‘O Queen’

I have gotten into Masters of Song Fu round three by the skin of my ass. Here is the song, ‘O Queen‘ – and its lyrics below. I will post reviews of both rounds on this site.

Thank you!

 

O QUEEN

Men look at queens of the past for their clues
trying to see where the problem lies
in these old women’s shoes

Many men could have said / off with the ladies head!
what shall I do with her ?
maybe my wife should burn …

 CH
Queen Christina, oh Queen Christina
how thankful am I, that I live my life in 2009 …

I look to the past and know my sorry ass
would have tried not to fight
but my head would have ended up upon a pike –

for all to see
matrimonial expressions of horror
at justice gone so awry!

CH / BR
If now were then
would you’ve pulled me off of the fire … then ..?
 - instead of now asking me for advice

CH-out
Queen Christina, Queen Christina oh queen …

 

PS. Christina is Christina of Sweden. She was not executed and lived from 1626-1689. She was the daughter of Gustavus Adolphus and she was a patron of the arts – helping men such as Corelli and Scarlatti.

 

Anna’s Gerbil – starring TORI

This is Tori, the gerbil in question and the star of the Masters of Song Fu Round Two competition song ‘Anna’s Gerbil & the Singularity.’ Tori is part of a gerbil community with the charming name Twin Squeaks Gerbils.  I really lucked out by not sampling some random gerbil.  I know all gerbils are God’s creatures; all heading toward eventual singularities of their own … But this is a celebrity gerbil.  She’s had many views.  She’s got more fans than me …

Random Gerbil would be an AWESOME band name …

 

Songfu Entry Number 2

Here it is:  

‘Anna’s Gerbil & the Singularity‘

You can vote at the Quick Stop Songfu webite.  If you have trouble voting, refresh the cache and try again.  The voting engine has been squinky.

Below is the story of the song.  If you feel there are any gaps or questions, use your imagination!

Happy Hearing

DH

The way I keep things (relatively) short is to do it in list form, so we’ll keep it to that:

‘ANNA’s GERBIL & the SINGULARITY’ …

1. Anna is abruptly awakened! Her gerbil was already awake, spinning-spinning on his cute wheel.
2. She hears something … she is amazed and communes with it. Its beauty distracts her from a hostile takeover of her bedroom.
3. This is their first step.
4. The strange visitors come in two forms … Master and Slave
5. The slaves can fit in a cage … but gerbils don’t think of themselves as slaves like the visitors do
6. The slaves are very tiny, the masters, are not. The masters have lovely voices.
7. The gerbil doesn’t want to share his cage with tiny programmed slaves running robot military drills in between his wheel and the food.
8. Anna feels her gerbil is upset; the gerbil becomes agitated and protests his plight by loudly stomping his foot.
9. The tiny robots suddenly understand they are in a first contact situation and immediately disappear – taking their large ship and masters with them.

Do Anna and her gerbil now share a psychic connection? Did the self-improving scarily advanced “race” of robots’ finally reach a tipping point into self-actualization? Did the robots and the gerbil come together in a kind of psychic and territorial peace treaty? Were the robots ever going to grow in size?

Who knows? Maybe they had eerie weapons and it is better they left. Maybe they went to a certain wormhole to study the reject song ideas. Or simply, to rock.

 

ThemTube

So, I’m uploading a video on YouTube.  

