Archive for June, 2010

1. It was a really long weekend. But I got through it unscathed.
2. The recording session with Ed was fun, but Ed is always tons of fun.
3. I’m hoping stuff picks up around here soon, but that’s really up to me.
4. I am very tired because I had really awful dreams last night. I think my climate is starting to affect me.
5. I’m sad, but it will pass. I’m a big girl and I know how to get my ducks in a row.
6. Lots of big good change on the horizon. I’m grateful for it.
7. I am so glad for lists and am so ready to fix stuff.

stick to facts go back to practice.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I’ve turned right back around to come home.

Yeah… um… right.

As far as being done with the Internet goes (as I bemoaned on Twitter) and-yet-Im-still-blogging…

well I guess Im inconsistent.

And I don’t give a flying assgoblin.

Perhaps inconsistency is a family trait.

Of course….. I’m just feeling a little sick this evening is all

:) :) :) :)

I’m sure my attitude will improve.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

This is a poem I wrote a while-while back…
It’s loud and I need to think for a while. For a while I shall do family things. And I will probably write a song, just for me.
I’m tired of the noisy-noiseMcnoise. It’s too much stimulation. “I’m sensitive and I’d like to stay that way.” (JK)

People living comfortably
under their little glass ceilings
will never leave their houses;
that’s what you’ve got me feeling.
I’ll never leave; you’ve got me boxed in
– oh yes im trapped in 
your encampment, basically.

Fact o’ the matter?
it’s a glass roof that won’t shatter with the hardest stone
I was almost okay with who i had become
But i know i am am not chosen because i’m standing awkward; and i’m kind of funny to point at
when they don’t wanna blame the folks at home.

You’ve won of course
My breathing has flown far
It’s sucked life from the earth under my feet
My resolve has become this
hot little acorn of hidden hatred
I nuture inside me

You’ve won both battle and war
Can I find a way to rebuild my country?
make the poor eat again
make the summer turn to fall and the good things grow ..?
Well that’s debatable

The bible blames cain
and the cains will blame eve
and eve blames the snake
and the snake blames her mate 
the one with his thumbs in the pie
on the decorative plate
rummaging round for the fruits
the fruits, the fruits
which should never’ve been baked

Did you know about this
when I asked you to dance?
when I asked for your hat?
were you sizin’ it up?
Did you know about that?

Writing songs of kings and queens
to people who think they’re royalty
I think -
Who does these things? These thnigs you do …
Who cares?! You aren’t listening.
Ten or twenty songs and thirty dances humble pie and thirty blackbirds -
1 awful week and; 
at the 11th hour
no one’s paying me 
to think. I think you’re missing 
a few screws 
that would tell you 
who you used to be -
Who does these things? These things you do …
Unspeakable embarassing things; things the bourgeois princesses and princes of some creepy monarchy would do
Who does these things? These things you do; you do
these things so casually, like I’m part of something …
A king that’s coming on the wings of glory – yeah he’s often painted up to look like you.
If you were me you would leave forever, too.


Finally, a list HERE

1. I haven’t been listing, or blogging, here.
2. I have HELLA family videos that are like freak-a-ton funny. I’m gonna try to post them up in chronological order.
3. I have this wacky idea of making my ‘Invisible Girl’ video part of a trilogy set of videos with two of my Nur Ein videos. I just am not sure how to film the third one.
4. I get so JEALOUS of other musicians sometimes. And that’s really not like me. It’s not a part of me that I like. I’m one of those people that thinks there really is enough room for everyone to succeed.
5. I think it’s a lipstick day out today. The sun is gorgeous and I feel fun and neat and flirty and not all middle aged on days like that. I like it :)
6. I might record something later today, if there is time, but I do have family in town

I have so much to tell but I gotta go. My sister-in-law is calling!

