a blog i should have not posted.

1. I dropped my cookie in my coffee and it disintegrated.
2. I want a piece of cake and mexican coke for lunch, and probably vodka and ciggies too; but these are not healthy choices and will not improve my range or my carriage and demeanor. I think the Lunar Army are probably making Preemptive Strikes, because my moods are variable and Inconsistent. If you don’t like to hear about this, get off my blog.
3. that was squirchy, wasn’t it. Nothing I say is coming out right today. I sound like a bad transmission.
4. I’m behind on my work.
5. I’ll just get my things and go …. :/

bunch of stuff.

1. I am SILLY behind on my blog-thing-lets. And music-stuff-lets. Also my house is a mess, and I got food poisoning trying to make cookies. I cleverly neglected to tell my roommate this, and he does not read my blog (this will be the one time he does, and then he will say something about me eating raw cookie dough because I strutted around like a Superdough Eating Cookie Hero (what?!?!)). oh! that reminds me! I forgot to put up the photos of Couch Kitty and I that I took when we were trying to get the vocals done for ‘It Always Gets Better.’ I am SOOOOO forgetful!!!

2. I have:
-Blogathon coming up at the end of April.
-Nur Ein coming at the middle of April
-ongoing stuff happening with Psychotics because it’s going too well not too keep going on with it.
-stuff I really need to finish that I’m in the middle of doing for some other online friends that they’ve probably lost all hope of me ever completing. This is for like three different projects.
3. I have a million blog entries to tag. I tagged some poems in my blog with the tag “poetry” and immediately people started looking at my blog. Activity on my blog increased by a substantial amount. I started thinking “I wonder what would happen if I started including photographs and tagging and tweeting and doing lots of stuff for ALL my entries ALL the time and just really linking stuff really well and publicizing things a lot better.” I realized I may be onto something there because my content, I think, is of pretty high quality and people seem to have a good time dealing with me when forced to hang out in my Precidence. That’s not even a word, but that is how the oatmeal sprinkles, my ducklings.
4. I’m just not that much of a hat person anymore, I realized yesterday.
5. Here is a photo of fluffy’s book which I am reading. more news on that when I have finished it. I was very excited when it came in the mail:

I am really incredibly tired and should tag and link this up. So I’m going to sacrifice any further content for cool-a-bility. Which is killing me. Well, I’ve linked up. So I will now make up a word.

Florkus.

Swimming Pools. Movie Stars.

“i hate the swimming pool,” you say
disdainfully to me
as I’m sitting on the front porch swing,
thinking casually all my random thoughts
…so I, surprised, pull from my time
to validate your entry
to my peace of mind.

i notice, then, that you are wearing
Swimming Trunks!
i open up my yap
to comment to this fact …
but pause …
(We know how You get
concerning
Things Like That! -)

so I
projected what you’d say
by remembering our past
like when you’d call a toad a road
or … label a spade a jack
or say Nobody Died
when all the flags fly at half mast.

Instead
(triumphant at my foresight),
I say,
“perhaps…don’t go in swimming!”

I settle back…so satisfied…

You’re indignant.
You ignore my carefully thought out suggestion.
(…usually you DO respond to Everything I say………..)

The front porch is a prison.

I walk to clear my mind.

…alone though all the garden
remembering greener times

Then I hear some revelry
and see through eyes (deceiving me?)
a pair of carefree …Business Trunks
-cavorting through a Concrete Sea.
(with Mermaids in Attendance).

(i wondered why I bothered, once again to split the difference)

You look at me like chocolate cake
You say “come in! the water’s fine!”
I say, “no thanks. My ship awaits.
The wormhole closes half-past-nine…”

**************************************

I put this photo in because I am squinkily looking askance at something (yes, I had to spell check that. don’t judge). Also, I have lost my Red Glasses, so hopefully if I post something with them on that is putting out into the Universe and the Lost Item-Finder Goblins that I would like them Relocated Post-Haste-o.

the deep eternity

in a blue sea of stars
voices who do not know why
sounding like those they left behind -
not quite knowing why they chime
so side by side…
they meet and harmonize.

EXCUSES WITH FRIENDS

I am behind in words with friends. This is because I am compiling a Dictionary of Unfairness. This is being posted here, and was also posted on my page at Facebook. not on my “official Facebook page,” which is sort of a shame, or even on my blog Facebook page, which honestly I don’t really know why I have one. I feel like I should produce Original Content for that, but the thought of this makes my earlobes wobble.

It doesn’t. But you believed me for a second….

