1. i am kinda bummed out today.
2. i have had a lot of successes.
3. it seems that my successes are always tinged with a little bit of toughness and some other stuff on the side.
4. i am very hungry right now.
5. try as i might, i can’t make a panda bear into a bunny rabbit.
6. i can’t expect people to be sweet on me just because i write songs about dessert. i’m a piglet, that is just my way. apparently, it’s hardly a singular phenomenon.
7. you can’t teach an old piano a new tempo.
9. the covalent bond that holds the hydrogen atoms to the oxygen one is always going to be the same. it’s not going to change. there is nothing to be done about this. so there are certain universal truths. and you can’t force chemistry. ain’t gonna happen.
10. i am feeling rather dehydrated, come to think of it. you get that way when the psycho state you live in has had the blight that was prayed for sent upon it finally.
11. Number Eleven is redacted because it was snarky and surly and I’m better than that. I notice I had to tell you that I was being snarky though, so I guess I am not QUITE over myself. GRRRR.
12. Communication skills. They’re what’s for dinner! 
Archive for September, 2011
I had the most horrible dreams last night. The kind of dreams that make you sit up and say, “you are going to lose everything if you keep on like this.” It was pretty freaky.
I know it’s true, because songwriting and making work has either been going really easily or really poorly. I’m at that point where I think I need to listen to my body.
I get tempted to think that the beautiful things need to go on forever, are forever. I get absolute – want to believe in fate and destiny. You can get me to see karma in the similar way our pancake syrup swirls together… that we are meant to write songs together, perhaps. Possibly even if you are *not even a songwriter* I’ll think destiny formed us from the same rock. I’m a magical creature who doesn’t come from this earth. If you want something from me there’s a LOT of ways to get it. I like to think though that this gives me a certain unforgettable taste. That I am silly and gullible, but creative and loving and sacrificial and fun. I will make my stay in your project something memorable.
Of course I have to stop beating myself up about this chemistry thing!
I am this way. Maybe this is not the case. I am sleepy now. I will get back to it. Maybe my dreams will improve. I will pick up the pieces. I have a lot to write about.
Maybe I’m just not right for everyone. Or for everyone all the time. It’s okay, because it seems that there is a bit of me to go around for everyone and if there’s too much it loses something.
That’s how musiclovestuff works.
Geez… I’m such a silly sappy poetry-writing nerd………..
I’m gonna go strum a harp on a golden stairway or something. In a toga. Or a slinky nightgown. Or clothed in the scratchy sweater of sarcasm and the tweed slacks of irony (what?!?!).
#eyeroll.
1. Tis pancake time!!!
2. my tummy feels hurty and I’m a little sullen and blue. I want to make fun of some scrunchy faced blueberries I guess!!! Scrunch them with my fork!!
3. Thought about travel this morning and realized I have millions of flyer miles. I have a while to think about it. I could go to Paris, but do not know French. I have always wanted to go to the Far East. We NEED to go to Australia and New Zealand and tickets are free if I spend miles. It’s kind of a no brainer. But then I shall probably not go anywhere else as long as I live!
4. I am going to Songfight Live though… in 2012. Will make this regular now…
5. I get to play with VSTs all day!
6. that is not what she said.
7. when I do anything of merit I swear I’ll post it! this is starting to be a blog about nothing!!! Here is a fun photo to wash it down with.
It’s a cotton candy flavored lollipop from the other day. It was actually labeled “Mystery Flavor” – but I wonder … what is the NAME for people who dislike blue food? Because the thing with blue food seems to be a thing! And it’s just blue food… Not red or green or purple or orange or anything else!
Who knows these things?
ps. Mike said he’d play me some jazz today. His music picks have been hit-win all week
1. I tried to write a post before and ended up just uploading a photo of my aluminum foil robot:
2. I wonder if this confused some of you!
3. Couch Kitty and the Cylon have taken their relationship “to the next level.” I’ve become concerned and have tried to intervene; but clearly this is a love which knows no boundaries. It matters not that Cylon is a Smackbook Pro and Couch Kitty is, well, a cat. True Love finds ways.
4. On that note, I am dragging the Cylon from its twitterpated stupor to do more organizing because I have a love affair with some overdue projects I have with some friends who’d just love to see me complete some work.