Loveyoubyebye :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Chelsea De-list #1

Well, I said that when Chelsea blogged her numbers that I would support her by listing. And I’m going to do it. This is because Chelsea is neatomosquito, and I am her fan, and I think “that when she grows up” (ha, ha) she should have a talk show, or be on the news or something. Or the radio. Because she’s rad. She’s my favorite Tweeter, prolly. I always Forget to FollowFriday her, but that’s probably because I think FollowFriday is silly.

So, since it’s silly saturday, I’ll start this off. Or maybe I’ll post something for silly saturday on my twitter. We’ll see …

Anyway. Chelsea’s Post number one.

BEST FRIENDS. I will do 1-6 since she did six. I have chosen to fill six spots and I will randomly fill them will content/concepts rather than people. This is because this concept has really morphed throughout my life … since I am an old woman. Chelsea is 19. I am 36. So I can confidently say that stuff has changed and I am NOT who I was when I was her age. That’s part of the reason that I find her and some of her buds so fascinating, I s’pose.

1. HUSBAND: I got married twelve years ago, when Chelsea was seven. Ack. It’s okay. I’ve had plenty of time to get to know THIS MAN. I would have to say that we know each other enough that I would do some seriously illegal stuff for him. And that I should proably not disclose that on a blog. So I’m totally just kidding, and this is just for the purposes of hyperbole. If someone turns up missing, he TOTALLY did it. Particularly if it’s me. Look in the backyard.

OMG, I’m totally kidding. Here’s one of our more charming videos to try to explain our relationship.

2. BROTHERS: I have brothers. I am riddled with brothers. My mother had two boys, and then it just escalated. I have three stepbrothers. I adopted another brother during a series of rooftop bonding sessions culminating in a bizarre branding ritual that only we understand.

I will come back and post a video for my brother’s birthday soon, but it’s not done yet so soon, soon …..

3. “OURS” : Mike and I have people that we kinda claim. They’re ours. We keep them and they are here. Christian (my brother mentioned above with the branding) is one of those. Randall is becomming that way though. He lives here, in my mind. He doesn’t, but he does. This is where he belongs. There’s a place here where Drew goes too. They are our people.

4. WOMEN: I have some women in my life that I really value. It’s hard for me to talk about the women. I keep them close by, in case of emergency. It’s like a pack.

5. I have some long-standing relationships that are epic in scope and will last for lifetimes. The are category-less and boundless. There are a handful of people I can think of that I have taken with me from places I’ve been involved with; starting with school and going onward from place to place. I kept a few high school friends, some college folks.

Rebekah, Jenny, AJ (my friend of the stoplight/unicycling incident fame), Somer, Liz (who married my brother). Jen and Alan. I’ve made Jay. There’s some good people who have fallen off the face who I really miss too.

6. MUSIC: I’m collaborate, and this is very important. I’m a nester, and very social. And yet, I’m socially freaked out, and very shy about getting out there. The TMA thing has been REALLY great. Getting involved in a new band has been stellar. I have really understated how nice it’s been to play with John. And it’s been really nice to do al this collaborating with Joe. Perhaps someday we’ll be able to get stuff together and finish. There is definately a lot of mutual regard, I think. This is how the collaborations that I have that go well with people really have worked. When there is a chemistry based on a need to protect and serve the other person a little bit, but also a need to achieve for yourself.

Anyway. That’s it for now. More when I’m told there’s more out there.

Really, this is just a gratuitous excuse to list up. And avoid my work. Although I have done lyrics.

an actual list. with numbers

1. still at the cafe. one of my stripper songs(#2 ..bottom of page) is playing. I’m hoping that this is not a sign.

2. am trying NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT.

3. am slowly LOSING MY MIND.


5. need to concentrate on just one thing.

6. ten windows open in my current browser windows. This is not the only blog entry I’m working on in THIS blog either. What is wrong with me? What am I freaking out about?