Anyway… I’m sorry if you have to read this twice. Except, on reflection, I’m not really; I went back and rewrote this introduction so you the reader would know that I do very much Care. Also, I think reading a dictionary will do you a heap of good. It’s time to learn, goblins.
(I called y’all goblins on spacehook too – if there’s any Y’all here…)

WORDS WITH FRIENDS, UNFAIRNESS-ED they TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE COUNTED and WOULD HAVE on XONDOR my HOME PLANET.
(not necessecelery in order, because it doesn’t “go” as well that way.)

Adaht
similar to the tango

Heisune
phase of moon

Hemoni
a forest of mean, mean trees with bad attitudes.

Teele
one of the smaller units of Xondorian currency

Thule
a tool similar to a hammer and a chisel

Eleth
a tool often used in combination with the Thule.

Tuleh
a Courtship dance

Ethele
a non-reactive, and indeed, tasty and nutritious chemical compound native to Xondor which tastes of butter and chocolate. It nonetheless becomes flammable when combined with the milk of Earthling cows.

Leethe
A native Xondorian biped resembling a lavender colored ostrich with spindly legs and Rather Flat feet. With a long Slender neck like a giraffe and long floppy ears.

Leethi
The plural form of Leethe

Apa
a small colorful bird about the size of a cherry that lives symbiotically on the lush fur of the Leeth.

Peuma
How you bid farewell to a gambler who has won the Center Sweep. Never while either party’s back is turned.

Eomen
a guild of clairvoyant magic sages and tellers of fortunes making their home in and around the Squirkesian wetlands in strange, difficult to find houses.

Mapol
The proper term for a grouping of leethi
as in
… ‘a Mapol of Leethi migrating through the Great Hemoni during Second Triple Heisune is considered an auspicious sign by the Eomen.’

vonc
a light swear word, often used as a replacement for other more vulgar terms.

smoat
my husband says this is a carbohydrate attack. I think that’s a stretch

nohovump
when something is really quite a stretch

zive
a Baroque danse similar to the Sarabande, except that one can moonwalk to it.

epemey
the amused, yet mildly agitated apathy preceding feelings of truly affronted and pre-revolutionary Vigor and Zeal.

ps. I’m thinking of doing something with my notes, and perhaps even all these lists. we may discuss this, you (my adorking public) and I, (who am me (WHAT?!?)) on this here blogittyblogMCblogaDongaDingDong.

#putmeoutofmymisery.

words in-bold-end

i’ve never known
grindstone. churned.
i just worked
sun. lies. burned.
i just trusted
slowly. learned.
so tie loose ends up
with this
ribbon unravelling…
at the end
for my beginning
All is known
in time for nothing

who rules the school then..?

a friend of mine is having a fru-klunksy day. she writes and adores punctuation (she probably also likes Proper Capitalization, but that is neither-here-nor-there-zi-toad…#orizit …).
Anyway. This is a quick afternoon poem I jotted down on the Misbehaving Cylon McSmackbook for her.

**********

semicolon

because your day is bad…
you may forget to understand
(that)
words
go
everywhere your feet dance

..they leak from the furniture
-the calming of dilemmas
-magic potatoes
-page turns go quicker

….you gather loose ends.

i don’t think like this -

and i never will.

some people’s punctuation has wings.
some people’s stands still.

but yours carries thinking along,
seducing the parlance;

completing the marathon of a stand-still
if given merely half a chance.

Overlord-in-Training

1. interesting discussion on Facebook about how the gentle manipulation of humans may be a positive thing…hmmm. I will get back to you on this.
2. I have two tasks to complete. Then there will be NO EXCUSE not to move on to the FINAL FRONTIERS of ROOM CLEANSING and COMPUTER DOMINATION…
3. my bathroom is atrocious. I’m seriously from a poisonous species. You do not want to know me. No. Get out. I am serious. It’s better this way……(cue sadViolins)
4. I’m thinking of avoiding the Internet but that actually feels ill-advised and irresponsible. Addictive Internet behavior and compulsive negativity does not mean one needs to quit blogging and withdraw one’s President-ence. I just need to go back to the practicing.
5. I have a thought that I might like to bake this weekend, so that Cake-like-Birthday-product may be had. Also Birthday boy (birthdays last a week!) will get to pick his dessert..
6. We are going on a barbecue trip tomorrow (Saturday). We’ll most likely make a video as well we haven’t done that in forever. I know I keep saying that, but No! I mean it!, and it is True! …you mark my words … you mark my words …
7. I will now take a short pause to rub my hands together nefariously. I will take a photograph of myself doing so, ever mindful of the fact that on Twitter we are talking mildly about Narcisstic ReTweeting. When I am Queen, we shall retweet EVERYTHING I decree. Even my BLINKING shall be reTWEETABLE.
8. Calm down. OMG…I’m totally KIDDING. I have no idea what kind of mood I’m in …but NO…everytime I type something into Twit-deck, I do NOT require an advertisement for a magic iPhizzle. No THANK you, green-egg-icon-space-bot. Gettenzie-a-life!!!!!
Here is my Fetching Series of Photographs, oh People of the Screen….gaze and B A-Mazed.

