). I find out if I’m a participant on Monday.
4. Also: nanowrimo.

I’m a crazy person.

– Posted from my iPhone

1. That last post should have been backdated. It’s taken me three days to write it.

2. I am bookoo behind on Cigar Girl.

3. I have a secret cigar to review. Two, actually. Shhh. Don’t tell.

4. I’m getting my hair done today. I’ll have pictures. I may even play a song. Yeah, I’m awesome.

5. I have a hideous dental appointment in about thirty minutes. Why no, I’m not dressed.

6. My first episode of the V-blog will be tonight. I will make a list of topics, and I will talk about them.

7. This is lucky seven. My YouTube is pretty now. I am going to upload some charming videos up there of some of the ridiculous things my husband and I do on our anemic site. Yes, they are all quite legal. They are things like having brunch and him making fun of my accent, even though he is the one living in a foreign country. Oh, snap. Yeah, I just said that. If I have to live in your world I will borrow your colloquialisms. I thought no one was reading this, but I was surprised the other day by a comment from Joe Covenant. I hope I remembered how to spell “Covenant,” because it is an important word – which a few men I have been involved with seem to have forgotten …

THIS SONG IS TOTALLY RATED RRRRRRR (not pirate “R”, bad R … cuz there’s cussing. Don’t go if you’re religious or a kid. Just don’t. And stop judging me for being p.o.ed at my old musicians. It’s fun to vent. Ack.)

And no … I like bass players, I’m just a woman of contradiction. (yes, I like this broad …)

This is beautiful, by the way.

If you’re offended, I deeply apologize. And I will try to get over it.

This guy Russ Rogers who is a one-mander called Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree (who I have to call “AT” “Rocking Jamboree” (@RockingJamboree) on Twitter made a Commie-lover commie loving song on the YouTube and it’s cutecutecute! Plue he talked about me on the Twitter, which nobody does. So I watched his video and then worked on my Youtube account, then fell asleep at the cafe!

He’s got more videos on his myspace. Prolly on his legitimate site too.

Which brings up another excellent point. There’s band camp. There’s that other site that the Fu-ers (including me) are doing … That Mike Lombardo site … Too Much Awesome. After much deliberation, knowing full well that I was THIS AWESOME

{offensive video removed; inwhich I am no longer awesome}

I said I was like, a level two awesome …

Anyway … this all reminds me of this thing I used to do back when I had musicians that used to hang out with me. Before I didn’t. Even though now I do again (yay! praise be! whoooo!). I called it the Professional Underpants Group.

It’s kind of based on that urban legend, which may be true about how in those Parisian salon days they may have thrown underwear on the stage in Beatlemania-like appreciation … (here’s a good Chopin book about those times … and here’s – by the way a REALLY NEAT THING that the folks from the Piano World Forums did.).

Consequently, there’s a musical called Lisztomania. It is an “erotic, exotic electrifying rock fantasy.”

I have entered the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) contest. You don’t “get” anything if you win but satisfaction. I’m terribly nervous.

My only other attempt at a novel – a little sci-fi number called ‘Priest and Prophetess,’ was only around 23,000 words. There was probably a couple documents full of research. Maybe they each had a few thousand here and there. But there wasn’t more than 30,000 total in that whole project.

I don’t know how I’m going to do 50,000 words. That’s the requirement.

I am also trying to book more gigs. I have a first one. It’s at Westgate’s New Artist’s Market on Nov 15th, at 3pm. I haven’t played in a really long time. So this is pretty exciting. But I really need to get on the stick and book some more things.

Getting organized would be a good idea about now.

I have started publicizing these blog posts on Twitter. Sigh. This is my last ditch little effort to be cool. We’ll see how it goes. At some point I will finish writing music and maybe make some videos and stuff. I got a camera and some Worthy Ideas of Entertaining Meritoriousness.

Yeeah!

So that this post is not a complete waste of your time, I will put some goodies in here.

There’ll be something first for the Vegetarians, but if you’re not into this – when it starts smelling like Bacon … well you’d better flee! It’s all rather suggestive so if you don’t like it … bolt now

Banned Superbowl PETA add …

I included that for the Veggies among us, because you’re not going to want to see any baconwear below … it’s below the brocs

borrowed from someone's flickr

and now … check this out

yeah … it really happened

I’m not going to elaborate much. It’s not cool. But it’s time for me to get A LOT more professional about how I deal with my emotions. I’ll probably find that there will be a lot more time in my day.