7. I’m listening to some song about being fifteen and thinking that the boy who tells you he loves you … well … loves you … sounds like an abstinance song to me. I realize that I am not entirely sure how to spell “abstinance.” But this doesn’t mean that I think that you should go giving your hearts away “willy nilly” to any “young whipper snapper” who plays your “stripper song.” Or that I approve of the use of language such as “willy nilly” or “whipper snapper.”

8. Good grief, I’m in the beyond. This could be because I’m trying to work with this on overhead.

9. Also … sometimes… I just want to say… come on Bon Jovi, I expect more. It could be because of my twitchytwitch McMoodister

10. I need to start tagging, but right now my organizational-ness is out of control. I’ll get better soon (here’s to hopin’)


I am at a cafe. I like ze cafe. Yessssss….

This one is called The Bakehouse. I am here working and mainlining coffee. I think that since Les Amis shut down off campus in the late 90s, which is a damn shame because it was the sexiest coffee shop in all of the galaxy, it now has the best coffee in the city which can be procured at a cafe. I don’t know why this is. I know that the best we make at home is because we get it at Third Coast Coffee. I heard that you get the best coffee at Star Seeds Cafe, but that info was deadity-dead-dead-wrong. I am Not just Saying That because I am a South Austinite that breaks out into skeevy hives whenever I cross over the bridge and really twitches when I get up near 2222 (pronounced “twenty-two, twenty-two;” and not “Route two thousand, two hundred and twenty-two” or “two-two-two-two” or “quad two” or “RouteWhateverMonkey”)

I will say though, that the coffee was functional and comforting at Star Seeds, and not bitter and angry making. Sometimes the coffee at Opal’s makes me angry and they mess it up. I don’t usually care though because I am also drinking a bloody mary and having fantastic migas so it’s fine.

Enough food talk. I’m having turkey reuben guilt. It’s because I’m a $&%^* vegetarian. I’ve been backsliding. I do that when… uh … Mission Control has to give my inner Strawberry Shortcake doll a hall pass during Fifth Period.


It’s my blog. Ohwhale.

Speaking of whale… whatup with the fail whale? And whaddup with me CARING about the presence of the Twitter Fail Whale, caring enough about it to ask that question, or living in a society where that comes up? I need to get back to work. Or I’m going to have to go to walden pond again or something. Watch me. I’ll do it. I have all but stopped the morning pages. I NEVER blogged my morning pages, or ANY of my old diaries either, and I was MUCH more productive then.

Okay bloglings, I digress … and why shouldn’t I?

(when you start quoting your own song lyrics-and speaking of avoidance, it’s because you are avoiding doing your own dishes. Don’t let anyone tell you any different).


Color of the Day: a fetching shade that isn’t quite pink… OR purple

Song of the Day: Pretty Noise (Governing Dynamics).
…. wow. there’s either a travisnorrissong for everyone or he just crawled into my head. and his voice is just so interestingly!

Quote of the Day: “Turns out that taking candy from a baby isn’t as easy as it sounds.” (Rhod Durre of Godz Poodlz)

#Spintunes Progress: about 49% done-ish. give or take a version or two. Maybe

HOUSE: best not to talk about it.

Lists: in shambles.

my listy mclist-isterness

I make lists. I like them.

I don’t talk much about Austin, but I did on a list and maybe I should have done it here. I’m a bit lazy about talking about my Austin life here even though I s’pose I’m sposssed too. I’ll try to do a post that talks more about my Austin people in a more Austin-centric way later. I’ll talk about Brett’s show maybe on Saturday. I need to start being more bloggy, I s’pose. It’s hard when this is what you do for worky-work (insert racuous laughter).

I also don’t really care all that much about spelling as I am a songwriter and also do not care about singing things right as long as I sing them in an entertaining and Charismatic fashion which is also quite Nifty.

I like to capitalize nouns and sometimes also adjectives. This is not because I am trendy or worshipping Travis Norris (not that there is anything wrong with worshipping any of the Trav-umvirate), who I wrote a watermelon song for.