5. Am going to be recording all week! Yay!! Very exciting!
6. I had an ice cream coffee drink today and shouldn’t have.
7. One of the things making me perplexed and a tad cross is the self adjusting cylonic volume in hangouts in Google+. I think the Cylon is perhaps distracted by feline romance.
Who knows these things?
1. I’m doing a little open-y mic-y thing-y tonight. I’m on the website. I don’t know how many songs I am meant to play but I s’poze I’d better get going.
2. I need to update my bio page on this thing.
3. i have a robot ring. it kind of resembles MC Frontalot, except with girl-glasses. Also, he’s not blue and doesn’t have a square head. So I guess he doesn’t.
4. I am going to have to tag this blog better.
5. Blogathon is so totally coming up!
6. I need to start getting gigs and like, promoting myself.
7. I sound really flaky and stuff. I’m not, I’m just anxious and shy. I could barely talk to the waitress today until she actually brought a large salted pretzel to the table. TO THE TABLE.
I didn’t know we were allowed to have those at restaurants. And ice cream in beer. I love you Flying Saucer.
And I’m an alien from the planet Xondor as well.
Perhaps I should put pictures up of the cigar galaxy to make my blog pretty. I wonder if the Earthling Space Patrol People would let me do that…
I got a bit sick off sweeties today. This is odd coming from the Queen of All that is Cupcake and Grand Celebrant of Jarritos. No matter, I am sure that the sugar-love will surge all the higher coming up soon, as our travelling musicians once again make their trek to the Renaissance Festival held in the Magical Forest.
(too graphic? no matter. try living here. i swear these are not literal metaphors.)
I have been waiting for an artistic breakthrough that is meant to help me organize my computer and my life and get started on stringing together my book and its scenes and the songs and all the things that are Not Well Meshing and nothing was really working.
I finally have it. The missing piece of the puzzle. I did an amazed dance when I made it up.
I should have known too. All it was was a character.
It’s weird too, because it was a character I made for a songfight song. I ended up not submitting the song. I want a little more time with her
1. it smells like nice rain!
2. I had popcorn but it wanted some butter. Or cheese.
3. Porch Kitty is licking my big toe.
4. I love nicknames
5. I really need to make pretty toes again
6. I’ve been reading my book and I’m over identifying with my characters for the longest time. Usually, this is not problematic; my songs are all mostly-autobiographical.
7. the bird out here is real annoying.
8. I have created a character that will solve my problems!
9. I recorded two pretty things today!
10. I am wearing a purple skirt and a pink top and my favorite beaded earrings and red wood necklace thing.
that is all.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
1. got lots to do today! go-go-go!
2. I feel real good I am really thankful for the way things are going and I think that no matter what people say things will get better and better.
3. I know exactly why things went NOT good in the past. I KNOW that not every situation is the same.
I believe in magic again. I believe in myself. And that feels so good.
Someday, I think I’ll be able to charge my own batteries. For now, I’m going to look up at the sky and give thanks for the things that are sent my way in a just-in-time type-way. Because I get almost-broken and then at the eleventh hour I don’t fall apart.
I think there’s a reason that I put that phoenix on my back, and not in that spot everyone makes fun of. But even if I put a sparkly unicorn that said “I heart America” on my lower back above where my pink thong might sit (I do not own a pink thong) – what is it to you?
I think it’s because I am getting to the point where I can go out and really just NOT care. And I know that it will happen faster and faster everytime until I am impervious to long bouts of pain and that this is what I am being trained for. Some people are naturals at keeping negativity at bay, and I admire them for it. People do try to hurt and sabotage you because it is in their nature to bring their sad reality to your door once you have brought light and love and your silly dreams into their life. Not all people, but some sad, unfortunate souls who cannot let you have a moment of “I just accomplished something” without a one-upper moment or who can’t let you have done them a favor without peeing all over you and taking your nice gesture away.
Even if they are permanent fixtures and there to stay. Sometimes you are just to threatening to people. Never forget this if you are a person who walks around when by yourself generally not with a High Level of Fear over when you will succeed or fail. If you go to see a show or if you read a book and do not turn green thinking that the person you have encountered will destroy you, if you think there is enough room for you too – you are not a destroyer of love.