In other news, here’s 10 EXCITING THINGS that have occurred.

1. I’m learning all about the II-V-I chord progression in jazz. This is basic stuff to some people, but this is stuff that I just kind of glossed over. It’s not really something I ever utilized much.

2. I finally bought a Longhorn shirt. At Academy.

3. I renewed my Austin Public Library card.

4. We went to Costco and all we got was Q-tips and Listerine.

5. When I went to the library with my friend (the massage therapist who owns the turtle), I checked out an OBSCENE number of books:

-Animal Farm, Fahrenheit 451, The Name of the Rose (Umberto Eco)

-The Lovers (Pearl S. Buck), The Good Earth (also Pearl S. Buck), Bound Feet & Western Dress, The Beauty Myth

-Jass, An Equal Music, One Bite with a Stranger, Bergdorf Blondes

6. I have till midnight to have – my Brahms Intermezzo, and I think I’m gonna do it.

7. I cleaned my fridge

8. I worked on three songs and started some new lyrics

9. I buckled and downloaded a superfluous app for loyalty points in Vampires Live

10. I got to wear long sleeves three and a half times.

I’m at my Engineer’s house. I can finally talk about him and his going-s on more freely. Like that he has a girlfriend who massages stuff. I don’t like to talk about people freely because it’s really none of other people’s business. That’s my philosophy on blogging anyway.

She actually massages people. That sounded really bad. She’s a professional. We’re all professional here.

Anyway, one of his projects is the Disciples of Sound. He’s doing their CD. He asked my opinion after he played a track. I had just gone to see them live at Headhunters a couple days ago. Headhunters is a club that is located right next to Hoboken Pies somewhere downtown. Apparently, my friend says that it’s the sweet kind of New York pie, rather than the salty one. And that the water makes the pizza. Not here in these pies, but in actual New York. I told him to bring pizza water next time he went to New York to visit his parents. I’d tell him to get his parents to bring me some pizza water, but this guy has sent his extremely classy mother my extremely UNCLASSY list of our compiled horrible band names. When they come here, they fly here in a very small plane. They think that I am weird enough.

I have this fantasy of Mike and I tossing perfect pizza in a pristine kitchen that looks like a lab though. I slide down the fireman’s pole from my library into my studio. Then I go into the conservatory (where the piano is) which is of course connected to my little studio (my studio is not very big because although I am an awesome and famous song-writer composer-performer chickie, I am kind of still a dilletante engineer – having no taste for numbers and no attention span for album names or band statistics or gear specifications). I go through the secret passageway in my conservatory into the kitchen. Why yes, it does look like the one in Clue.

The opinion I gave him on the Disciples sucked, and probably didn’t help matters at all. I can’t give a good opinion of harder bands. I’m feeling pretty shitty about my engineering skills lately you might-could-tell, which is probably why I haven’t really been on the ball about setting up my studio. The lack of fireman’s pole or secret passagway or light-filled-conservatory-with-BadAssed floor-which houses-a-Fazioli could also have something to do with this.

… I haven’t really been doing anything about anything other than learning to play jazz piano. I’m not really finishing songs. I’ve started looking at venues, but you kind of have to comit to that intention. It’s a step. People all around me are mounting major video making campaigns. I’m NOT on the band wagon. I’m freaking out about this. Ack!

But it’s good that I’m learning to play jazz piano. It’s turning me into a bad ass piano player. I know though at some point, I’m going to have to crack open Cubase and deal with my damn problems. I’m going to have to book gigs, and take photos of my self, and videotape things. And have a real recording made of myself.  And finish cleaning out those two rooms so I can put up the friggin soundproofing, which has been sitting there like a constant reminder of how I suuuuuucccckkkk.

He’s editing drums now. Not the Disciples of Sound. It’s funny how he talks. Watching him do drummy-druminator thingys (not the technical term for what he is doing, and part of my problem), leads me to understand a few key things:

1. Saying “cockn’balls a lot may turn me into a better engineer, over time.
2. I really can’t give good feedback on stuff that is “heavy  music.” Seriously. I have nothing meaningful to say. I just smile and look like I have the IQ of a champagne grape. This will not turn me into a better engineer, over time.
3. It would be real helpful if I had two large monitors in my life because having everything out on huge-o screens it AWESOME for big, fat editing.
4. I’m happy I’m a Steinberg girl still (even though I know not what I am doing), and ProTools can still suckit.
5. I LOOOOVVVVEEEE Leslie speakers