(Really, I just end up laughing at my own stupidity at the end, as my Hatched Plan does not come to Fruition.)

[LATER EDIT.... did I spell "narcisscisstictytic wrong? Probobably. Oh whale. This is the way the detergent gets in our cherry soda. Flarg.]

getting away with it …

I have a lot to say and weird freaky energy coming at me, and away from me; in all directions. It’s been rough to center myself but I am getting to a point where it’s becoming more and more obvious that I need to do so.

Suddenly, today-yesterday, after weeks-months-a year or two-days of feeling easily distracted and confused…I felt centered. It was so fast. It happened in such an unexpected way. I read something that I expected would make me gasp and have that feeling of swallowing a hot, heavy rock. I know the feeling well now. I don’t care anymore.

It didn’t. I calmly read everything on the Internet on this, the first day of Hideous Girl Time; and then practiced piano.

I don’t really care. And I don’t even care that saying I don’t care makes it sound like I care. I’m saying it because I’m so glad for the lack of noise and anyone who reads this who loves me and truly gives a s4it about my music – who truly remembers me and what I am trying to do…they will know that it’s such a big thing that I can hear myself think.

I am a person who can withstand a lot of tension. I think it’s because I feel like I’m not really dealing with much. I discount my own experience a lot and allow myself to be erased. I think that’s what that poem was about, the other day; me editing myself away … simply, there is so much material on my computer and so many blog entries I don’t push ‘Enter’ for. I think, “what will people think of me?”

Now there’s something to be said for discretion, and I find a lack of subtlety as distasteful as anyone. There’s something to be said for dealing with your own pain in your own way. But there’s also something to be said for not letting vast packs of wild Creatures of different sorts run amok with your heart.

I like propriety and I get embarrassed being attached to things that make a scene. As I age, I come to understand more and more that preferring to be an Under the Radar person is good…when you match up with another under the radar person. I jump at the slamming of doors. I like the quiet.

I was told once I was going to have to get used to stirring things up. I think there’s got to be another way. I think one can be calmly provocative. I think that when I drive myself to discomfort through trying to please…that I just drive myself crazy and I drive others away. I attract only those people who want some strange half-me that can reflect them back to themselves.

I’ve never been able to sustain that long enough to fool anyone that I’ve changed into a version of a Me that they’d rather me be. A little nip there, a little color just here and there. Wear this, do that. Don’t say this don’t be that. You’d sound better THAT way.

Nope.

I don’t DO society and I have known this since I was a child.

The trouble is, this is all such a hipster thing to say…to claim you are unique as you put on your funky glasses and Different Shoes and slurksy vest and go emoo-ing through the sullen world in which your bleak black souls resides.
I know I’ve been saying this stuff for a while like a broken record.

But as I shiver here in the damn cold, I feel there is a way out and I do indeed see light at the end of a horrible, freezy, hateful, mean little tunnel.

And this makes me feel like I finished quietly digging under the prison, successfully getting away with it.

being mx. xondor. mz.Thang!!

useful words I made for a slow day

1. fl’anger: little tiny flurffs of passive aggressive steam let off online; to take the pressure off (not to be confused with a FLANG{ER}, which I think is a sound effect used by the combination of infinitesimal delay and chorus-type things to vary the tops and bottoms of your envelope, I think… it can go WHRONNNNG if you like.)
2. flurff: a unit of emotion
3. sklorg: the sense of nauseating unfairness that crushes your soul when someone has metaphorically eaten your adorable chocolate bunny; and the entire World is cheering them on Whilst it is being Done to you.
4. zwip: a philosophy of happy calm realism that allows one to roll with all Punches.
(husband wants to know if there shall be a book called ‘Zwip and the Art of Motorcycle Repair’)
5. shoggs: shoes that have suffered a Dastardly Puddle Invasion
6. blurgged: you sat in a puddle. In jeans. So this describes you now.
(I didn’t though. I just thought I’d clarify! Nor did I step in a puddle)
5. stoozered: “Jay said ‘Den go to bed’ and she was right ‘cuz I’m *stoozered*…but I finished my work anyway…” (jay did not say that in this Particular Instance but would have had she thought to Do So)
this means too tired to work but Pressing on to the Finish.

those are some words. there will be more later. I am sleepy now.
Here is a medium -sized photo of a little Lego farmer being abducted by aliens for your Viewing Pleasure…