1. I’m writing the novel in one month thing. I tried to do it before, but in reality, I didn’t. I’m doing it this time. Yep.
2. My characters already want to take over and drive the story. It’s going to be hard to steer this ship. I don’t know what will happen.
3. I started a bit late because of stuff and things and so I decided to put Ketchup on the problem and do 6000 words today. I realized at 4000 that 3000 words is actually quite a lot and that 6000 was going to be a whole bunch of book and at least 2-5 scenes, perhaps more. It kept me busy most of the day because I’m not “just write”-ing. If I let myself just write my story will just write itself and I don’t know what I will end up with because when I just write something else comes out of my fingers that I didn’t decide on.
4. I know that’s weird. Also, it’s ALWAYS autobiographical.
5. I can’t recall whether or not I’ve eaten today. Never a good sign. If I’m going to do this, I have to do it right or not at all. I’m done for now and also not doing it tomorrow if I can’t behave myself. Then I’ll have to get to 10,000 and that’s a whole lot of words!
1. We’re babysitting tonight. Tiniest niece.
2. I’m dealing with old entries from this blog. I see end-of-tunnel light, with these tags. Also, I might be psychic. I need to listen to myself when I talk because I’m right a lot of the time. That’s not conceit, that’s just experience. And good sense.
3. I may have said this before in this blog, but a wise thing has been said by many – that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is called music-practicing….
4. No. Wait. It’s called insanity. But when you practice too fast you’re in a weird logic loop. Lather-rinse-repeat.
a. you screw up! surprise!
b. do it again!
c. go back to a!
d. are you here because you figured out you’re going to read this entry forever? Good! Go back to a but do it FASTER! Maybe that will FIX it!
e. you’re stupid
f. forget everything you know…
g. drink. or play iPhone games. or go ruin something else in life.
h. go back to a…….
this is not a very constructive practice routine, as you can see. I also left out a lot of the swearing. I’m writing a song right now sort of based on this, but we’ll see how it goes. It may be controversial. I’ve been writing almost songs a lot lately. And I’m okay with that.
5. Anyway, I’ve decided to have salad tonight because I know better than to continue eating fried chicken when I know it makes me sick. We have left-overs.
Every time you’re either “insane” or mean to yourself about being “crazy,” it wears away pieces of you and you don’t bounce as high, it seems.
But I can tell you that you get a hell of a lot smarter. And dozens of whiny blog entries eventually become a few well placed reflections and the simple statement:
“Thanks be to NOvember.”
It’s the most settled in of months. You just ride this sucker home. It’s time for the mosquitos to leave now.
Be well, my goblin readers … xxxxx
let secrets bubble
in your gut
only little sips
be bitter when
the wean-offs happen
eat guilt up
weep with thirst
suck down every gulp
stop wishing for the
there once was
feel sunlight slide away
look off to the side
be tired, be unamazed
stop the desperate tick
swear it’s one last time
then habits die
- a life lived more in line
with proper fish, with physics.
then when nothing thrives
and you feel your planet waning
make your wishes….
stay with your sinking ship
take comfort in your
old star guides
do not call nature what it is!
let your soul tell death
its fearful lie…
don’t think upon your ashes.
apologies if you read this in G+ … just skip it if you did. I like this one though
picture something lovely
from the past…
paired beside the vilest asp.
then picture hiding it inside
forgiving it. forgetting it.
that is how love learns
to make nice.
after the jungle-tumble of a soul-slap heals
and sorts out to a path,
stare across a spiky city into ice.
creep quiet through the tunnels
with anonymous rats, think twice
about ever trying again, for that!
Staple on that grin!
then beg, stupidly, relentlessly for
one. Last. time.
(…as if accidentally),
Miss the little things
shut those clear bright eyes.
move on, far beyond surprised.
Make another sensible choice
to not forget
that broken mend.
Nonetheless, the soul continues
there is no command from above.
I writhe under such absences.
surely you (of all people!) can
understand how to
so we slip and slide, turn by
you perhaps, a thing so unconcerned
you eat minds like mine
all the time,
serving up your
rhyme spiced u-turns
1. today I am feeling a little blue, because I have been sick and I don’t understand it. Things I don’t understand and can’t control make me frustrated. So I wore blue and did some writing and went around in my underdrawers (#tmi) and socks and coffee (I drank the coffee, I didn’t wear it) but did NOT answer the door when strangers came. I indulged in the privacy of my own homeostasis. It was grand. I feel better.
2. I require noodles now. I think I’ll make them. With butter. Just a little butter. I haven’t been eating well. I could use some vegetables but we’ll cross that broccoli when we cucumber it.
3. Somebody help me.
4. I have projects. Rest assured, stuff is a’happening. Like exciting stuff. I’m purchasing props and stuff. Yes. Props. Isn’t THAT some exciting teaser-ly information!?