Because there are many types of jealousy. There’s the CONQUER CONQUER I must have EVERYTHING and YOURS TOO-kind. and there’s the “I must hold on desperately to what I have because even though it LOOKS like mine it will get stolen from me just like ALL the other times” Kind.
Both things come from fear of annihilation. And the only cure for these is to eat the sun. Because the sun is a constantly replenishing source. So surround yourself with people who have also eaten sunlight. Because they have nothing to fear from you and they will kiss you and you can eat their sun and then spread like love all over the earth.
About obliterative evil, children. You learn about this in recovery programs. It’s the lobster in the bucket thing.
I am not a natural fighter of negativity, so I must be trained to take my space and say “ha, ha!” I must not care and I must laugh always at the reactions I cause in others.
Particularly if they are so strong that they seek to derail me and then quickly scurry into the night like frightened children “who-me-ing” as if they were never there.
Ha, ha. How silly. How rude.
Poor little you.
I hope you wake up and that there is sun. And that then it rains. And that flowers grow. And that it is sunlight and many 63-76 degree days.
(the you is a general you. because i have some general you’s that have bothered to make me generally happy lately, and I am generally grateful for being made to feel specifically special).
I’m going to go write a Really Good Bridge now that I have finished my blog.
1. What I don’t know about the French culture and it’s Language and People* could fill a river bed the size of the Seine (NOT pronounced See-un, or Sign, as in “Here’s Your Sign!”).. then to flow into the sea.
2. I have been working on lyrics for THIS tune for literally, days. I have finally gotten them.
3. I smell like a desperate weasel. This is okay because my roommate has just gotten back from Burning Man (pictures forthcoming) less than a week ago. He smells like playa. Which smells like roommate and desert mixed together to form a congeal-y paste that does not sparkle. I am learning lots about life once again.
4. I have been practicing every day. And I just got my recording done today. I just thought of something. Generally everything I’ve sent through has gotten lots of approval lately. I think this is because I sound like Real Me more and more all the time.
5. I am going to completely clean everything today. No. It’s TRUE! Laundry as well! Why are you ROTFLing? Seriously? Ack to you!
6. This song made me feel really stupid and I think that any mystique I might have had as a human being is totally gone. For like, a lot of people.
7. I want to be alone. That’s probably why I drove around yesterday for a bit and listened to the Dixie Chicks again. I don’t feel like apologizing for this so I won’t. One should never apologize for the Dixie Chicks. Or for wearing Halloween Kitty Ears.
8. I might be hungry. I think I’m just dirty though.
9. I need to wash my face and probably just shower, which will feel nice. I have to go see what these cat noises mean first tho.
10. A lot of tmi today. hmm.
*tongue in cheek link, phrase, or title. Just sayin’*
1. Blogathon is fast approaching.
2. I have not put out any solo material in For-Ev-Er.
3. I am at an impasse in many situations. I enjoy Strawberries. These thoughts seem unrelated, but are not. Not quite.
4. My Odd Blog and Other Social Networking Situations have mysteriously resolved themselves, almost as if by Strange Fairy Magic. This is simultaneously relieving, Curious, suspicious, ironic, and Boring.
I am grateful for this because suddenly I find I am getting work done like a normal person and that making lists has become easy and drama free.
5. Bananas make you feel mysterious and alluring, even if they are not at their peak stage of ripeness.
6. Pears are not as terrible when utilized in sushi. It may sound weird, but there it is.
7. MINI LIST OF REVIEW-y TYPE THINGS I MUST DO:
-my Hair Person.
-my new friend who makes sushi and is a L-E-G-E-N-D
-the latest songfight which is going to be a huge pain and that I don’t think I will get done but I’m starting to slip off the grid there again and only my collab is really keeping me around and my lurking interest in other people. I’ve always lurked and listened.
-a couple albums that I have heard lately.
8. I must deal with the fact that all my writing places have gone into shambles and so are all the places where I reside.
9. I need to practice now.
10. I must pick up this place out of whine-sville where it also currently sits and take it to another place.
I have photographs to post and other stuff to organize.
I had fun at the amusement park and lots to say about that! I could write for DAYS!!!!!
[ADDENDUM: When I say I must do these review-y type things, I mean the reviews for the reviewy type things. I think grammar shot me in the foot on that one. if you are giggling, stop it.]