It’s just a cute little video I took of a friend of mine’s kid at a Mexican restuarant a few months ago.  But I’m thinking about these things, because I’m doing this SongFu thing and everyone is doing videos and achieving and doing all this other stuff.  I’m a real hermit crab – and don’t even like to put that many things on myspace.  I’m really chuffed that I’ve even put ‘Tomorrow’s Not Today’ up there, because it’s a real good song and I feel like I’ve “lost” it somehow to the “powers that be.”  Even when I get it “back,” there will still be a “server copy” lying around somewhere and that could get hacked to bits and changed into a combo Elephant Tap dancing PeeweeHerman Rapa-baroqabilly Housetrance Acoustic Spoken Word Solo Underwear Concerto.  That’s if anything amazing ever happens to-me-ha-ha (which is the type of attitude I suppose these big companies bank on you having; the “well aren’t YOU big for YOUR britches to think that YOU need to copyright yourself so much that your PRECIOUS material doesn’t need OUR DIY help … you VISCIOUS PROLE!!!”).  Meanwhile, there’d be a lawsuit the size of Pangaea if we took a brass farthing from them …

Anyhow …

So I’m doing some research on all this, and I’m uploading the video at the same time.

Funnily enough, the video kept loading JUST fine.  But the ‘terms of service’ site kept coming up with a server error message.  As in “the YouTube servers are busy.  Or down.  Nuttinhoney ??? Move along, Charlie!  :)9 (that’s a cybergrin with a stylish and jaunty goatee).  All the while, my file’s busy chugg, chugg, chugging away. Now, I’m no techie.  Maybe I was part of the traffic clog.  But it seems kind of odd to me.  How much fairy dust does it take to open the terms of service page?  Why is that one the first to go?  And three times?  How extremely odd!

I did find an interesting article about all this though.

Makes me rethink all my plans about how I’m going to do all this.  Again.  Like I haven’t been already the whole time.

Would Alex Jones feel proud?  One-upped?  Or just call me an ameteur.  A dilletante!!!

DH

1. Bedtime.  HA!;  2. Lists: Finally making their wordpress debut.  Yay.  They’ve been on my lj forever; 3. Songfu: starting to freak me out; 4. Husband: sleeping, like a normal person.  I should record him, because he’s snoring; and sounds like Ferris Beuler’s recording.  That’d just be wrong though; 5. My blankets itch.  This might have something to do with my non-sleepiness.  And excessive Twittering …

PS.  Texas thunderstrorms rule, except for the stupidroaches.

 

‘Leave the Stone Alone’

Vote for my SONG FU song here.  Or forward this to EVERYONE you know so that THEY can vote for it

LYRICS are HERE

The voting engine is having trouble.  So you may have to try a few times.  This is a pain, so action will really jack up your karma!

Also, to further add to the confusion, my track is a bit … quiet.  Make sure you turn it up.  Yes, I will learn how to normalize properly in the next round.  The song is still, however, a STUNNER!

DH, out

PS. The song is not actually called ‘Leave the Stone Alone, Yep.’  There is no ‘yep.’  I had to send a corrected file.  If I’d been able to send another, or another in a series of orrected (perhaps normalized?!) file/s … you may be begging all your friends to vote for ‘Leave the Stone Alone_Yep2 ;’ or even ‘Leave the Stone Alone_Yo-Diggety-Doo-Shampoopidditydoo’

And that’s just CRAZY Talk!

 

back to the drawing board

 

Leave the Stone Alone

Here are the lyrics to ‘Leave the Stone Alone’ – which is actually just called ‘Leave the Stone Alone,’ and not ‘Leave the Stone Alone_Yep’

See me there … innocuous rock /
You don’t care, you’re gonna pick me up
And put me in your hand you fool of a man /
Even though I’m minding my own business in my garden

You put me in your pocket – perhaps you’re stupid /
I’m getting angry at your impudence
You assume I can do nothing about your insolence /
And that there’s nothing more to me than symmetry and smoothness

I think – real – hard, the air … starts – moving
I start to laugh … you’ll be a hapless victim of my master plan
Your stomach starts to burn and churn and soon you’re feeling smaller
Like Alice down in Wonderland you’re nowhere that you understand
And although I’m inanimate – seems someone bested you – guess who …

CH
You’ve gone through a wormhole where the reject song ideas go
You’re a paper clip now – stretching out to hold a memo
I’m an angry rock, and I settled the score / I’m not the only object anymore
When the magic wears off it will be all over
But you’ll remember … 
You better leave the stone alone : ||