I wanna make a list here but also I’m not in the mood.

Speaking of work, it’s a whole lotta unpaid WORK to cull through the unpaid WORK in this town and then realize you’re going to have to try to think of something that will get you paid when you are a social mutant who is pocket and does not mix well with others. Or make something up. And if all avenues are exhausted you’ll have to find a job. Or do #thatthingyourenotverygoodat … which will probably result in deaths. Or at the very best, lawsuits.

I feel sometimes as though I have rehearsed my whole life for something that no one really wants me to do all that much. #kicksrock

It doesn’t really matter though. I’m going to petulantly continue doing it anyway. So I suppose I should get off the interwebs.

1. The unmistake-able smell of cat poo has wafted around to where I am. I’m hoping it’s just decoy smell from rain. Nope … there it is again. I’m blaming Domina again. It’s roachy out here and I’m feeling surly and like I don’t like the outdoors anymore. She just woke up again. Yeah. I’m talking to YOU …

2. I typed the word ‘again’ too many times in the previous number, but I’m not going to apologize for it. Perhaps the word ‘again’ was not represented enough today, and it needed a little more love, or something. Hell, I don’t know. I don’t make the rules! Who knows these things?!

3. I’m tired of Twitter. I can’t keep up with it. I’ve lost the will to Twlive (that sounded a lot cooler in my head than it did written out).

3. Sometimes I do other lists too. I did one at the place where all the TMA folks ran off to.

4. I really need a vacation. Like a longlong one. For a few weeks. Alone. Like on a pond. With a book. And a pen. And earphones. And typing. And like slippers or something. I’m not sure from what. I think from cockroaches and mosquitos, perhaps. I dunno. I think I’m afraid of the summer. Who’s EVER heard of someone taking a summer vacation from the SUMMER??? I’m such a weirdo.

5. I need to try to quit saying things like “like” and “totally,” but I fear that since the 80s it is too late for me and I really don’t care besides and also I have pink hair so really what’s the point anyhow.

6. I made a video for Joe’s birthday. Travis put it up on Spintown as well :)

I’m making another one too from my Nur Ein contest which I hope to finish tomorrow but we’ll see because I’m in the middle of a bunch of other stuff and some of which is overdue, much like the ending and the punctuation on this sentence. I’ve actually got a LOT of different ideas up my sleeve :)

7. I really wish that my stupid cat would deal with a roach when one crawls RIGHT UP in front of her face, rather than just sitting there like it’s okay. It’s NOT OKAY!!!!

8. I’m back to that place where I’m avoiding my co-contestants even though I have promised one of them at least to swap material because I am superstitious that my world will crack into tiny pieces if we hear one another’s material. I think this might have something to do with the weird-ness of the Joe factor and how that has fit into the contest-related-stuff. I’m trying to remember Fu’s Four and Five, and Nur Ein, but then again … in Fu Four and Five I was RELIGIOUS about not letting anyone hear anything. And in Nur Ein Joe heard everything up until he got sick and then gone (which was the first two rounds). Now, he can’t hear anything because he’s judging.

So I meticulously choose humans to show my material to.

9. The mosquitoes are obsessed with me. They want to buck my slood.

Anyway … deviation number 9. There’s a short list of people I’ll prolly get all needy on and stalk Who Are Probably Sick of Me. Of course, today I just …

… CRACKED up and became this wall of nervous agorophobia that didn’t want to be around ANYONE or talk to ANYTHING. I’ve turned into this weird blue vase. I can’t explain it. You know those blue vases? All that glassware made of very dark blue glass that you can’t see through and when it drops and breaks it’s very shiny and very sharp.

This metaphor makes no sense. I am a crazy person. I had a conversation with my husband in a parking lot today and I literally COULD NOT make myself understood. I can feel myself moving into a place where things are not working for me cerebrally. I hope I can make it to next week, I really do.

