busybusywrongwrong

I need to be better. I’m not eating, and I’m not sleeping. I need to get ON-IT!.

Apparently, it’s really not very motivating to have your entire psyche filleted by a physic vampire – but there you go.

I’m being really extreme here. I’m totally fine.

I just can’t seem to get it together. Song Fu opens up this week again. ACK! My studio is a SHAMBLES. There’s stuff on Brigit’s Flame to do. I’m not going to even bother to make links. All this means that I pretty much just need to get all this stuff together. Like I say I’m going to do but never really quite manage to complete.

Oh well, at least I have written my complete bio.

On Being Driven

Sometimes, you have to work anyway.

When your life is falling apart, for whatever reason, you have to be a big girl. You have to suck it up.

And the work is good.

So I’m thinking, that it’s hard. It doesn’t look promising. When I say that, it means that the light at the end of the tunnel is REALLY far away.

So there’s no reason to get distracted now.

The 4 Month Challenge

I have a friend called Shelley who is a very motivated human. I met her in Longhorn Band. I have to admit that I wasn’t a huge fan of my time in the band, as I spent most of my time in the pit percussion area (mallet instruments), muttering under my breath. Like Gollum, but not as charming.

Anyway, Shelley exercises and stuff. I’m kind of on an exercise kick too, and I’m receiving the benefit of happy drugs since I’m ditching some of my more offending pharmaceuticals. I won’t get into it, but I’m not as sickly as I used to be. No more Hector Pi Laureate or anything. No more hormonal madness. Nada. So I have an oppurtunity to bend my metabolism to my ever-loving whim.

I put my goals up in a previous blog entry. So how am I doing?

Well, not well so far. This is typical of me. I always rebel at the first start. I stick my tongue out at it.

AT THIS POINT:

1. I have not gone to martial arts this week once. This is bad because I only went once last week, and twice the week before. Unk! I’m going to have to go tomorrow morning, which is going to HURT! And then there’s classes every day including Saturday. I should try to make Saturday, because they have tournament practice then. I should also go Thursday, because that’s when I usually meet up with the 8pm people (which is where I should be tonight!).

2. I didn’t write down my food for the last two days. This is a two day slip-up and has happened for the first time in over a month. I’ve been good about this for an entire month. I’ll write down my food as soon as I’m done with this blog. I’m going to take my vitamins too, because I just loaded three weeks worth of them. It’s not on my “official” list of goals – but it should be in my mind.

3. I practiced for over 4 hours today, so that’s good. It was not really regimented practice, nor did I really get any ideas down. I am firming up ideas for 3 or 4 songs that will need to be finished and put on the 2 hour set though. I’ll need to tighten up on the scheduling and get organized about the rehearsing soon, but it’s good work. I did some good vocal rehearsing.

4. I was all over the place today, socially. I’m net-stalking people who really shouldn’t be net-stalked … I’m CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK (this is a huge no-no in my case), I’m getting in over my head. I need to detach and go back into my own little world. I have told myself that I’m Face-banned. I don’t know for how long. This is good. I’ve enrolled in a writing contest and I’m waiting for Song Fu. These things don’t directly pertain to my goal … but they will help keep me out of the trouble that excessive brooding brings.

I will try not to engage in excessive blogging, or Twittering … or anything.

5. I didn’t get anything done on the studio, but everything tiny thing in the house that I clean is a step in the right direction toward that.

Practice makes Totally-Adequate-and-that’s-Just-Fine, thanks

I’m in a group on Facebook where we’re trying to meet our goals by the end of the year. Here are mine:

Denise’s goals:

1. Go to martial arts no less than 3 times per week for the rest of the year

2. Continue writing down everything I eat – every day (avg. 1200-1500 calories-ish, and not usually more than 2100-2300 – depending on exercise needs and other-type things)

3. Get my studio completely set up and all my songs rough recorded

4. Rehearse two full sets to “readiness” so that by January I can … START PERFORMING AGAIN.

5. Think before I dial, click send, or do other potentially neurotic activities.

I would like to blog my progress on these things, but I’m going to be gentle with myself. If the computer distracts me from all this, off it goes. I suppose I will (try to) keep you updated, whoever you are

‘This Thing Between Us’

This is my entry for the Brigit’s Flame writing contest. I don’t think that anyone but Flame members can vote in it (it’s an lj community).

It’s on my journal here:

‘This Thing Between Us’

Isn’t it irenics?

The word of the day today is:

irenic
\eye-REN-ik\

adjective;

Meaning

: favoring, conducive to, or operating toward peace, moderation, or conciliation

*****

Why have I been so late eating breakfast? Who knows? All I know is that today I am shooting for a block of uninterupted practice time. That just sounds like a bliss-out to me… Just me, dramatics free:)

– Post From My iPhone

bloggity-blog-blog-blog

After much deliberation, I’ve decided to import this blog into Facebook notes … hoping it lights a fire under my butt about getting back into this blog – which I am actually meant to be updating more regularly.

We’ll see. I’m not all that fond of the internet, and we’re just really lucky that I don’t lose my cell phone in a bar toilet more than twice a week when I go out to hear a show.