5. I’m happy to report that my breath has improved a great deal. I flossed last night like no one has flossed in many a year. I had the freshest breath in the entire nation. I’m going to do it again tonight. I am going to engage in proper dental hygiene every day for an entire week in an effort to become a proper grown up human before I turn 40. It’s the little things, I feel, that make us stronger. I might be REALLY turning you folks off right now, but it’s important to make small-assed goals and not bite off more than we can choo-choo.
1. I haven’t been well. I had to go to the hospital last night for chest pains and this was NOT a good time for that because I am in the middle of some C R A Z Y interpersonal crap right now that is dramatic-only-to-me. One of those situations where something is waaaaaay more significant to you (who is me) because inside your (who is my) skull you (etc) are the goddess of your (zzzz) own little universe. Like when The Royal Third-Person-in-this has a crush on a celebrity and sees they died on-screen or they’re having a perfect child with a gorgeous model or something. They Royal Me’s clock is t-i-c-k-i-n-g and so All-of-the-Us-es go home and eat all of the chocolate in the entire univers….
2. ker-SCHMACK! AHEM!
3. well. That was very unhealthy, wasn’t it. Anyway. Femme-femme-la-dramatics wasn’t why I was in the hospital.
4. My breath could really, really improve. I think I should floss more. I have become a really unsexy creature.
5. $hi! don’t judge me! It’s not like I NEVER floss or take showers! GAH! I just need to get my priorities straight. The other evening I noticed that I had a gnat encircling my head, like Pigpen on the Peanuts cartoons. I thought daaaaaamn girl…. you have REALLY let yourself go………. it was like that time in college when I let my trunk rot out because I was depressed and couldn’t be bothered to take whatever died out of it. That, is depression. The inability to lift the fork up to your mouth that has the food on it and starving to death. Everyone calls your Death By Apathy a suicide and doesn’t call it depression and mention starvation. They think how could she!? Didn’t she know people cared?!? What about GOD!?!?!?
6. My chest hurts. Anyway. That’s why I was in the hospital. I thought that I was having a heart attack. I was in a great mood, but I had stayed up all night writing and doing work and was in a good mood and had written emails and hit “send” on the last one I wrote which was nice and then my chest ripped in half. I knew it was not just something dumb so I woke Mike up and said “we need to go now.”
7. I ended up thinking it was something gastronomical but I didn’t want to be the girl who went home after thinking it was just something flurpy and then dies in her sleep. They laughed when I said that. So now I have to go to a cardiologist. I’m one-upping this. I’m going back to martial arts. Because exercise is boring unless it’s hard core(ing).
8. I could really, really, REALLY use a time machine. I think the time machine should go to the person who doesn’t need it though, really. Because I’d probably just screw up again, but in the past.
9. The mosquitoes are out of control. Also I think I avoid things sometimes when I don’t know what to do about stuff.
1. Something good happened: Blogathon.
2. Something bad happened: I wrote something and it basically got rejected. Oh whale.
3. My back hurts. Wah. There will be no sympathy for this I’m afraid.
4. I have a doctor appointment today.
5. I’m afraid this blog is boring.
6. It’s because I’m sad today. I’m sad because it’s Monday and mosquitoes ate my leg.
7. I think coffee will fix that problem a bit (the sad, not the leg).
8. my computer is ready.
9. Paint is drying on a wall somewhere.
10. no one was aroused by my blogging in any time zone to-day. Not anywhere. In any universe. Not even the snails, or really easy to please fish.
1. Deal with WordPressissuedammit
2. Stop sneaking out with candy
3. Wash clothes.
4. Clean ears.
5. ReRecord Everything
6. Throw away most of my Evernotes. Into the lava of mt. doom.
8. Eat salad.
9. Go back on Internet. Keep tweeting into the vast silence that is the void of the blackness that is Social Media
10. Retag everything I wrote ever.
11. Create Charming Videos in which I bother to brush hair.
12. here is an orange. It’s not a Pumpkin but it tried, okay?
1. I like to make lists. I’ve been doing them since I was tiny, apparently.
2. Apparently also, my skills at plot development and dialogue haven’t improved any from my youth. Not sure how old I am here.
3. My teacher thinks I’m excellent.
4. Blogathon Saturday. I’m off my game this year because of Things and Stuff; but I’m going to hang back and Learn and keep motivated. Kinda like a wordSpy. We’ll get there. Right now I’m pushing the bike up the hill. But I’m still smiling. Because I’m brave.
5. I’m nobody’s lunch.
6. This is what the Story says:
Frog and toad together Chapter 1 a list
One morn – ing toad made a list that said: wake up put on close eat Brekfast. That’s funny. I don’t have wilgle my ears toad said then he spit at his list.
chapter 2 I’m not afraid.
One day Frog Went to toad’s house. He said let’s go out to see if we are brave let’s go out. I don’t want to go out Frog said toad. Please let’s go siad Frog. Ok but_I don’t want to be scard. So on they went. But they saw an eagel and ran. Later they saw a scary cave And a snake came out. He said hello lunch! They ran home ————> They got in to bed. ——–> Frog said / We are brave ———> Toad said ——> You are / right