10. Speaking of crazy … Look what Caleb Hines posted to Twitter. It was Taco-centric, so natch he thought of moi. *sigh* … MY peeps :) :) :)

Okay. I should go to sleep now …


tags are out of control, so I’m not even dealing with those until later in life …

oh yeah … my hair’s pink (in case I didn’t (LIKE (*TOTALLY*)!) mention it in #5),  so…

ps. I’m hot :)

pps. I told Jules (who is scandalized!) that it was purple, but Michi said it would fade pink-y-er this time because it has more of a cherry base :)

I’ve sprinted upstairs. I feel decadent, dirty … ashamed. I feel like a liar, and a cheat.

I’m having an affair with an online songwriting competition. Again.

I actually had stuff all planned out. I wasn’t even going to WORK on this until later tonight. I was even going to work on my List of Things To Do. THAT used to be an addiction. Making lists. I would be oozing all over THAT.

Maybe the trouble is that I have an addictive personality. Whatever I am into, I am stuck like jam to and it is impossible to pry me off. If I am interested in you, for the week, look out. You’ll be completely overpowered. You won’t know what hit you. You’ll be my new fad. Until I am distracted by a new Bright Shiny Object.

Am I really that person?

The song has mutated into something dark and angry; developed an unlikely antagonist. The lyrics getting too long – the secret lair developing caverns. It will all have to be trimmed. The clutter is starting to look like the piles of crap in the bedrooom, the laundry. The stuff that needs doing while I mix and move lyrics around making my next move – working my sixteen hour days … lies UNDONE. Orchestrating stuff that doesn’t get relased because it isn’t perfect yet. Honing piano parts. Making setlists that look like perfectly clear martinis with olives floating in the triangular glass.

I can’t even explain what I’m trying to say here. I haven’t blogged in a while. I get really into my skull. I have felt kind of alone, a bit lately, with the writing.

I am too shitty a housewife to also become a shitty songwriter. Me with my issues and all.

I feel manipulative. This blog is on Twitter. I feel like I’m covering my ass, because I have people who are pulling for me. But who’s pulling for the wife, and who’s pulling for the musician?  And then there’s the thing …

Do I have time to be putting out silly videos that are … well, silly?

I’ve been looking at the way that other people do their videos, and it’s time to up my game. The only problem is that I can’t tell if I’ve developed some kind of a low-fi style that I need to get better at, or what. I don’t know. If that’s the case then I really need to figure it out.

I’ve got some stuff cooking, regarding that. Stuff involving other people.

But that stuff really involves me ALSO becoming a much better Austinite, and a better housewife, and a better friend, and a better live musician. All of which …

I suck at. Becuase I would much rather have an affair with competition after competition, waiting for my husband to leave so I can stop folding underwear and sprint upstairs to butcher my third draft of lyrics and strum the same four chords and work on the eighth version of a piano.

This is Not Healthy.

My name is Denise, and I’m ………

Ack. I think I am just feeling really angsty, and I am maybe trying to work myself into a good organizational place. Maybe trying to use my audience (you know…. the VAST SEA of you ALL … ;) … to motivate myself into HappyFunDenLand, which is a place that I have Just Made Up and which makes me use Inappropriate Capitals in my Sentences like a Freak.

Oh, isn’t it Joyous! #thisisn’tworking.

I do actually feel a little better. I shouldn’t complain about my husband. He is long suffering, and brings donuts.

Twenty Shiny DXets to the first person who ever tells me that sometimes, I have to suffer too, and that sometimes … OCCASIONALLY, it is SOMEWHAT feasible that even though yes, he is EXCELLENT and AMAZING and that SURE, his RIDICULOUS SIDEBURNS are filling out, I can sometimes suffer too, and Mike can be Tough to Take … and that I am not the only Problem Child in this Relationship.

I do not need saving today, and I do not even need to be a hero to save myself.

… we’ll be fine.


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