The spell wears off … You shook it off /
You thought it was a bad dream – that you woke up from
My wormhole spit you back into your human shape, ‘n the-way-it-works,
the magic vapor dissipates and then I gotta wait … for  … it

You seem to ‘remember, something ’bout a rock /
Your booty’s sore from being twisted ’round the legal docs
And I don’t have an arm to smack you, or legs to track you /
When you see the stone you think it’s me – I focus … to attack you

So I c-concentrate …. once again the air shakes
I think the dirty mouths of people sure do stank …

 
CH
You’ve gone through a wormhole
Where the reject song ideas go
I have hurled you through the void / In the form of an altoid
Although I cannot move  … I search and destroy
I’m an angry rock, and I settled the score
I’m not the only object anymore
When the magic wears off you’ll be a human again and it will be all over
But you’ll remember
You better leave the stone alone

(”You better leave the stone a-lone” / “It’s never done nothin’ to you, now”)

 

Song Fu

I uploaded my song on my myspace site … altho I hate that I don’t have my OWN page up and running and have to have a friggin myspace page and that I’m a net-mutant that functions … well … not in the least.  I have noticed that I need a snazzy website and an ability to design it and also an ability to perfectly run my own home studio.  What’s wrong with me?  This is probably why I have been lurking, cave-fish-like, in my house for forever … massive intimidation.  Oh well.  No more whining.  Time to get over myself and wait for the voting to commence so that I can trull for attention and make it to the coveted next round (fingers crossing).

I really am proud of my work

Despite the fact that I only got HALF of the production I wanted on it done, and that I had to cut it in THREE hours (WHEW!), and that I was still writing it at 7:30 because I ended up writing five songs on a total of six topics (with a short-list of 3 – including cigar, breath mint, and paperclip); and despite the sad fact that someone else has written a &*$*#  song about a (^*&*^ r0ck!!!!! aggghghghghghghghgg.  Two good coin songs and two good rock songs so far (if I do say so myself).

And there are a bunch of high quality folks doing this stuff.  There will be more, I’m sure.

 … I think that it REALLY DID turn out rather well.  So I’m going to remain calm and not spaz out.  I’m going to say that it’s like freaking out about another band writing a love song.  

EXAMPLE: “Oh, bullocks Nigel!  Criminy!  The band Twisted Knickers has written a LURRRVE song and stolhluhn our THUNDAH ….”

HYPOTHETICAL RESPONSE: “I know, Pricilla, dahling … what shall we do”

EX: “Kill them!  Maim!  Destroy!”

HR: “But Nigel, they hath completed their tune first!”

EX: “No matter Priscilla … now that I have learned to spell your name correctly, with an ‘S,’ I believe that even though they did complete their tune first – we have found a magic rock.  Therefore we will go back in time and destory ‘ze evidence”

[Nigel twirls his mustachios and slurks away into the gloom of nighttime conspiracy ...]

So yeah – it’s like double musicians both doing a love song – rather than the Beatles finding out that another band had also done a tune covering meter maids, or whatever they were talking about in ‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammer.’  Or whatever.  Who knows these things.  Perhaps I should just rock on.

 

Song ….. f …. uh …. oooo ….?

Oh …. CRAP!   Song Fu is UP!  The anticipation is too MUCH!  I haven’t read it yet.  The anticipation has been too much.  I thought I’d blog first.  Will check back in full spaz mode …

 

Now I Know My “ABC’s” …

No one reads this blog at the moment, except for possibly a few friends who have me squeezed onto their Google readers … 

I am quite thankful for this, for I have found out that wordpress DOES INDEED have a spell check.

It’s that GREAT BIG BUTTON up above the box I’m typing in.  The one with “ABC” in it, and the letters are situated right above a check mark.

I believe that it is scintillating intelligence such as this that will make my sweep of the Song Fu competition a SURE THING …